These Violent Delights

Chapter 21: Four Weeks & Five Days

The sound of heavy breathing pulled you from sleep.

You yawned and tugged the comforter under your chin, briefly opening your eyes as you snuggled into the pillow. It was dark in here, and in your drowsiness, you assumed you were in your quarters. But as the breathing picked up, reluctantly drawing you into awareness, you realized that this bed felt different. When you stretched out your legs, you found you had endless space, the sheets were silky smooth against your skin, and the mattress felt firmer than the one in your quarters. It even smelled differently, with a hint of musk and something deep and rich and so, so familiar...

Then it hit you. You were in the Supreme Leader's bed.

This realization didn't alarm you like it should. It merely confused you. The last thing you remembered was his hand on your face, touching you so tenderly as you drifted off to sleep. A quick tug on the fabric wrapped around your body told you that you were still in the hospital gown, but you had no recollection of leaving the medbay.

You sat up and pulled the comforter to your chest, squinting for any signs of Kylo, but the Finalizer wasn't docked above a planet, emitting little-to-no light from the observation glass beside the faint twinkle of the stars. "Kylo?" you whispered over the sound of breathless grunts. "Is that you?"

The breathing continued. After waiting for a response and never getting one, you stiffly got on all fours, climbing to the end of the bed and stretching your hands out to make sure you didn't slide off and fall on your face. "Supreme Leader?" you called out, voice hoarse and dry. "Where are you?"

After a few more explosive exhales and grunts—the grand finale of whatever the fuck he was doing—a light turned on, a very bright light. You sat back on your heels, lifting a hand up to shield your eyes and squinting as the harsh glow flooded the room.

"Good morning," came Kylo's deep, husky voice somewhere to your left.

You scanned the room, your heart stuttering at the sight of him. He was on the floor, looking up at you shirtless and sweaty, leaning back on his palms with his legs sprawled out in front of him. Dark, messy hair hung in his face, thick and curled from sweat, as his chest rose and fell with heavy swells.

You swallowed. "Morning."

Kylo's lip twitched up just a bit as your eyes darted between his face and body. His cocky expression, his calm and confident position—everything about him seemed to be an invitation to drink him in. And that's exactly what you did, starting with admiring the way the light hit the perspiration on his chest and stomach, dripping down his chest as it pooled in the indentations of his abdominal muscles. His happy trail started just below his belly button, dipping out of sight under his gray joggers that hugged his waist and groin. He looked fucking incredible.

When you found his face again, his smirk deepened. "Sleep well?" All you could manage was a nod. "Good." Kylo pushed himself off the floor. As he walked to his desk in the far corner of his room, a bright red claw-foot bathtub positioned against the observation wall caught your eye. It was directly in the middle of the glass, offering a remarkable view of the galaxy.

You bit your lip and looked back at him rubbing a small towel over his face, his back sheening with sweat. He wasn't facing you, but you feared that he could see your reflection in the glass as you watched him, enjoying the way his back muscles flexed with every little movement, the light illuminating the scars littered down his spine...

Flinging the towel over his shoulder, Kylo turned to look at you. "You okay over there, Kitten?"

"Yes," you hurried to say. You slid to the side, pulling your feet from under you. "What were you doing?"

"Sit-ups and push-ups," he answered, swatting his hair out of his face before moving away from his desk.

As you watched him cross the room, a slow smile pulled at your lips. "Do you always work out in the dark like a weirdo?"

"Only when there is a sleeping guest in my bed," he said, not looking at you as he disappeared into his closet. He called out to you as his footsteps faded into the refresher. "Drink the water I put out for you."

As you heard his shower start, a surprising and unwelcome feeling settled in the pit of your stomach. You knew that the Supreme Leader had many prisoners before, and girlfriends and fuck buddies or sex slaves or whatever weird shit he was into, but the idea of him giving this type of attention to someone else made you...envious. With a loud exhale, you fell back into his bed and looked up at the ceiling. Why would I be envious of my captor fucking other people? What is wrong with me?

You laid like this until he was done, not just because you were wallowing in self-hatred that Kylo made you jealous, but because your stomach still felt uneasy. Emotionally, you felt fine, despite almost being taken out by a cup of tea and the devastating revelation that General Organa only saw you as a pawn to get to her son. And even though he had tortured you and just blew up an entire planetary system, you still couldn't find it in your heart to hate him.

