These Violent Delights

Chapter 42: Don't Forget Who You Are

The trek to Hangar Six was uneventful.

They walked in silence, other than Miss Ren responding to the occasional greeting from various First Order officials. At first, Vicrul had attempted to tap into the energy of those around him to search for traitors, but it became too distracting. He had to focus on his Master's girl and keep tabs on her health and maintain her safety, as well as make sure she didn't set anything on fire, steal a TIE fighter, or, as he was doing currently, ensure she didn't get in a physical altercation with the least amenable, most fed-up-with-Kitten Knight of Ren.

"You'll have to take that up with the Supreme Leader, Prisoner M421," came Ap'lek's hard, unforgiving tone from under his mask as he blocked the entrance of the Night Buzzard. "Because I'm not allowing you up this ramp."

"Well, I'm not leaving until you tell me who's in there," she snapped back, putting her hands on her hips. "So either let me in, or you'll have to physically remove me from this hangar."

"That can be arranged," Ap'lek asserted, hands gripping his executioner's ax as he advanced.

Doubtful that Kitten wouldn't take a swing at the knight, Vicrul was quick to get between them. "Both of you, enough." Pushing her back while planting his hand in the air to bring Ap'lek to a halt, he nodded toward the ship. "Go. Secure the prisoner, and we will come back later."

He was silent as his mask stayed fixed on them, but he didn't need to speak for Vicrul to know he was aggrieved for their unannounced visit. Which, to be fair, was entirely Vicrul's fault—he had been so preoccupied with the new development on Hux, it didn't even occur to him that the others had been assigned to relocate the Resistance fighter they found on Batuu...without M421 finding out about it. So yeah, he fucked up. Big time.

As the tension mounted, the twins came forward and appeared at the top of the ramp. He could tell they were trying to intimidate her, since Cardo had his massive arm cannon equipped and Kuruk was holding his sniper rifle. They were silent as they stood there, but their stances communicated what Ap'lek had already made very clear: Kitten would not be allowed inside the Night Buzzard right now.

Vicrul turned toward her, gripping her elbow. "Miss Ren, this was my mistake. It's not a good time to see the new modifications up close. We will come back at—"

"No," she snapped, pulling away and stepping around him. She positioned herself at the bottom of the ramp, peering around Ap'lek to speak to the other knights behind him. "Who is in there? Do I know them?"

Ap'lek leaned to the side, blocking her view as he took an intimidating step closer to her. "They don't know if you know the prisoner, and they don't care. None of us care." He looked over her head to pin the visor of his mask on Vicrul, biting out a demeaning retort. "It's a beautiful day to take Master Ren's pet on a hike, Vicrul."

Kitten lunged. But thank the maker, he grabbed her before she could fully get her claws in Ap'lek. Pinning her arms behind her back, Vicrul receded from the Night Buzzard as she kicked and screamed to get away. Which only encouraged the jeers and taunts that came from Cardo and Ap'lek, and it was safe to say that she really didn't like that.

"FUCK YOU, YOU GIANT FUCKS!" she yelled, thrashing wildly in his grip, "AND YOU, AND MOST DEFINITELY YOU, AP'LEK, YOU COCKY LITTLE SHIT!"

Ap'lek turned around to enter the Night Buzzard, laughing to himself as she continued to hurl insults. Vicrul tried to calm her as he continued to put space between them, but then a female voice from the shuttle made everyone pause. It was the Resistance prisoner. Yelling M421's name. Her real name.

Kitten gasped, going limp in his grasp. "Oh, my stars, that's—"

They heard another yell, clearer this time as the captive screamed her name again.

"I know that voice! That's Zeven. Oh, my gods, that's Zeven!" she cried, tugging her arms free from Vicrul and running back toward the shuttle. "ZEVEN! I HEAR YOU!"

Ah, fuck. Vicrul ran after her. "Miss Ren—"

As Ap'lek whipped around, resuming his wide stance on the ramp, she spun to face Vicrul, thrusting her hand out. "Datapad. Now."

He was about to protest, but the way she was looking at him...it was easier to just comply. He reached into his pocket, opened his commcenter, and pressed Master Ren so that he could signal his datapad. With a sigh, he handed it to her. "Here you—"

Kitten snatched it from his hands and walked away, retreating as far as possible without stepping out into outer space. Vicrul followed after her with lazy, nonthreatening strides to ensure she wouldn't get pissy with him, but close enough where he could pick up on her thoughts and hear their conversation.

Master Ren answered immediately. "Vicrul. Is she okay? What happened?"

