These Violent Delights

Chapter 65: Me Too

Your happy place was much more beautiful in real life than in your dreams.

Besides the soft whispers of the wind and the birds chirping their songs, it was quiet by the emerald green lake at Vader's Temple. The tall grass tickled your bare arms and legs as you tugged down the white and yellow sundress that Kylo imported from Naboo. Bursts of color swayed all around you from the blooming wildflowers, filling the air with a subtle sweetness akin to lavender and honey. In your peripherals, you could see the decrepit pyramidal temple atop the hillside, sitting at the base of Coruscant's colossal mountain range with the Night Buzzard docked next to it.

And with the crystal pendant beside you, you couldn't only see the pyramid, you could feel it.

Which meant it worked. Just being near the vergence beneath the structure recharged the crystal and brought it back to life. When you first stepped off the shuttle, you felt a sense of relief, and you thought Kylo would, too. All you had to do was put the necklace on, and there would be the awakening. You would get your powers back, just like he wanted. But instead, it had been two hours since you two walked down the hill and took a seat by the lake, and there had been little to no conversation. You had been enjoying the scenery and beauty the Steadfast couldn't offer, but Kylo? He was distracted and sullen.

You chanced another glance at him. He was looking out at the lake, his black attire a jarring contrast to the vividity of the meadow. Still ruminating. Still brooding. With a small sigh, you nudged him with your elbow and tried to make small talk again.

"Did this area always look this pretty when we were kids?"

"Yes." His lip twitched down, idle fingers tugging at the grass below him. "Such a peaceful place for such atrocities."

You kept your eyes on him but stayed quiet. You knew he was talking about how Luke stole the Force from you here when you were just a little girl. The Jedi had erased the memory from you—apparently, it had caused you a great deal of pain—but the Supreme Leader knew what happened. He said he saw it in a vision while reaching out to his grandfather and was mortified at what you endured. You knew that was partly why he was so quiet now, but his mood had been all over the place since your birthday party last night.

Upon discovering that Vicrul had reconstructed your pendant, he became crazed, passionately insistent. But over the course of the night, while both of you sat in bed to review the translation of the Book of Sith, Kylo's excitement waned into somber desperation.

"What is it?" you had asked, as he stopped reading the file to pace in your quarters. But you doubted he even realized you had spoken. "Kylo? What's going on?"

He replied without stopping. "All of this is my fault. I need to return what I took from you. I need to. If the vergence on Coruscant doesn't work, I will return to Exegol if I have to. I will do whatever it takes."

You did everything you could to talk him down, to tell him that none of this was his fault. It could be seen as Palpatine's fault for even devising such powerful artifacts in the first place, or your mother's for putting the pendant on, or the fucking universe for deciding that you were destined to be a dyad in the Force. Either way, Skywalker was the only culprit responsible for stealing your powers. Not Kylo. But he wouldn't listen, not even when you assured him that you understood why he didn't trust his uncle on Batuu when he had tried to pass off the pendant. And you told him that you refused to take it when Leia tried to give it to you on Crait. Alas, nothing could coax him back to bed, and you weren't sure he even slept last night.

You fell asleep without him next to you and woke up to find him sitting in the kitchen, his hands wrapped around a cup of black coffee. Unmoving and unblinking, he was so deep in thought, he didn't notice you were there.