But yeah, besides all that? You were fine.

Puffing your cheeks full of air, you blew a piece of hair out of your face and tapped your fingers against your stomach. As you heard him rummaging through the closet, you wondered if this new sense of impassivity came from Kylo's Force-compulsion to take the pain away last night—something you would have never allowed him to do just a few days ago. Something that showed just how comfortable you were getting here, with him.

You knew growing complacent wasn't in your best interest, but you couldn't find it in you to care. You were tired. Tired of running, of fighting, and of being an asset to people who didn't care for you the way you did for them. And you'd be lying if you said that being held last night didn't feel amazing, even if that made you a giant baby. While you had no intention of submitting to the First Order, to Kylo Ren, what if you let him become an asset to you? An abundance of food, comfortable quarters, access to medical care...I mean, as long as I don't fall in love with him, what's the worst that could happen?

Kylo's reprimand pulled you from your thoughts. "You didn't drink the water."

Propping yourself up on your elbows, you looked him up and down. He was cloaked in his usual, striking ensemble of black: a long sleeve, textured tunic, thick belt around his midsection, pants, boots, and heavy robes that touched the floor. You frowned. "Do you wash that outfit every single day, or do you have, like, a million different versions of the exact same stuff?"

Kylo walked around the edge of the bed. "It's armor," is all he offered as he grabbed the water glass and held it out for you. "Take this."

You shot him a sweet smile, taking the water. "Tell me, dear Supreme Leader, how does a cape classify as armorial protection?"

He threw a curt nod toward the cup in your hand. "Drink."

When Kylo didn't go away, your smile faltered; he was waiting to make sure you obeyed. You rolled your eyes. "For star's sake," you muttered before bringing the glass to your lips. After a few sips, you looked up at him. "Happy?"

"Delighted," he said as he turned away, walking across the room.

You waited until he entered his closet again to put the water down. Yawning, you looked out at the black void of space and pulled the blanket over your legs. "Hey, what time is it?"

Kylo called out over the mechanical whir coming from his closet. "Five AM."

"FIVE AM?" you shouted before groaning and falling back in his bed. "Why in the galaxy are you up so early?"

"I'm always up at this time," he said, his footsteps entering the bedroom again.

"But why?"

"To meditate."

"Okay, fine," you grumbled, looking up at the ceiling. "But why in the galaxy am I up so early?"

"You're still healing." His footsteps stopped near the bed. "You slept for eleven hours straight."

"Eleven hours?" you repeated, lifting your head to look at him. He nodded. "Is that because of that thing you did to calm me down?"

"Yes and no." Kylo rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck. "That helped, but ultimately your body is trying to recover. Sleep is the fastest way to do that."

"And how did I get here?"

"I carried you."

You lifted your brows. "All the way from the medbay?"

"Yes."

You shrugged. "Okay."

Kylo stared at you for a moment longer, his expressionless eyes giving away nothing, before turning away from the bed. He strode to the wall of ancient texts and trailed a finger along a row of books, until he stopped and plucked one out. He looked busy reading the back cover, but that didn't stop you from striking up a conversation.

"Soooo..." you started, flipping over to lay on your stomach. You hooked your palms under your chin, propping your head up and swaying your legs back and forth in the air. "When did ya get the tub? It looks nice."

"What tub?"

"That ginormous red thing against the window," you said slowly. "Can't miss it."

After a beat of distracted silence, Kylo glanced over his shoulder, as though he had to see what you were talking about. "Oh." He looked back down at the book, flipping through the pages. "Yesterday."

"Huh." You pursed your lips. "For some reason, you don't strike me as a bath guy, you know? I just can't see it."

"Is that so?" Kylo muttered, preoccupied as he put the book away and crouched down to pull out another one.

"Mhm," you hummed. "I feel like when you're not bathing in your enemy's blood, you're a strict shower-only type of guy. Am I right?"

"Mhm."

You stilled, a slow smile finding your lips. "I am?"

Kylo pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek, opening a small, leather-bound book. "Sure."

