Saddle up

Chapter Twenty-Six

"Jess, it's me. I have been to your house and around town several times today trying to find you. Where are you?!" He sighed. "Listen, what you saw in my kitchen today...it wasn't..." He sighed in frustration again. "It's not what you think. Just...please call me."

I tossed my phone in my cup holder, pulled back onto the road, and sped towards home, trying to clear my mind and figure out what the hell I was going to say to Brant.

For now, though, I needed to take a minute to myself. I pulled into my drive and entered my empty house. I went to my room and slipped on a string bikini and grabbed a beach towel from the linen closet on my way out to the screened in porch where our hot tub was. This was my favorite place to be when I needed time to think. I pulled the blinds around the porch closed, flipped the lid off the tub and climbed in. A perfect 98 degrees...

I sighed and rested back into the jetters. Closing my eyes and leaning my head back, I tried to make sense of what I had seen in the kitchen at Brants. The image of him kissing her flashed through my mind again and I grimaced, tears threatening to fall at any moment.

I heard a sound from inside the house and opened my eyes to see Cole in the threshold.

I jumped "Jesus! You scared the hell out of me!!"

Cole entered the screened in porch, looking guilty.

"I'm sorry, he smirked. I was just trying to come say goodbye again before I headed back to rehab..."

"Oh...going back already?"

"Yeah, I figured it's probably the best place for me until the viewing and funeral, ya know?"

"Yeah, you're probably right. Did you want to talk anymore before you left?"

Cole hesitated..."Actually...that'd be great. Can I hop in there, too?"

"Of course." I moved to the opposite side while Cole stripped down to his briefs. I tried not to watch as he folded his clothes and neatly placed them on the table before climbing into the tub.

He sighed contently as he rested back into his spot across from me. " I always loved this thing..."

I chuckled in agreement. "It definitely helps to relieve stress..." I spent a lot of time in here this summer", I said without thinking...

Cole's eyes opened and met mine. "I'm sorry I ruined your summer."

"What, no..I didn't mean it like that, Cole..."

"It's okay, I've been hurting a lot of people these days. You don't have to be nice about it."

I sighed in frustration and moved towards Cole to comfort him.
"Cole, you just lost your Pap. Don't do this to yourself. This isn't the kind of mentality you need to go back to rehab with..."

His eyes were on mine, now. He was trying hard not to show any emotion, but I could see the tears threatening to fall at any moment. I didn't know what to do besides hug him...

He welcomed my embrace, pulling me tight into his chest and burying his face into my neck. He shuttered as he allowed the tears to fall.

"Shhh, it's gonna be okay. You'll get through this." I soothed...

After several moments, Cole pulled back from me slightly, so that our faces were mere inches apart. "Thank you for always being here, even when I don't deserve it." He whispered.

Before I could respond Cole's lips were on mine.

I immediately pushed off of him. "Cole, no. I can't..."

He caught me before I could slip away completely. "Jess, please. I need you. I need to feel something other than misery right now....Can't we just forget about everything for a minute and just enjoy each other's company...?