These Violent Delights

Chapter 24: A Stupid Fucking Muffin

Sitting at a secluded booth with a glass of whiskey in his hands, Kylo's body hummed with agitation.

A bunch of mindless fools.

He and his knights were situated in the back, giving them a view of the entire venue and all the sweaty, dancing bodies swaying on the dance floor. The lights were just as low as the bass while socialites discussed nothing of importance, alcohol flowing endlessly down their insatiable, greedy gullets. The booth they were at was large, but Kylo still felt cramped. He hated it.

He frowned. He had never been inside a nightclub, but now he was unfortunate enough to be in Ubialla Gheal's—a place just as sickeningly grand as the Canto Bight Resort, albeit in a different font, if you will. While the resort was lavish and overly decorated, this place was minimalist in its design but luxurious nonetheless, with Kylo's most detested adornment being the all-black chandeliers larger than his TIE Silencer.

His knights shifted around him; they were just as out of place as he was. While they could be found in various lairs of the galaxy enjoying booze and women, never would they come to a place like this for fun. Alas, when they decided to stake out here, they knew it wouldn't be for them. Their fun would happen later at Pryka's. But Kitten? She was having a great time.

Kylo's fingers mindlessly spun his drink around in his hands, his eyes locked on her sitting at the bar across from the dance floor. She was sitting so casually, so relaxed, almost like she had forgotten she was a prisoner. And bait. She had been surprised when he hadn't stopped her from sitting over there by herself, but Kylo knew that she couldn't escape. Not when he and his six knights were here, with Stormtroopers crawling throughout the entire city.

Plus, he hadn't taken his eyes off her once. He knew that he should be more invested in the anticipated arrival of the Master Codebreaker—and then the Resistance—but the Supreme Leader couldn't stop watching Kitten, reminding him that even if he had a grip on his self-control, she was still a huge fucking distraction. He watched, silently brooding, as she threw her head back and laughed, her fingers grazing the male Twi'lek's arm that was vying for her attention. Judging by the coy expression on her face, it was working. Kylo's fingers pressed into his drink so hard it almost shattered in his hands, reminding him that she was an infuriating and intoxicating distraction.

A displeased redhead stepped into his field of vision. "Ren," Hux said, visibly uncomfortable, "we just got word—"

"What? I can't hear you," Kylo shouted, his knights fanning out and clutching their weapons beside him. "Speak up."

He stepped closer, raising his voice. "We just got word that—"

Kylo shook his head and pointed up to gesture to the speakers. He mouthed, still can't hear you, even though he could hear him perfectly fine.

Nostrils flared and jaw tight, Hux stepped even closer to yell at him. "THE MASTER CODEBREAKER IS RETURNING LATE, SIR, WE—"

"Hux," the Supreme Leader reprimanded, leaning forward in the booth. "Not so loud. We don't want locals to know why we are really here."

Fury flickered across Hux's face. Straightening his back and looking down at him with a searing distaste, he spoke through gritted teeth. "I have important information regarding our mission, Supreme Leader. I suggest you listen."

With a twitch of his lip, Kylo nodded. "Very well." But he needed to check on Kitten first. He shoved two fingers to the left. "Move."

The General glared at him for so long, he thought he'd have to move him out of the way himself. With one step to the left, Kitten came into view again. She was still talking to the Twi'lek, who had since moved even closer to her. Kylo glowered at the back of his head, imagining what it would look like perched on a stick. He'd save him a spot right next to the General's.

Over the music, Hux cleared his throat. "Ren."

Eyes found his. "What?"

"The Master Codebreaker is approaching the bay behind schedule, sir," he said, tone as tight as his posture. "Shall we send a division out to collect him?"

"No," he said, with a clipped shake of his head. "You're excused, General."

Hux shifted his stance. "With all due respect, Supreme Leader, we are here for the crystal. We should—"

"Any signs of the Resistance, General?"

Hux raised his chin. "No."

"Then we wait until they come. As was discussed." Keeping his hard, unforgiving gaze on Hux's face, he gave him a cold demand. "Now, leave."