"Knew it," you chirped, swinging your legs again with full force. "You're missing out, though. I love baths. They're relaxing. If I can be horizontal and get the job done, why would I want to do it standing up? Showering is just more work than it has to be, in my opinion."

You knew you were having a one-sided conversation, but you didn't care. Thanks to his little mind trick, you felt better than you had in years, and this civil, human interaction was better than being alone in your quarters. You weren't even discouraged when Kylo gave you another non-committal mhm.

"But it's been forever since I've taken a bath. Say what you will about the Resistance, but the communal hot springs were awesome." You sighed. "Hey, how long have I been here, anyways?"

"It's been nine hours since I moved you from the medbay," he said, his eyes still glued to the book.

"No, I mean, here, on the Finalizer."

Kylo became absorbed in one of the pages, bringing the book closer to his face and reading with intense focus. You sighed again, a pleasant exhale that went on forever until you morphed it into a tune. Not to annoy him, you were just in a humming mood. A good mood—something that he finally caught onto. His whole body tensing, Kylo slowly turned his head toward you, eyes wandering to your legs swaying back and forth, then finally settling on your face. He was looking at you like a Wookiee had spawned in his bed.

"What?" you asked, abruptly stopping your legs. "What's wrong?"

"You're happy."

"Um..." You aimlessly glanced around the room before looking back at him. "Yeah, so?"

"Why are you happy?"

"I dunno, I just am." You cocked your head to the side. "Is that a bad thing?"

"No." Kylo closed the book in his hands without looking at it. "It's an odd thing."

"Not really," you said, moving your legs again. "Not when you planted something in my head to make me nicer."

Kylo let out a light scoff, looking at the shelf to put the book away. "I did not make you nicer."

"Then what did ya do?"

"I took the edge off your pain." Trailing his finger across a row of texts, Kylo picked one out and looked down at it. "That's all."

"Huh." You paused. "So, you gonna answer my question or what?"

"You've been on the Finalizer for four weeks and five days," he murmured, swiftly flipping through the pages.

"And there's been no word from the Resistance since the cute, little family reunion in my head?"

He gave a shake of his head. "No."

"Boring," you groaned. "So, what's next?

"You will stay here while I tend to my duties on the bridge."

Your lip tugged down. "No, I meant—in the medbay, you said we were going to have a conversation about what's to come." You waited until he looked at you to continue. "So...what's next?"

With one hand, Kylo pinched the spine closed. "Today, you rest and recover. Tomorrow, we leave for Canto Bight."

"Canto Bight, like on Cantonica?" you asked, and Kylo nodded as he walked to the bed. You sat up excitedly. "As in the single-handedly most wealthy and extravagant planet in the whole universe?"

"Unfortunately." He held out the book for you to take. "Here, you might enjoy this."

Getting on your knees, you grabbed it from him and looked down, trailing your fingers across the unmarked cover. It was small but heavy, filled with yellowing, cream-colored paper bound together with dark, aging leather. The distinct smell of dust and ink surrounded you as you flipped through the pages, and that's when you noticed the text wasn't printed, it was handwritten. You brought it closer to your face, trying to make out some of the more illegible scribbles.

"What is this?"

"In your dreamscape, you told me you had always wanted to visit Naboo." When you quizzically looked up at him, he added, "Correct?"

You nodded. "Yeah, I saw holomagazines about it as a kid. It looks amazing."

"Well, that's my grandmother's diary," Kylo said, jutting his chin toward your hands. "She wrote in it almost every year of her life, including when she served Naboo. Her entries will offer a perspective unseen anywhere else."

"Wait a minute. This...this is Queen Amidala's diary?" you said, holding it out for him. "Her actual diary?"

"Yes."

You swallowed and looked down at it, the journal suddenly feeling too important to be in your hands. You were holding an amazing piece of history, something that you didn't feel worthy to even set your eyes on, let alone have access to.

"Wow," you breathed. You slowly scanned through the pages. "I...I can't believe I'm looking at this right now. I mean...why are you letting me see this?"

Kylo shifted in agitation. "If you don't want—"

"Wait, no, I do," you said quickly, snapping your gaze to him. "I didn't mean it like that. I meant...you trust me with this? Something as important and personal as this?"

He cocked one brow. "Are you going to destroy it just to spite me?" You shook your head no. "Then yes." As Kylo turned around to head to the door, you sifted through the pages some more. "Hungry?"