M421 waved an impatient hand in the air. "Hi. I stole Vicrul's datapad. It's me. You have to—"

"Kitten? What's wrong? What do you need?"

"You need to let go of Zeven! That's what I need you to do! Please, please, do not hurt her. Kylo, I beg of you," she wavered, hysteria creeping into her voice. "She is my best friend, okay? Please, please listen to me."

"Deep breaths, Kitten." He waited for her to take a deep breath. "Good girl. Now, listen to me. My knights caught her in the forest on Batuu, but only after I found her, and I let her go. I gave her the chance to run, but she didn't."

"You let her go?" she asked, shock and disbelief bleeding from her. She processed this for a moment before shaking her head to herself. "We can talk about that later. But now what? Where is she going? What are you going to do?"

"They are going to drop her off in the Outer Rim. Unarmed and without communication, but safe and sound. They have been instructed not to harm her." He paused. "Because I know what she means to you."

Vicrul could feel the relief rolling off her from where she was standing. She started to sniffle. "Kylo, thank you, I—thank you." She wiped her cheek with the back of her hand and stood up straight, clearing her throat. "Now, please tell your knights to move their stubborn asses so I can see her."

"You have to understand—"

"Kylo, please. I just want to see her. That's it. It's not like she can talk me out of this, out of...you," she clarified, her voice breaking. "Please. You need to trust me."

After a beat of hesitation, Master Ren sighed. "Okay, Kitten. Put Vicrul on."

"Thank you," she said, a smile breaking out on her face. "Thank you!"

Vicrul moved closer to where M421 was standing, and she handed him back the datapad. Her eyes were firmly pinned on the ship, where Ap'lek remained unyieldingly rigid at the top of the ramp while Cardo and Kuruk hovered behind him with flinty stances. Vicrul grabbed the device and put it up to his ear.

"Master Ren, I—"

"For fuck's sake, Vicrul," Ren hissed on the other line. "Of all things, you had to take her to see the fucking Night Buzzard? The same day the others were tasked with transporting the Resistance fighter?"

He opened his mouth to respond, but his Master snapped at him again before he could get a word out. "Don't respond to that. This is a discussion for later." He let out a deep, agitated sigh, and Vicrul could imagine him rubbing at his temples as he spoke. "Let her see Zeven. But keep it short, and don't let the conversation get out of hand. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Master."

"Fucking hells." The line went dead.

Vicrul put his datapad in his pocket and locked eyes with Miss Ren. Lips pressed into a tight line, he nodded at the Night Buzzard. "Let's go."

As they approached the ship, the others spilled down the ramp, Ap'lek's mask fixed on her face as Vicrul led her past them, directing her inside. She followed him in silence. She didn't antagonize the others or even look at them. She was too focused on seeing Zeven, her energy so trepidatious, he had to put distance between them so he could separate himself from the weight of her feelings.

Vicrul came to a stop as he took the first step into the common room, making Kitten pause behind him. He bent his head to the right, looking beyond the wall to see the prisoner sitting on the sofa in the center of the room. He felt a tug on his elbow as she tried to get around him to see her friend, but he had to make sure of something first. "Stay here," he muttered before moving toward the Resistance fighter.

Zeven kept her steely eyes on him as he approached. Defiant and unafraid, just like Kitten. Stopping a good distance in front of her, he lifted his hand to wave it in the general direction of her face. "You may move now, but you cannot leave this shuttle."

Her face relaxed. "I may move now, but I cannot leave this shuttle."

With a grim nod, Vicrul looked over his shoulder and whistled. Kitten came barreling around the corner, and he moved out of the way to lean against the wall beside the sofa. He eyed her as she practically threw herself at Zeven, their bodies colliding in a tight hug.

"Oh my gods," Kitten cried, eyes closed as they held each other tight. "It's you. It's really you."

Their reunion went on for what felt like eons, but in reality, Vicrul knew it was only minutes. Once they composed themselves, they both pulled back to wipe the tears off their faces.

"I can't believe this," Zeven quavered. "I heard a voice, and I thought maybe it was you, but I wasn't sure." She stopped to release a breathy, shaky laugh. "But then I heard you absolutely go off, like the crazy-ass bitch you are, and I just knew it, I knew it!"

The girls laughed together. "Yes, that's me," M421 said, a grin on her face. "You know me so well."

After their shared giggling tapered off, stunned silence fell between them as they looked at one another. Vicrul let his gaze wander; he didn't want them to know that he was watching their every move.

"Wow," Zeven eventually murmured. She leaned in, touching the stray piece of hair hanging out from one of her friend's buns. "You look...great."

