Some Thorns, Some Roses

X | Memories: Beau & Serena Pt. 2

Flashback start

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The rest of the summer was spent with him. With little contact with my best friends, I really didn't have anyone to talk to. I was heartbroken and alone so it was nice being in the presence of someone who instantly understood me. I was accepted with no questions asked... 

I found out that Beau was kind and gentle, everything about his bad boy exterior was just circumstantial. He was born in the wrong family and the wrong time. However, he cared so much about his brothers that he couldn't just pretend that he didn't have responsibilities, no matter that danger. No matter what it costed him. 

During my time spent with him, he never told me what those responsibilities were, but I knew they weren't exactly legal. But I didn't care because the Beau that was with me was genuine. My family expressed their disdain for him, but not for any legit reason. However, any piece of information to get rid of him they would have gladly used. But they couldn't find anything. Despite their attempts to try to separate use, we only grew closer and closer.

It was nearing the end of the summer. I spent nearly 180 days with him... every single day. Walking on the beach, talking about our lives or likes. Going on long drives, listening to blaring music. We spent many hours at his apartment, battling over the board game Monopoly. Going to different restaurants, trying new foods that neither of us had tried. All while not sharing any romantic moment. Not even a kiss. 

Of course as friends would do for each other, we have feigned being a in a relationship in order to get people to leave us alone. Beau even got into a fight over me when we went to this one club. Beau was not just considered my friend... he was my person. 

I don't know why I felt this way towards him. I can't describe the feelings. It's not the feeling of comfort and familiarity like I have with my brothers or cousins. It's not the feeling of being supported and heard like it is with Atwood or Seraphina. It's not the feeling of someone being infatuated with who I am as a person like it was with my past lover. It was like Beau knew who I was before I had the real chance of exploring my mind myself. 

He knew my thoughts or the words I struggled to say. He never pried it out of me because he already knew. Beau understood everything about me and I had no idea how, but I didn't much care. He was always there for me, always knowing what I needed, always my person. 

I'm not just saying that it was all dandy and delightful. No, it was far from that some days. During the day, we would spend hours and hours together having a blast, but during the nighttime I could rarely get a hold of him. Beau was nowhere to be found during the night and sometimes it scared me. 

The idea of him coming back the next morning after ghosting me after 5pm with bruised knuckles scared me. When we were together he would look out into the distance with a voided glare until I snapped him back into reality. But just as he never invaded my privacy in that way, I would not invade his. 

So most of the time, I would just gently caressed his bruised knuckles and look out into the area of what he was staring at. I never wanted to make him feel alone because I felt more myself than I have ever felt when I was with him. I had to give him at least a piece of that back. 

It wasn't until a week before I left Florida that he told me the truth and I actively listened while sitting in his lap. We were very intimate with each other, even though we had not done anything romantic. We were in his apartment all alone late one night, just enjoying each other's presence, enjoying the last days we had with each other.