"Um..." you started, unable to articulate a response as you looked down at a piece of royal history in your hands. After turning the pages and admiring the Queen's pretty handwriting, you finally gave him a distracted mutter. "No, thanks."

Kylo spoke as he exited the room. "Broth, then."

"Yeah, sure, whatever," you mumbled, delicately trailing a finger over the page you were on. It was a deeply personal entry about someone named Ani, full of Padme's conflict about sharing their first kiss. You called out to Kylo over the sound of clinking silverware from the kitchen. "Hey, who's Ani?"

He responded as he returned, bowl in hand. "Anakin Skywalker."

Your jaw dropped. "Darth Vader was once called Ani?"

"Yes," he said, stopping at the edge of the bed as he held out the steaming bowl for you to take. "Broth, Kitten."

You carefully set the diary down and swung your legs off the side of the bed, taking a moment to process that someone so cruel and terrifying once had such a nonthreatening, cutesy nickname. "Huh," you mused, stretching your hands to grab the bowl from him. He was hovering above you, probably waiting for you to take a sip, but you were too distracted with your latest epiphany. "Wait a minute...if your grandmother was a queen, wouldn't that make you a prince?"

Something flashed across his face. If you didn't know any better, you'd say it was discomfort. "Potentially."

Your mouth dropped. "The prince of Naboo?"

"As I said, potentially. They elect their monarchs." He hesitated. "But Prince of Alderaan, yes. If it still existed."

You just looked up at him, clutching your little cup of broth as it clicked for you as to why this man had such a big-ass ego. "Prince of Alderaan, potentially Prince of Naboo, grandson of Darth Vader and Queen Amidala, niece of Luke Skywalker, son of Princess Leia and the infamous smuggler Han Solo, crowned the Supreme Leader and the Master of the Knights of Ren...holy fuck, that's a lot of titles." You tilted your head to the side, regarding him curiously. "I bet you feel important. Do you feel important?"

He didn't respond right away, his eyes slowly dragging the length of your face as though he were assessing whether he wanted to share the truth or not. "I used to," he eventually said, tone flat. He nodded toward the bowl in your hands. "Drink."

You didn't, gawking at him instead. "Why in the universe would you not make everyone call you Prince Kylo? Prince Ren? Prince Supreme Leader? Prince anything?" you asked, truly baffled. "If I were a princess, I'd make everyone call me that."

"I know you would." He frowned. "Royal titles are meaningless, as are thrones or anything associated with prestige. They are only props of power. Not real power."

"Ah." You pursed your lips. "So that's why you don't sit on that thing. You prefer to express your importance by swinging around your sparkly lightsaber instead."

"Precisely," he deadpanned, then pointed to your lap. "Now, drink."

You looked down, frowning when the hot steam of the broth hit you in the face. "Oh, joy," you muttered lifelessly. "I forgot about you." You peeked back up at him. "What if it makes me sick? My stomach still feels weird."

"Anything will make your stomach feel weird after cyanoxis, but you still need nutrients."

You pouted. "Do I have to?"

His eye twitched. "Yes."

"Fine," came your dejected mutter. You took a quick gulp to get it over with. When the warm, salty liquid slid down your throat, you pressed your lips together in a hard line. "Mmm," you hummed, rigidly dropping the bowl to your lap. "Delicious."

"Finish it," he demanded, moving around the bed toward his closet again. "You need to rebuild your strength."

You looked at the bowl and grimaced, stomach already gurgling at the idea of drinking the whole thing, and put it on the bedside table. "I will when I can. I'm still queasy."

"Fine," Kylo said as he re-emerged from the closet. He had his lightsaber in one hand and his helmet in the other. "The doctor will be here soon."

"Kay." You yawned. "Where ya going?"

"The bridge," he said, heading for the exit. As he passed by the bed, he paused and turned to you. "Do you...do you feel any better?"

"Yeah, as far as I can tell."

With another nod, he trailed his eyes the length of your body. He stepped closer to you, setting his gaze on your face. "You look better."

"Thanks."