With a glare that could wilt a plant, Hux tore away from the booth and disappeared into the crowd. He was livid, sick of his endless punishment for trying to kill Kitten, but Kylo couldn't care less. All he cared about right now was how the Twi'lek was making her giggle by tickling her with the tip of his lekku. He wanted to rip them out of his fucking skull.

All his knights readied themselves in the booth, but it was Vicrul who leaned in, whispering to him. "Do you want him taken care of, Master?"

A moment of consideration. Then, a shake of his head. "No."

A heavy cloud of disappointment fell over the table. His knights were bored, looking for any reason to get in a fight. Kylo didn't blame them. He took another sip of his drink, ignoring the wandering patrons passing by their booth, focusing instead on his beautiful pain in the ass. Zoning in on her and her new friend, he picked up on their conversation.

"No way," she said, laughing nervously, "I thought you were joking."

Through a sea of bodies, Kylo saw the Twi'lek place an arm around her. His knights responded as they sensed their Master's anger, his rage. They waited for the command as he sat up, straightening his spine and listening in on her response.

"Excuse me, did I say you can touch me?" Kitten said, pushing him away and giving him a death glare. Satisfaction coursed through Kylo—but then her companion opened his mouth.

"But baby, I bought you a drink. Don't you think you owe me?"

Kylo set his whiskey down, and all his knights stood up to clear a path for him. As he made his way through the crowd, he only had one concern on his mind—chop his head off now, or torture him first?

"Absolutely not, bud," he heard her say, laughing. "Time for you to fuck off."

He could feel her companion's rejection like it was his own, overwhelming him even through the thick of the crowd. Then—a shift. A violent shift as Kylo caught a glimpse of the tail-head whipping out a dull, rusty blade as he reached for her. Rage sparking in his chest, Kylo Force-propelled everyone to the side, creating a direct path to her, but Kitten was faster.

He blinked. The moment she was in full view, he saw the Twi'lek clasping his belly as he stumbled away from the bar, blood pouring through his fingers and seeping out of his mouth. It didn't take long for him to collapse to the floor, triggering nearby patrons to scream and run. Blindly, the rest of the guests followed suit, running for the exit like porgs with their heads cut off.

She panicked when she saw him looking at her, brow raised. "He, he threatened me! I didn't do anything, I promise! He was mad that I rejected him and, and I grabbed the blade without thinking, and it just happened!"

He didn't say anything, glancing down at the groaning, bloody Twi'lek on the floor. He was losing so much blood, he would die without medical attention. Kylo reveled in that fact.

As his knights approached them, Kitten was nearing hysteria. "Hello? Say something, for fuck's sake! Am I going to get in trouble?"

Kylo spoke softly to her. "No." He nodded toward the knife she so tightly clutched, holding out his hand. "I'll take that, Kitten."

She looked down, surprise flickering across her face as though she had forgotten she was holding it. Then, with more poise, she raised her chin, trailing her gaze over all six of his knights before looking at him. After holding his dark gaze, she assessed the Stormtroopers hanging back in the shadows, no doubt sizing up her competition. But adept fighter or not, she knew that she didn't stand a chance against them, so with a dejected sigh, Kitten stepped forward and flipped the blade around, offering him the hilt.

"If you really think I'm that dumb, then I'm honestly offended," she mumbled as he grabbed it from her. "At least—"

A high-pitched whine, a blistering bolt of heat, then a cluster of alcohol bottles exploded behind the bar. Kitten covered her ears as she ducked, confused and disoriented, but Kylo knew what had just happened. Someone had shot at her.

He whipped his head toward where the blast had come from, fury pumping through his veins. He almost expected to see Luke—who else could have hidden their advances from seven dark Force-users?—but he set his eyes on something even more surprising: an IG-11. A decades-old New Republic Era bounty hunter droid, programmed to do one thing and one thing only: kill. And it had just pulled the trigger again, aiming right for Kitten again.

