"I-I'm sorry sir what d-did you say?" Shuichi trembled in bad memories as cold sweat dripped down the back of his neck, he looked the man in his cold merciless eyes choosing that to be the better choice over fueling his eating disorder, "i said man up! What are you a scared little girl? What kind of man cares about his weight? Pull it together p*ssy" the man shoved shuichi towards the scale and turned back to his table leaving shuichi standing there with his eyes closed.
All of this was one big punch in the gut and to be honest he would rather a real punch.
His entire life the words Man up tainted his childhood, he was never allowed to cry because it made him less of a man, he was never allowed to feel sad about anything that happened in his life because he would be weak... 'a girl'.
Shuichi never hated women, he found comfort in his mothers arms or the lady next door. Even the store clerk that once asked of he was ok when he started twitching after holding in a panic attack, she was the only one that seemed to care in that crowd of people making disgusted faces; that crowd including his so called 'father'. But he did find that the 'clients' he used to get were women that didnt seem to care he was a 13 year old. That may have taken a tole in his trust of women in status relationships. His aunt seemed to grow cold and eventually ignoring the ocurances in shuichi's home after his uncle inevitably passed away. His mother couldn't take it and left him alone with that demon of a man. That wreched new woman he was forced to treat as a mother figure. He never had a real role model. Male or female
He was always told to 'man up' be his own role model. Make his own food. Hug himself. Comfort himself after being defiled by those 'clients'.
He never did see himself fit of 'being a man'. He cried. He apologised. He harmed himself. He let his emotions through with ouma. He let himself show emotion with his friends.
Was it better that way?
Was he meant to never 'be a man'
"Kid! You weigh 100 pounds kid. Eat more you can go" shuichi tried opening his mouth but nothing came out . Instead he decide to run out the tent and hide behind the school bush.
YOU ARE READING
A Burden I Will Bear
Romance||NON TOXIC pregame oumasai|| (Part 1 of my saiouma trilogy) (Part 2 is "broken lies and lovely truths"-ingame saiouma) Shuichi is perceived as "that perv" all over school. All he wanted was a few friends and maybe just maybe some human affection b...
