Some Thorns, Some Roses

IV | The Difference Between Love & Hate

The day after I found out she was dead felt like a broken damn. Feelings bottled up and then with the severance, a huge catastrophic wave of pain. The trauma I would experience from it all would be long lasting. The rebuild would take a long time. 

I woke up to the sound hitting my face, giving me some warmth. I also felt my hair being stroked through gently. My eyes fluttered openly slowly and it was Quincy sitting down next to me with a soft smile on his face.

When I realised it was him, I jolted up towards him and wrapped my arms around his neck and shoulders, giving him the biggest hug I could.

His hands automatically wrapped around my waist, holding me equally as tight if not tighter. Feeling the vibrations from his chest as he laughed was the best feeling in the world. Familiarity.

I don't know why my eyes started to fill with tears because I was elated. A big grin was plastered on my face, a smile that went from ear to ear. I was literally choked up with happiness and my voice made it apparent.

"I'm so happy y-you're here." I choked out, my voice cracking at the end. He continued deeply laughing, holding me tighter and tighter by the second.

"No place I'd rather be."

However, the consequences were not obvious at first. They only reared their ugly heads once things seemed to slow down, which was the worst possible way to appear. At first I thought I was in the clear, but I was not. It was just a slow gain. More and more went wrong as time went on.

I didn't want to have to face the music, but I did. I did it with a bravery that I think my brothers would. When I came downstairs, my parents were no where to be found(as usual), but all of my brothers were there and so were my friends.

Quincy, Atticus, PJ, Auggie, Angel, Britt, Connie, Derek(one of me and Auggie's good friend), and weirdly enough Atwood. He was there and it was trippy as hell.

Apparently, he had just appeared because everyone was giving him the fifth degree. PJ and Auggie were strategically placed in between Atticus and Atwood. I looked at Atti's hard glare and his threatening demeanor. But Atticus was smirking as if he knew he could murder him in our living room and I did not question his ability to do so. I saw this going bad so fast.

So I cleared my throat, which successfully grabbed everyone's attention. I first heard Angel's soft voice. "Rena..."

Without hesitation, she marched towards me, throwing her arms around me. She held onto me tight and I hugged her back briefly, keeping my eyes on Atticus and Atwood. I slowly got out of her embrace and continued looking at the only thing that could go wrong today.

Sniffing in deeply and putting on a cold, indifferent expression.

"What's going on?" I pointed my chin at Atwood and he took a deep breath, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Honestly?" he asked and I nodded my head, hoping he'd tell me the truth. Atwood took a couple of steps closer to me, I felt Quincy stand right behind me. Like directly behind me. If I were to take a half a step back, I would run straight into his chest.

I could imagine the cold expression that Quincy had behind me, I almost started laughing, but instead I looked at Atwood awaiting his response.

"I was with Con last night when she heard the news from Luke." sometimes I forget that people started calling Auggie, Luke. It tripped me out for a second, but then I snapped back. "I... I was gonna call or send flowers, but it all felt impersonal. I know that I just stopped being you and Phee's best friend, but pretending like you don't mean a lot to me felt wrong. So by the time I was figuring out what would be the best thing for, I was parked outside your house this morning."