With a grunt, Kylo's hand flew out, gloves splayed as he suspended the blaster shot in mid-air. His knights sprang into action, two of them swooping in on the droid while the others ran to scour the premise to search for other assailants. Keeping his eyes locked on the streak of piercing blue light right in front of his prisoner, he spoke very calmly, very firmly to her. "Kitten. Come here."

He could feel her shock as she backed away from the vibrating cell, eyes wide as she stepped around it to get by his side. Besides the curt shake of his head, he remained still. "No. Behind me."

She listened, her body close to his as her hands gripped the fabric of his robes, but Kylo held off on releasing it for a moment longer, studying the way it buzzed with destructive energy and restrained force. If a patron were to waltz through the doors and see it, they'd think it was an abstract expression of art, akin to icy blue paint smeared in the third dimension, the air its canvas. But no, it wasn't artistic or impressive. It was deadly. And if Kylo had responded a millisecond later, it would have hit her. It would have killed her, just like that. Without any warning, she would have been taken from him.

A pit opened up in his stomach. He released the blaster shot, triggering a resounding clang as it drilled through the marble bar, and he turned around to grab Kitten. With his knights moving stealthily around the room and Stormtroopers bursting through the doors, the Supreme Leader held her, cradling her body to his. He didn't speak or explain himself. And after a moment of standing stiffly in his arms, she held him back.

"Are you okay?" he asked, voice strained as he pulled away, keeping his hands wrapped around her shoulders. She clutched him back as his eyes darted all over her body, looking for blood. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm...I'm okay." Her fingertips dug into his forearms as she peeked around him to look at the droid. She sucked on her bottom lip. "I know of only one group of people that use those things..." When she met his gaze, there was sadness in her eyes. "The Kanjiklub."

Kylo stiffened. He knew the gang would try to kill her, even in his presence. He had been looking forward to it, thinking he could capture them without any real danger to her. And yet, in his hubris, a bunch of fucking misfits took him by surprise, sending in an IG-11 they knew would be undetectable to him and his knights. They knew it was energy-less, giving them the advantage. It worked. They had outsmarted him. And it had almost gotten her killed.

"We will find them," he promised, lowering his chin closer to her. He planted his hand on her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb when she pressed against it. He swallowed. "And we will make them pay."

She nodded, an unreadable expression crossing her face. He didn't take his eyes off her, and she didn't pull her gaze away, either. Chaos ensued in the room around them but between them, there was silence. Just stillness. Just this tender touch. That pit inside of him opened deeper. It dug and dug until his stomach churned, full of the thoughts and emotions he had been suppressing ever since he took her. Things he didn't want to admit, things he couldn't admit. And yet, he could feel them climbing up his esophagus, making their way onto the tip of his tongue and forcing him to say aloud what he desperately wanted to swallow.

He stepped into her, saying her name. "I..."

"What in the holy Outer Rim happened in here?" came Hux's impeccably timed interruption, his nose crinkling at the dark, viscous puddle of blood seeping out from the now-dead Twi'lek. He shot a knowing glance at Kitten. "Got bored, did you, little one?"

Kylo cleared his throat as his prisoner stepped away from him. "Self-defense," he said mildly. He walked past Hux and his 'troopers, not stopping as he called out to Kitten. "Pet. With me."

She obeyed without protest, following him out of the doors and into the bustling streets of the city. Kylo welcomed the cool, damp air that hit his face and blew through his hair. He needed to breathe, to clear his mind. His knights weren't far behind, dragging the sparking, malfunctioning assassin droid on the ground as they followed. Patrons whispered and pointed as Canto Bight police pushed them back. Even though the chauffeur was waiting outside the nightclub, Kylo kept walking, hopeful of digesting the conflict swimming in his gut.

Click, click, click. "Supreme Leader?" He could hear her practically running to keep up. "Where are we going?"

"Back to the hotel." He came to an abrupt halt, as did the speeder that had been following them. Kylo opened the door for her. "Get in."