Silence ensued. You shifted, suddenly hyper-aware of your position. You felt exposed, sitting on the edge of his bed with your legs slightly splayed open, the gown only covering you mid-thigh. He was so imposing in his height, towering over you as you looked up at him, but it didn't feel threatening. Not anymore. You couldn't tell if that was an unintentional effect of the Force-compulsion he placed over you last night, or if it was because of the connection you still felt with him. Either way, it wasn't exactly...ideal. You broke eye contact.

"I'll be back in a few hours to check on you," he said, putting his mask over his head with one hand. Once the vocoder clicked into place, his voice changed, deepening into that modified rumble. He stepped forward, one hand curling around his lightsaber and jabbed a finger in your face. You felt the overwhelming urge to bite it, just for fun, but his tone of voice made it very clear he wasn't in the mood for your antics. "Do not antagonize my knights again. If you need me, you ask them to call for me. Understood?"

You rolled your eyes and leaned back on your palms. "Yes, sir."

"Good girl."

You bit your tongue as Kylo walked away from you. You didn't trust yourself to respond in any capacity, not when those two little words made your stomach flip with excitement. Not when you felt a pang of desire shoot between your legs. And as you watched him leave, lust, anger, frustration, and resentment hung in the air. Emphasis on lust. You eyed the bathtub. I wonder how good the water pressure is in that thing?

Glancing at Kylo as he opened the doors to his quarters, you gently pushed yourself off his bed and stood up—and immediately lost your balance. You blinked, looking down and realizing the loud sound you just heard was your ass falling to the floor. Your brows creased and your head spun. How the fuck did this happen? You had felt fine just moments before—still queasy but not dizzy—and you had no idea that your legs weren't working.

You tried to figure out how to get on your feet, but Kylo swiftly returned to the room, hooking his arms under yours and hoisting you up. "Come on," he said, leaning you against the bed.

The movement made your head swim. You closed your eyes and gripped the edge of the mattress, sucking down a deep breath as his hands gripped your shoulders. You opened one eye at him. "Did I...did I just fall off your bed?"

"Yes."

You groaned. "That's embarrassing."

"Mildly."

You batted his hands away, scowling at him. "Thanks. I got it from here."

"Do you?"

"Mhm."

Kylo took a step back. "Show me."

You tried to stand up again. You instantly had to sit back down. "Fucking Ava," you said with a groan. Putting your head between your legs, you slammed your eyes shut. "If I could walk, I'd kill her."

"I already did that," Kylo mused as you heard his footsteps pound across the floor.

You frowned. "Well, I'd kill her again."

A solid thud caught your attention, making your temples pound even more. You lifted your head as much as possible to see Kylo hovering above his desk. He had removed his helmet and placed it on the weird shrine with the ashes and burnt thing, and was now opening his drawer. After digging around for a moment, he grabbed a commlink and held it to his mouth. "Send all vital communication to my personal device. Everything else goes to the Supreme Council."

A voice immediately squealed on the other line. "Yes, sir!"

Kylo dropped it back into the drawer and slammed it closed. Without looking at you, he moved to the bathtub and pressed a few buttons on the keypad, sending water rushing from the faucet.

You gripped your stomach and winced. "What are you doing?"

"Preparing your bath."

You eyed him as he approached you. "I thought you had to work."

"I do," he said, holding his hand out for you to take. "Come."

You looked down at his hand, then over at the tub filling up with water. You wanted to take a bath, but the last time Kylo Ren got you partially naked, you begged him to make you come, and you weren't sure you were strong enough to notmake an ass out of yourself again.

"Fine." He dropped his hands, turning away from you. "The doctor will help you bathe, then."

Right on cue, there was a knock at the front, and you listened as Kylo crossed his quarters to retrieve his guest. They exchanged pleasantries—well, the doctor sounded pleasant—and you struggled to eavesdrop. The man's voice was low and soothing as he asked Kylo about one of the wounds he had treated. As always, the Supreme Leader gave him short, one-word answers, stopping outside the bedroom to let him pass and walk through the door.

"Hey there, honey," the doctor greeted, walking over to you to crouch by the side of the bed. He looked up at you with a face full of concern. "How do you feel?"

You blinked at his tenderness. You had yet to meet anyone genuinely kind on the Finalizer—the last person you thought was nice poisoned your ass—nor had you ever seen a man look so pretty. He was strikingly handsome, with bright, honey-colored eyes and smooth, pale skin. Men with blonde hair weren't usually your type, but something about him felt magnetic, deeply seductive and—

Kylo cleared his throat.

