These Violent Delights

Chapter 4: Obsession

The Supreme Leader sat perfectly still at his desk. 

He was meditating behind his eyelids, floating in a serene lake as crickets chirped in the darkness. The stars and moon shone above him, reflecting an icy mirage atop the water's surface. The Force flowed through him, vibrating the very cells in his body and breathing life into him. A soft wind caressed his face, tickling—

Yeah, no. Fuck this shit. Kylo opened his eyes and rolled his shoulders. He didn't feel like floating in a twinkling lake today. He felt like snapping someone's fucking neck. Pushing himself off the chair, the Supreme Leader began pacing back and forth, desperate to run from the chaos blooming inside of him. But his efforts wouldn't shake this rage he felt. Nothing would. He woke up with it, trained with it, and went to bed with it. It kept him up at night. It stopped him from eating his meals. It stopped him from thinking straight, from being in control.

All because of her.

Leather stretched over his knuckles as his hands curled into fists. It had only worsened after their first interrogation six days ago, each day a massive test and subsequent failure of his self-control. He had tried to hide it from his officers and knights, but those efforts, too, had proven to be fruitless. It had only been three days into M421's capture when his inability to kill her sent him into a fit of rage, driving him to take his frustrations out on a control panel—and Lieutenant Mitaka's throat.

Since then, what had happened was exactly what he had aimed to avoid: First Order personnel huddled together in every sector of the Finalizer, whispering about the return of the infamous, imbalanced Kylo Ren.

Did you see how Mitaka flew into his hand like he was weightless? It was crazy!

Yeah, but did you see how he threw Hux across the bridge just for standing in his way?

Really? I thought it was because the Resistance escaped D'Qar, right?

No, that was days ago. This time, Hux wasn't even speaking to him, and poof—he went soaring!

That's nothing. Did you see how he pushed a Stormtrooper off Hangar Six? Rumor is he's still floating around in space!

Kriff. So it's true, isn't it? The old Kylo Ren is back.

Obviously. The random destroyed-by-a-lightsaber equipment says it all.

But I don't understand; he's been so calm since Snoke died. What made him lose his mind this time?

Who knows, but I give us another three days—tops—before he officially snaps and kills us all.

A deep rumble vibrated in his chest. Agony, Kylo was in fucking agony. This pent-up aggression and hatred and lust had him bursting at the seams with no release in sight. No relief, just pain. He hated her for doing this to him, and yet, he still couldn't kill her. He felt physical pain when he was away from her, but being in her presence was torturous and cruel. He couldn't take it anymore.

Abruptly spinning around, Kylo slammed his fist into the first thing he saw. The first punch sent the poor, unsuspecting protocol droid tumbling backward—the second strike sent its head flying across the room. Kylo swooped down to pick up the sparking torso, just to slam it back onto the floor over and over again, pulverizing it to bits. When he was satisfied with its dismembered body, he snatched up its squawking and malfunctioning head and propelled it into the closest wall. Then he laid into it, grunting with each swing of his arm as he caved in its mechanical face until it was nothing but a collapsed piece of metal.

Grabbing his helmet, Kylo tore out of his room, the droid crunching below his boots as he strode away from the mess he had made. The doors slid open as he exited his chambers, and once he made it down his private corridor, two of his 709th Legion Stormtroopers stepped in sync behind him. He excused them with an aggressive flick of his hand; the Supreme Leader did not need any more eyes on him as he unraveled. All because of a Resistance fighter. The First Order's enemy. His enemy.

Kylo stalked through the Finalizer's military sector, evoking fear in those who dared stay in his line of sight. He could feel their fear as though it was his own, almost taste it, just as bitter and sharp on his tongue as it was putrid and dense as it hung in the air. Those that didn't see his tall, menacing frame in time were forced to jump out of the way, spewing their salutations while silently praying their greetings wouldn't be the last words they'd get to speak.

He didn't acknowledge them. Not when he didn't care to be the Supreme Leader or even the man they thought had returned—the temperamental Kylo Ren, the brutal Jedi killer, the merciless, dark Force-user full of untamed, poorly-channeled power. No. Right now, Kylo was just a man trying to run away from the thoughts inside his head. Only to find he couldn't.

