Saddle up

Chapter Five

I didn't know what else to do besides stand there and watch both the horse and Brant's reaction. He just stood there watching me, for what seemed like forever. I could hear and see Izzy behind him carrying on but that was just a blur. All I could focus on was the look on Brant's face. The look of absolute love and longing. That was the look every girl hoped for in her lifetime. It lasted a few more moments, the two of us just standing at a distance, staring at one another, until eventually Izzy's commotion got Chases's attention and he ran out to see what was wrong.

"Hey! What's up with you guys?", Chase asked.

I was the first to look away and acknowledge that Chase had even spoken.

"Uhh, nothing. Nothing, everything's fine. I think Izzy just thinks I'm Kelsey right now. I could still feel Brant's eyes on me.

"Yeah? She's not the only one, I think",Chase said with slight concern in his voice as he watched Brant.

Finally Brant snapped back to reality and looked down at the ground. There was a look on his face that was a mixture of hurt and desire. I took another step in Brant's direction, but it triggered something in him and he took off in full sprint towards the pasture. Both Chase and I didn't even have a chance to ask what was up. All we could do was watch and Brant reached the nearest horse, jumped on bareback, and shot off towards the woods in the far side of the pasture.

"What the hell got into him?, I asked, still watching the path that Brant and the horse disappeared on.

"He probably didn't tell you this, but Kelsey and him were moving in together when she got in that accident. She was actually in the process of bringing stuff over from her mom and pops place when it happened..."

"I know, I cut in. He told me in the house before I changed into her clothes."

"Yeah? Did he tell you she was wearing that exact outfit the day she got into that accident?" Chase watched as the shock of what he had just said sunk in. "He was planning on proposing to her that night, too. I was supposed to help him set everything up. We were in the process when he got the call. That day changed him, Jess, and to no fault of yours, I just think the outfit triggered those feelings he'd been beating down in himself for so long.

"Should we go follow him and make sure everything's alright?"

"No, he's had a few moments like this before. Best thing to do is let him have his time. He'll be back."

"Well what do we do then? All the works done, but I don't want to leave until I know he's home safe."

"Let's get you on a horse."

"Uhh, no. The last time I was on a horse was when I took lessons in fourth grade. I don't remember anything about how to ride a horse", I responded.

"Which is exactly why we're going to get you back on one, so you can learn. You can't work at a horse ranch and not ride horses."
Before I could argue further, Chase grabbed my hand and lead me to the barn. We stopped in front of Duke's stall, an all brown quarter horse. Chase grabbed the lead line off the hook by the stall door and handed it to me.
"Pull him out and lead him to the indoor arena out here", Chase said as he walked off in that direction, once again before I could protest.

Once Duke and I met Chase at the arena, he had me tie him up to the gate and proceeded to show me how to saddle the horse up. Once we were completely finished  and inside the arena, he told me to get on. I had a moment of Deja' voo from when I was little. I remembered how excited I was to climb up on top of a horse, but now that I was older and wiser, I felt myself getting nervous. Chase saw this in me and quickly reassured me everything would be ok.
"Don't ever show a horse you are afraid. They can read you like a book. If you're nervous and uneasy on a horse, they'll feed off that energy. Take a nice deep breath, be confident, and climb on top. I'll be right here with you. I'd never put you on a horse that I thought would hurt you. Duke here is one of the horses we use for lessons. He wouldn't hurt a fly."

I had only known Chase for a few days now, but I felt like I'd known him my entire life, so I trusted in what he told me completely.

"Ok", I said, as I straightened myself in the saddle. "Let's do this."

"That's what I like to see", Chase said with a grin. I knew some confidence was hiding in there somewhere. Alright, we're gonna start off slow, keep your heels down, shoulders back, and let's go!" With that, Chase lead Duke and I around and around, giving instructions and advice as needed. I was surprised at how much I actually did remember from when I was a kid, and before long, Duke and I were trotting around the arena on our own without any help. Chase stood in the middle watching us go round and around.

"Look at that, Chase said. You're a natural, little lady!" With that I asked Duke to go faster, and in different directions. I was so absorbed in what I was doing that I didn't even realize I had been giggling to myself. I had forgotten the absolute thrill of being on top a horse. Chase was laughing too at my reaction.
"It's fun, ain't it?", he asked. And I made eye contact with him for the first time since I had started, just before I could reply, the porch light of the farm house caught my eye, as well as the silhouette of Brant, with his elbows down on the porch railing, and his hands folded together, just watching me ride.  Chase's voice again distracted me and I looked back at what I was doing.
"That should be good for tonight, you did a great job, Jess! Let's get Duke back to his stall for dinner."

Chase and I walked out of the barn 10 minutes later, but Brant was inside. Chase slapped me on the back and said, "Good job today, kid. See ya bright and early tomorrow." I smiled as he opened my car door for me and I climbed in.
"Thanks for the help today, Chase. I can't believe how much I've been missing this and never even knew it! Chase laughed and shot me a wink as he closed my door behind me. I rode home in silence just recalling the events of the day. I found myself drifting back to that look Brant had given me today, and silently wished that it was actually me he was longing for. I shook my head at the thought as I pulled into my driveway. As I made my way into the house I could hear the tv and my parents voices coming from the living room. They must have heard the door close behind me because I heard my mom call for me. I walked to the entrance of the family room.

"Yeah what's up, I'm home."

"How was work today?", My Dad asked.

"It was really fun, got back on a horse today."

"That's great!", my mom added. You loved it when you were younger, we just couldn't afford the lessons anymore at the time"

"Yeah, I know. Hey by the way, could you run out to the phone store for me and grab me an upgrade? My phone died today."

"Sure, I'll stop after work.

With that I said goodnight to them both and headed upstairs for a shower and bed. As I lay under my covers, I said a few prayers for Brant, and slowly drifted off to the memory of the look on his face from earlier that day...