You shifted, looking over the doctor's head to see the Supreme Leader watching you from the doorframe. The intensity of his gaze as he walked into the bedroom flustered you, and you swiftly returned your attention to your visitor. "I've been better," you said, wrapping your arms around yourself. "But I'm fine."

"Good," he said as he turned to the satchel by his side. He opened it to retrieve his datapad. "I'm Dr. Cullen, but you can call me Carlisle. And you must be..." he said, looking down at his datapad and frowning. "Prisoner M421. Huh. It shows that you've been in the medbay quite a few times, but your information from intake didn't transfer over. Perhaps—"

"She went straight to interrogation after intake, Doctor," Kylo interjected from across the room. When you looked at him, he was settled against his desk, his arms across his chest and ankles crossed. Still watching you like a hawk. "She never underwent her initial medical exam."

"Ah, thank you, Supreme Leader," Carlisle said, nodding at Kylo over his shoulder before looking back at you. "Depending on how you feel, we can get a few of the questions out of the way during our exam? Perhaps, just the basics?"

You shrugged. "Sure."

Carlisle's questions and check-up didn't take long. First, he tackled the problem at hand—your nausea and lack of coordination—giving an injection to help balance your equilibrium and remedy the queasiness. He then used various medical instruments that looked like torture devices to assess your recovery from the cyanoxis while simultaneously getting a history for your medical file. It was brief since you hadn't had access to healthcare for most of your life, and by the time he was manually checking the lymph nodes in your neck, he was almost done with his questions.

"Okay, two more," he murmured, probing the flesh below your jaw. "Are you sexually active?"

"Yep."

"Great. Day of last period?" he asked, dropping his hands to pick up his datapad. "Estimate is fine."

"Hm, I don't know..." you started, tilting your head to the side to rub at your neck. You tried to remember the last time you had your period, but couldn't, and that's when it dawned on you that it had been over a month since you'd been here, and you hadn't bled yet. "I...I should have had it by now," you said, voice small and weak.

Carlisle was quiet for a moment. "And I'm assuming you aren't trying for a child?"

You shook your head no. You swallowed the lump in your throat but found it didn't ease the pressure. Feeling like you were going to be sick, you looked down at your hands, and Carlisle reached out to grab one.

"Hey, it's okay," he soothed, pulling your terrified eyes to his. "It is very common for menstrual cycles to stop completely while under immense physical and psychological stress. Hormones are a tricky, sensitive thing, even when you aren't being held captive. A quick test will ease all your worries."

All you could do was nod. You knew stress could impact your cycle, but there were other reasons why you could have missed your period...such as the way that Drox ravaged you the morning you were taken. Images from your raunchy session with him flashed in your mind, and as you remembered that he finished inside of you, the sound of Kylo shuffling against the desk broke your concentration.

You glanced at him, but wished you didn't. He was watching you with intense eyes, his posture stiffening as his arms pinned across his chest grew taut, his jaw locking and nostrils flaring. As though he were just in your mind, picking apart the way Drox's hands and lips and tongue had explored every inch of your body before fucking you until you couldn't walk. At first, you felt shame, but then you remembered this man had no right to judge or be upset with you. You didn't owe him an explanation or apology. It was none of the Supreme Leader's business what you did with your partner the day he decided to kidnap you and keep you like a fucking pet.

As the tension mounted between you two, Carlisle glanced at Kylo, then back to you. Seeing how he shifted his weight on the balls of his feet and cleared his throat, even he could feel the animosity in the room. "Before you take the test, do you have any idea of the last time you had penetrative sexual intercourse? Again, estimate is fine."

With your lip twitching up, defiance poured from you as you glared at your captor and confidently said, "Four weeks and five days."

Kylo pressed his lips together and pushed himself off the desk. With his arms inflated by his side and shoulders tense, he tore through the living area to get to his front doors. A lick of victory surged through you. If very vividly, and very loudly thinking about your sexual experiences with Drox chased your captor away, you would gladly play it in your head like a holodrama at all times of the day. You couldn't help but deepen your smile as he left his chambers.

Sucker.