There was no escaping it, no escaping her, even though he wanted nothing to do with the useless Prisoner M421. And she was useless—the daily mind probes offered nothing he hadn't already collected from their initial interrogation. Just as he had suspected, she knew nothing of the crystal, and her intel on D'Qar was redundant after the Order had ransacked their base. General Organa's mention of Exegol as Luke's place of exile hadn't provided him with anything of use—most notably, the reason why she had initially wanted to send the girl to retrieve the Jedi. Sending his knights, Hux and four thousand Stormtroopers to that barren hellhole had only wasted his time and resources, making him even more frustrated with his prisoner for offering him fucking nothing.

And yet, he wanted her. Still. Besides his actual infatuation with her, the thing that drove him to the brink of insanity was not knowing why he was so infatuated. He thought maybe she was Force-sensitive, but he was met with stillness even in the most hidden parts of her. And the deeper he searched, to no avail, the more livid he became. This rage pushed him forward through the lifeless corridors of the Finalizer, his mind fixated on finding a solution.

I must question her again. There has to be something I'm missing.

Pivoting to the right, it only took Kylo moments to reach the interrogation room. Unsurprisingly. He wouldn't even deny that his feet had carried him in her direction the second he left his quarters. He was an addict, and she was his fix—that was the real reason why he went to her every day. She was confused at his unproductive visits, he sensed it, but she sure as hell didn't suspect it was because he wanted to be near her, and that's all that mattered.

When the Supreme Leader entered the prisoner's wing, the Stormtroopers standing guard stood at attention. "Sir!"

Kylo walked right past them and through the blast doors. The moment he saw her, the tightness in his chest relaxed. She was in the same upright, restrained position with her head hanging low. Sleeping or just dejected, he didn't know. He approached her and waited.

Ah. She was awake. The disgust rolling off of her gave it away. "Good morning, Prisoner M421." No response. His fingers twitched behind his back. "Look at me."

"Fuck off."

"That's not a very nice thing to say to your visitor."

"Aw, I'm sorry," she mocked, peeking up at his mask. "What I meant to say is...I hope you eat shit and die, in no particular order."

Kylo rolled his shoulders. "I'll let that slide, seeing as I need something from you today."

"What else could you possibly want from me, Jabba? I mean, seriously. I don't have anything to give you."

"Tell me in your own words what your General told you about Exegol."

"This again?" she said, knocking the back of her head against the interrogation chair. She looked up at the ceiling as she muttered to herself. "Dear J.J. or God or the Force or whoever is the creator of all space and time, please send a single meteorite to take my miserable ass out." She paused for a moment. "Amen."

Under his mask, Kylo's eye twitched. "That's not how the Force works."

"I couldn't care less." Tilting her head forward, she gave him a mocking smile. "Now, please leave me alone and go acquaint yourself with a fork and electrical outlet. I heard sticking the prongs through the little slits makes for a real good time."

"You're awfully cranky today," Kylo mused, walking closer to her. "Perhaps the little pet needs a walk?"

"And you're a grown-ass man wearing a cape," she said, narrowing her eyes as he stopped in front of her. "Rather bold of you to pass out insults the way you do, dontcha think?"

"Insult?" he asked, bringing a hand to brush a hair from her face. "Calling you little pet isn't an insult. It's what you are."

She jolted away from his hand. "Don't touch me, Jabba."

Kylo's jaw clenched. "You will call me by my name."

"Okay then." A slow, smug smile touched her lips. "Ben."

The Supreme Leader tensed, his shoulders rising with a swift inhale. "Tell me, Kitten, why did my mother entrust you—a useless little fool—with Luke Skywalker's location?"

Her face scrunched up in disgust. "Did you just call me kitten?"

"Answer me."

She groaned. "As I said the last time you poked around my head, it was like, three o'clock in the morning, and we were both a little drunk. She just wanted someone to talk to."

"No," Kylo insisted with a single shake of his head. "She wanted you, in particular, to know about Luke's position on Exegol. She wanted you to go to him. Why?"

"For star's sake, Jabba, I already told you—she didn't disclose why she wanted to send me there, okay? She said it was some top-secret shit that I wouldn't be informed of until arriving on Exegol, but as you can fucking see, the mission never happened. So, if you would be so kind, just kill me already or bring me back to my team. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of you."

Kylo was silent as he simmered in his rage. "Look at you. You're pathetic."

Her eyes narrowed into slits. "Look at you, the crow calling the raven black."

"You're so ignorant," Kylo murmured, "so desperate to return to a team that's happy you're gone."

"That's not—"

"Yes," he flared, raising his voice. "All of them hate you—Finn, Poe, Drox, especially Drox."

His prisoner matched his tone. "You don't know a damn thing about Drox."