With a frown, she stepped in, and Kylo turned to his knights. They were occupying the patio of the establishment closest to the road, the Canto Bite Bakery, sending customers fleeing with their pastries in hand. If he didn't have so much already zipping through his mind, the Supreme Leader would have found the sight of them comical. Here they were, a band of ruthless warriors donned in full battle gear—weapons included—standing beneath the twinkling lights of the bakery, the sound of upbeat pop music hanging above their heads like a pink, sugary cloud.

Kylo nodded at the sparking droid in Ushar's hands. "Pull it apart. Look through its core processing unit. Find everything and anything you can on who sent it." He took a step closer to them, dragging his gaze across each and every one of their masks, speaking with a deep, severe voice. "I want whoever did this to suffer. Do you understand?"

They spoke in unison. "Yes, Master Ren."

Kylo nodded in approval. "Good." He turned around to approach the speeder, throwing their excusal over his shoulder. "I expect a resolution by the time we leave Cantonica. Do not disappoint me."

Another chorused yes, Master Ren, and Kylo dipped his head to get into the vehicle. He slammed the door closed and barked at the chauffeur. "Take us back."

"Right away, sir!"

As he sank into the seat, the Supreme Leader felt Kitten's eyes on him, but he didn't turn to her. Being locked in the cramped backseat of a speeder with her was difficult enough—why would he make things harder than they had to be? He didn't want to feel the weight of her curious gaze, or carry the burden of conflict she held for being attracted to him. Kylo was already grappling with his own conflict. Especially now, as his stomach roiled, reminding him of all those things he tried to push down...

"Hey, Kylo?"

He kept his face tilted away from her, eyes unfocused as he stared out the window. "Yes?"

She hesitated. "Did the Resistance show up yet?"

"No," came his clipped response. "And they won't arrive until the Master Codebreaker does."

"Oh," she said softly, disappointment flooding the space between them. "Okay."

The despondency in her voice drew his gaze to her. She looked beautiful as she sat beside him, looking out the window with her hands clasped in her lap. Gently rocking side to side from the movement of the speeder, the warped flashes of light and color of downtown played across her face in a mesmerizing way. The corner of Kylo's mouth pulled down. She looked beautiful and sad.

While she mostly felt resentment for her team and for General Organa, deep down, he sensed the tiniest thread of hope that they would still come for her. That they would save her from him. And with a quick dip in her mind, that's exactly what she was envisioning: a shuttle dropping down for her, Zeven running to grab her, taking her inside, where she would be united with Drox...

He spoke through a tense jaw. "This will not go the way you want," he said, a harsh bite to his tone. "This is not about you."

With a hesitant pivot of her head, Kitten locked eyes with Kylo, pain, and sorrow on her face. He leaned in to get his point across, speaking clearly for emphasis. "They are not coming for you," he said, following up with her name. "They are coming for the crystal. Do not mistake their arrival on Cantonica as your rescue mission."

Kitten turned her head toward the window, but not fast enough to hide the way her face crumpled in pain. He continued to watch her, resisting the urge to reach out and touch her, to soothe her, but he knew there was nothing he could say that would ease her sorrows. She wouldn't like what he had to say, anyway—she was his, and she would be staying right here with him. Instead, Kylo placed a heavy hand on her thigh in a weighted non-verbal reminder of to whom she belonged.

Sniffling and without looking at him, Kitten jolted her leg, trying to shake him off. He respected her wishes, removing his hand after giving her a firm squeeze. After he pivoted to look out his own window, the rest of the ride was spent in silence, and the moment they arrived back at the resort, Kitten jumped out of the speeder like it was on fire.

He gave her space, following her through the gardens and up the spiral staircase, staying a comfortable distance behind her as they approached their rooms. She crossed her arms in front of the door, knowing full well she had to wait for him to open it, so Kylo waved his hand to unlock it from afar. He had never seen her move so fast as she slipped inside.

