A/N
Hi so a few things to know before we start
1-shuichi has adhd,depression and anxiety
2-he has an inferiority complex
3-abandonment issues
4-afraid of and starved of physical affection
In other words my man has a bunch of issues- also
Italics mean he's thinking to himself
Bold means intrusive thoughts
Ty for reading!
TW:suicide mentions,Bullying and self harm
"Morning freak!"
"Are you on your way to feel up someone?"
"Hah! Look at the freak he wants to cry!"
"Such a baby"
Shuichi walked through the halls with his hat down far. Tears welled up in in his eyes but he held a 'creepy' grin on his face and refused to let the tears flow.
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry! I'm sorry I'm such a creep! I'm sorry I'm really sorry..
Kill yourself! No one will care~ do it do it do it i dare you!
He quickened his pace until the wooden classroom door was in sight. This place was not much safer that the halls but it was a place he could sit and do his best to hide and not be a burden.
"Morning saihara! Fucked anyone during the weekend?" Shuichi lifted his head and pulled his hat up slightly "m-morning Iruma-sama! I was just-" the boy felt inferior to his class. He insisted that he, as the "classroom freak" refer to all them as '-sama' they never corrected him. Most people decided not to bother the troubled boy. "Shush" maki pushed shuichi into the door frame as she walked into the crowded classroom...with kokichi. Shuichi looked at them both causing kokichi to flinch and hide behind maki "Ah! I'm so sorry ouma-sama! I didnt mean to scare you! I'm sorry i really am!" "Dont look at him Stalker" maki glared an icy cold stare that sent chills down shuichi's back. He quickly looked away "m-maki-san dont be so mean he just looked at me.." kokichi trailed off but shuichi felt a glimpse of hope maybe he dosent hate me! Maybe i have a chance to be his friend! "I know people say he a stalker and all but dont be so mean. He's a person you know" all hope shattered along Shuichi's heart.
idiot you're such an idiot just die! Just die and everyone would be better off!
"I-I'm so sorry! Ill go sit down and shut up i swear." Shuichi speed-walked to his seat and layed his head on his desk quietly sobbing to himself.
Soon enough the bell ran and shuichi wiped tears away to pay attention to class.
But no matter how hard he tried his thoughts pushed at his mind. Drowning him in the ever-flowing thoughts that plagued his mind. They were so loud.
There's a sharp pencil right there; why dont you pick it up and st4b your hand. Pain will bring some feeling .
Look around. All these people hate you. Jump out the window there's no lock.
Idiot you got that answer wrong maybe you're too dumb to become a detective after all.
Forget about being a detective you'll never live long enough to graduate.
"Saihara! Why are you mumbling?its disruptive cut it out" Shuichi flinched as he looked up at the angry teacher and his snickering classmates "I'm sorry sensei. Ill stop please continue" the teacher sighed and returned to the lesson.
Class went by as slow as it could and by the end shuichi was done. So done and tired.
But life never let him catch a break. Nope now its lunch time and its just him and his thought, his oh so lovely thoughts
Word count:620
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