Oh, but I do, Kylo fumed to himself as he tilted his head left and right to crack his neck. He didn't know the scumbag even existed six days ago, but then this little pain in the ass entered his life, and he found out what he needed to know. A Resistance fighter on her special units team, Drox was an unimpressive pilot, and when he wasn't too drunk to walk, he sought out the company of thieves, gamblers, and prostitutes. The loser was a low life, a degenerate—which was why M421 probably liked him—and above all, he was officially on Kylo's shit list.

He took a step closer to her. "I know he left you to fend for yourself the night I captured you."

She clamped her jaw shut, looking away. Kylo felt the sadness seeping from her every pore. She would never say it aloud when her walls were up, but Drox leaving her behind stung. She felt abandoned all over again.

"He would have saved me if he could," she lied, tears forming in her eyes. "All of them would have."

"No, Kitten," he said softly. "No one could have saved you from me. No one will save you from me."

And then—she erupted. "I'm not a kitten! Shut up, just SHUT UP!"

Kylo sighed. "The truth hurts, I know."

Her penetrative glare was full of hatred. "Why won't you just kill me?"

Kylo didn't answer, not because he wanted to get under her skin, but because he honestly didn't have one. Her bottom lip trembled, and as the silence expanded, she hung her head to hide her face. During their first interrogation, Kylo had to force her to confront her emotions, but now she could barely contain them. Poor pet.

"Please go away," she whispered. "I don't have it in me to fight right now."

Kylo's pulse quickened. In her sadness, he also sensed defeat. Submission. And with her walls down, he could feel her more than ever. That spark within her, that pull that beckoned him, drawing him in and making him teeter on the edge of madness...

Kylo swallowed thickly. "Do you...do you want out of your restraints?"

She didn't raise her head, but she nodded, and with a wave of his hands, the cuffs unshackled themselves. Once her feet hit the floor, Kylo stepped back, giving her room to stretch. He wanted to go to her, but he also wanted to avoid a swift kick to the balls.

He cleared his throat. "That better?"

"Yes, thank you," she said slowly, suspiciously. She gestured at the chair behind her. "This thing is torture."

"That's by design."

"I figured," she muttered, wrapping her arms around her chest. "So, now what?"

"You're free to leave." Her mouth opened, forming a little o, and Kylo could tell she was wondering if he was speaking the truth. He clarified for her. "Once you submit to me and the First Order."

He blinked, and suddenly, M421 lunged. Screaming at the top of her lungs, she lashed out at his torso, hitting him with quick, sloppy strikes as his chest rose and fell with a relaxed, unfazed effort. It wasn't until she lost her balance that Kylo collected her hands to stop the attack. He waited for her to look up at him before speaking. "Are you quite finished?"

She didn't respond, only staring at him with eyes full of hate. A single tear rolled down her face. From inside her mind, Kylo heard, I fucking hate you.

He tightened his grip on her. "I can tell."

"Let go of me, Jabba."

Kylo gave a mocking sigh. "Poor little pet, so desperate to get out of her cage."

With a yank, she pulled herself free from his grip and stumbled backward. Kylo knew she was pushed to her limit, but he wasn't expecting the full-on breakdown that followed. Tears gushed from her eyes, her whole body wracking with sobs so intense, she started to sway on her feet. The smallest, tiniest thread of guilt shot through him at the sight of her. The tiniest. But it was enough to urge him closer, and he reached out just as she started to collapse. When she didn't try to pull her wrists away from his grasp, the Supreme Leader felt his heart skip a beat. He hushed her, closing the space between them. "Submit to me, and I will take you away from here."

She clutched onto his arms as she looked up at his mask. "Take, take me where?"

Kylo's cold, dead heart beat just a little faster at the softness in her tone. So sweet, so pure. So hopeful. She sniffled as she tried to catch her breath, and he immediately wanted to swoop her up and hold her. Take care of her. Because he was slipping, losing all sense of self-control...

"To my quarters," he rasped. "You will be comfortable there."

The sniffling stopped, and her body stilled against him. For one sweet moment, Kylo thought she had caved—but then she pulled away from him. "No, I fucking hate you. Get away from me!"

The revulsion pouring from her felt like a slap to the face. "Fine," he spat through a clenched jaw. "Stay in your cage, Kitten."

He didn't stay to hear her snarky retort or to see her sneering face; he could feel her hatred all the same. He blew through the doors, barking orders at the Stormtroopers standing guard. "Restrain her."

"Yes, sir!"