His lip pulled down as he entered his own room. He walked aimlessly inside as the door whooshed closed behind him, his gaze drifting around the large, lavish room—the large, lavish, and empty room. It felt lonely without Kitten. His frown deepened, and as his eyes dropped to the floor, he saw her half-eaten muffin from earlier. He stopped in his tracks and crouched down. Tugging at each of his digits, Kylo slipped off his gloves and placed them on the ground. He picked up the pastry and twirled it in his hands, trying to stop his mind from racing with the truth he so desperately needed to bury. But he felt frozen as he squatted in the middle of his room, in a trance as he worshiped a half-eaten muffin like a psychopath captivated by a stupid fucking muffin.

He sucked in a shaky inhale, his heart pounding in his chest. It was such a trivial thing, such a pointless thing, but he couldn't stop staring at it, remembering how her face had lit up when she saw it before tackling it with her teeth. So eager. So excited. So adorable. The longer he kept his eyes on it, unblinking as his pulse skyrocketed, everything he had kept locked within him came spilling out and expanding around the room until he could no longer take it, could no longer breathe.

"No, no, no...." Kylo whispered, his eyes darting back and forth rapidly as the truth came down on him hard and fast, stealing the oxygen from his lungs. He tried to push it back down, to will it away, but it was too late. The Force was rumbling within him, buzzing with a terrifying validity he did not want to accept.

Abruptly closing his hand around the muffin, Kylo crumbled it into little pieces before pushing himself off the floor with a rough grunt, striding across the room to his refresher. He had to take a shower, a scorching hot shower to cleanse him of this realization, to rid him of what the assassination attempt had unleashed. He tore off his clothes, starting with his robes and tunic before reaching for his boots and pants. He moved hastily, panicked, as he shook his head, unwanted visions barraging his mind.

The Twi'lek touching her...the shattering bottles of alcohol...the vibrating blaster shot...her wide eyes, stuck on his face...

"No, no," he growled, taking tight steps back and forth in the refresher, nearly stripped down to the nude, as he tried to flee what was now rising.

It was on the tip of his tongue, but still, he resisted. Kylo was nothing if not stubborn. He closed his eyes and tried to forget the feeling of her hands clutching his robes, trembling slightly as he had released the blaster shot in the bar. The noise had scared her, but she had tried to put on a brave face. Always putting on a brave face, even as he had held her body against his.

Kylo stopped pacing to stand in front of the toilet. He felt bile rising in his throat, rising from the pit that had opened when she was almost taken from him. He dropped to his knees, groaning as he folded his bare upper body against the toilet seat. The Supreme Leader had never felt so stupid as he did at this moment. So fucking stupid. He scrunched his eyes closed and tried to stop himself from vomiting, all because an IG-11 droid had pulled a trigger. All because a fucking droid had nearly taken his prisoner away, his Kitten, his girl.

Kylo swallowed, her name reverberating in his mind as everything came to a head. This was it. There was no escaping the truth now. Not when he was finally processing what he had felt in the nightclub when she was almost murdered.

Real, tangible fear.

Paralyzing fear. Crippling fear. The sticky strain of emotion that got inside him and continued to fester long after it was triggered. As he had held the blaster shot in the air, only inches away from her face, the Supreme Leader couldn't remember the last time he was that afraid. He wasn't sure he had ever felt raw terror like that before. And yet, the idea of not having her, of not seeing her again or hearing her voice...he couldn't think of a bleaker way to live life.

And that's why he was here. Face down and hunched over the fucking toilet as he tried to pull in deep breaths through his nose, exhaling from his mouth. Because now he knew this wasn't just obsession or possession or the remnants of the Force-beacon driving him mad. No, no, no. This was more than that. This was worse than that. This changed everything. Permanently. It changed him permanently.

As that realization poured over him, devoured him, claimed him, Kylo let out a strangled release from his throat, a mixture between a yell and a grunt and a gag because he didn't know what else to do. At this moment, he didn't know anything besides he couldn't live without her. Because he loved her. His prisoner, his Kitten. Tragically. So much, it hurt.

With a violent heave, the Supreme Leader threw up.