Some Thorns, Some Roses

XX | Trading Pieces of Me for Pieces for You

"Serena, you can't be serious." Beau nearly laughed into the phone. I rolled my eyes and sighed deeply. 

I'm with him, you can't be serious. 

" I am." I quickly snapped at him. "I am ruining my family's life as Disney Channel as that statement sounds. I don't like the responsibility of that on my shoulders. I can't sleep at night, I'm scared all the time, and the guilt of my brothers losing things they care about is eating away at me. Literally. I've lost ten pounds in the past two days. In the past that is something I would have celebrated, but it's not a good thing. None of this is and I'm tired Beau. Please... I will beg." 

He sighed harshly and I could practically feel him nodding his head. However, the silence means he considering it. 

"Please don't treat me with kids gloves like the rest do." 

He bitterly snorted and replied, "Have I ever?" 

No.

"So don't start now." I quickly retorted, leaving another gap of silence in our conversation. 

"Alright." he agreed dryly. 

"Really?" I questioned him, barely believing those words came out of his mouth. 

"Mhmm." he hated the idea, but I was glad he was going with the idea. 

"So let's do it." I was more than eager to get things back to normal even if I had to sacrifice pieces of me in this capacity. 

"Not so fast..." Beau reminded me of the logistics that we had to carefully follow. "Two important things to note: You are not 18, which means, we cannot get married until you birthday." 

"That's months away!" I exclaimed and then reminded myself to quiet down because Perris was outside my bedroom door. "We can't wait that long. That's too much time in between for something to go wrong. That's nearly two months away!" 

"Calm down, if we announce our engagement now, they still can't touch you." Beau explained to me and I semi-relaxed from his words. "We just need to process intake you into our organization." 

"Your organization?" I reminded him, that we weren't yet together. 

He hummed and I could hear some shuffling, "Serena, you are going to be my wife. As of right now, we are engaged which means that everything I own is yours too." 

I could slice the silence in half. It was so apparent and so visible that even I could see it. The silence wasn't just heard, it was seen. 

Wife. 

A married woman considered in relation to her spouse.

Wife. 

I was going to be someone's wife and that thought left my voice box empty. 

"Serena?" Beau called my name, feeling the way in which I was panicking. I wasn't ready to be someone's wife! I was terribly failing at being a daughter, sister, cousin, friend, student, and leader. I was still learning how to be a human fucking being, let alone someone's wife. 

I felt like I couldn't breathe at that damned word. 

Beau was right and I couldn't argue his words because that was the way it was supposed to be right? Marriage. What's mine is his and what's his is mine? That concept I could easily grasp. It was tangible because I have seen it. 

My parent's share everything and it has been this way for as long as they have been married. I guess, it was the assumed when they signed the contract. Isn't that what marriage is, a contract?