The Supreme Leader stalked through the interrogation hall and into the turbolift. Anger flowed through his veins, devouring him as he stripped off his mask. He stared down at the way it trembled in his hands, warmth spreading across his neck and climbing up to his cheeks. He should have never asked her to come to his quarters. It showed her that he was a fool, a weak fool. Seeing her made him unpredictable—but how could he combat that if he couldn't stay the fuck away?

With a rough exhale, Kylo blew through the turbolift doors the moment they opened. He was already halfway down the corridor when General Hux spawned out of fucking nowhere, trotting after him like a dog.

"Supreme Leader, I've been trying to reach you about this week's assignment on Exegol. If—"

Kylo spoke through gritted teeth. "Did you find anything that could lead us to Skywalker?"

"Well, no, but—"

"Then it can wait."

Hux let out a tight exhale. "Fine, Ren, but let's at least discuss the upcoming test of Starkiller, which is—"

"A topic we can discuss at tomorrow's Supreme Council," Kylo interrupted, pausing for a moment to allow the security system to scan his face. Once the doors opened to his private corridor, he strode through, leaving the fuming General Hux behind.

But he didn't care. He didn't have the time to care. Even as Hux began pounding on the doors, Kylo walked faster toward his quarters. He tore through the main area to get to his bedroom, veering to the left to reach the desk positioned against the observation wall. After setting his mask down and slipping off his gloves, he pivoted toward his grandfather's helmet, charred and decayed as it sat atop a shrine of ashes—the ashes of the Supreme Leader's enemies—and touched it with his bare hand. The Force vibrated deep within him, telling him the attempt at reaching the Other World was working, and Kylo pulled in a deep, grounding breath.

"Grandfather, I need your guidance."

Chills enveloped him. His whole body buzzed with a deep, powerful energy, originating in the pads of his fingertips and weaving all the way up his arm until it reached his chest. This Force energy from the Other World expanded within him, filling his mind with the voices of the dead.

Energy, energy, energy...

Don't give in, give in, give in...

The light, it beckons, beckons, beckons...

Kylo forced them out of his head, his grip on the helmet tightening. "Grandfather—the girl, she calls to me. It's impeding everything I have worked for to honor your vision." He held his breath as he waited for that spark of recognition, that spark that told him his grandfather was listening. The moment he felt it, the words spilled out of his mouth faster than he could control. "I know she's a distraction, but I can't dispose of her. Please, tell me, what does this mean? What is her importance to me, to my mother? To Luke? I need to know. I cannot live like this, grandfather. I cannot."

The Supreme Leader waited. Snoke's voice swirled around him, trying to taunt him like the other bitter Sith Lords desperate to attach themselves to a living body. Dead, tortured souls did love their company. But they could fuck right off; he needed his grandfather to come through, and he needed him now.

It was different every time he meditated; sometimes, he heard a clear voice in his head. Other times it was just a faint echo, like someone speaking from the bottom of a deep well. But this time, the response was a voice he didn't recognize, although it still felt like his grandfather. It was the same Force signature, strong and powerful and domineering, and the hair on the back of his neck rose.

The answers you seek...are hidden below...

He waited for more, but that was it. Agitation flared under his skin. "Tell me where to find the answers, grandfather, tell me—"

Below the surface...

"Below what surface? What do—"

Look beneath, and you will know...you will know...

With blaring heat nipping at his fingertips, the Force-connection closed.

"FUCK!" Kylo yelled, slamming his fist into the wall. Knuckles aching and chest heaving, he turned away to head to the refresher. The Force, and his grandfather, didn't give him any guidance—if anything, things were less clear than they were before. What was clear was he needed to take another cold shower after seeing M421.

The moment he was in his refresher, the Supreme Leader ripped off his robes, letting them crumple to the floor. Next, he yanked off his belt and tunic. He was tugging the zipper of his pants down when he felt his datapad vibrate in his pocket. He hesitated, contemplating whether to ignore it until after his shower. His need was growing, literally, and all he could think about was stroking himself while thinking about her.

With an agitated huff, Kylo resumed taking his pants off. Whatever it is, it can wait. But then his datapad buzzed again. Cursing to himself, he shoved a hand in his pocket to grab the device.

He stilled. There was only one reason his knights would go to that disorderly planet: to visit the unmarked, hole-in-the-wall pleasure house they frequented for release. He responded with a quick affirmative message before rushing to get redressed. Usually, the Supreme Leader wouldn't join unless he was already with them, but after the week he had...visiting Rishi could be the solution he had been seeking all along.