"You really think I'd let them wear me down?" she said with a sly smile. "I'm okay. But you, you're okay? What happened on Batuu?"

"I was looking for you—I wanted to save you. But the Supreme Leader found me. He almost killed me."

"But he didn't. That's surprising, seeing as how you were wearing this," Kitten said, bringing a finger up to trace the Resistance patch on her jacket. She dropped her hand, tilting her head to the side. "Drox said you were labeled a deserter...what happened?"

Zeven spat out a sardonic scoff. "Fuck the Resistance. I'm only wearing this because it's all I have. I left months ago when I started my own mission to find you." There was a brief pause as she threw a glance at Vicrul, then leaned into Kitten, lowering her voice. "I want you to know that getting captured won't stop me. I will do whatever it takes to help you get away from these monsters." She said her name. "You have my word."

The silence that followed was loud. Vicrul shifted his stance against the wall as the energy in the room transitioned to something darker, murky. When she did speak next, her voice was low, pained.

"Zeven..."

She cocked her head, confusion etched into the lines of her dark skin. "What?"

"They aren't all monsters," Miss Ren whispered.

Shock immediately set in on Zeven's face. "You're joking, right?" she asked, the desperation dripping from her words. She said her name. "Tell me, tell me this is a joke."

She gave the slightest shake of her head. "It's not."

"Oh, my god, oh my fucking god," she panicked, pressing her fingers to her temple. "He has mind-compelled you to like him, hasn't he? That's why you're talking all crazy?"

"No, Zev. He has never Force-compelled me to like him. Actually..." she trailed off, throwing a glance at Vicrul, almost like she was seeking support. They locked eyes, and she sucked on her bottom lip, anxiety pouring out of her. He offered an encouraging smile, and with renewed courage, she looked back at Zeven. "Actually, I came to that conclusion myself."

Vicrul watched as her mouth popped open, eyelids rapidly opening and closing. Kitten shifted on the sofa and cleared her throat, visibly uncomfortable. Oh, gods. Vicrul's chest swelled and fell with a deep, preparatory breath. This can't possibly end well.

Zeven replied as though she had forgotten how to speak. "You...like...him."

"Yes." Miss Ren lifted her head, her tone marginally stronger and confident. "A lot, actually."

A cloud of desperation swirled around them as Zeven shot forward, closing the space between them to grab her hands. "Wait, listen to me. Please just listen to me. He has gotten to you. You are his prisoner, don't you understand? What you're going through...it's not your fault, but liking him is wrong. Please, please tell me you see that."

Here we go. Vicrul was about to interject and split them up, but Kitten spoke first, tugging her hands away from Zeven.

"No, it's not wrong," she said, uncoiling her spine as she spoke with conviction. "And I'm not his prisoner anymore. Not really, and soon enough, I won't be officially, either. Things have changed."

First, there was tense silence, then M421's best friend threw her head back and laughed. "Oh, oh really? So let's see, if you asked him to let you leave with me today just to visit, would he let you?"

"Well, I—"

"Or, or what about us, hm? Yeah, fuck Organa and what she did to you, but what about your team?" Zeven continued, anger and disbelief spilling from every pore. "Would he let you come back to us, to me, to at least see the people that actually care about you?"

This time, it was Miss Ren who laughed. "Who the fuck is us? Besides you, nobody from my past gives a shit about me. Organa left me to die. Drox left me to die—but fucked someone else before leaving me to die. Poe, Finn, Chewie...I know you like them, but they're not my people, Zev. I see now, they never were. I'm sorry."

"So, that's that? This is your home now? With Stormtroopers and Kylo Ren and these giant, sadistic fucks?" she asked, gesturing a hand toward Vicrul. "Really?"

As they continued their back and forth, Vicrul cocked a brow, borderline amused. It's not every day I'm called a giant, sadistic fuck... he shrugged to himself. But I can't say she's wrong. As the minutes ticked by, the conversation graduated to a hostile exchange, and even if Ren hadn't instructed him to keep things under control, he would have stepped in. Kitten was looking at him with desperation, as though she wanted reinforcement but was too afraid to voice it in front of Zeven.

"We must get going soon," he asserted, breaking away from the wall to hover near their position. He caught the Resistance fighter's attention, speaking directly to her. "I suggest leaving on a good note."

Setting her frantic eyes on M421, Zeven let out a strained groan. "Please, please tell me that you see the issue with this." She shook Kitten's shoulders. "You have to understand...this isn't normal."

Tension hung in the air—defiant tension. So dense and suffocating, Vicrul thought Kitten was just going to get up and leave. But instead, she took a deep breath, speaking with a soft, sad voice.

"What does 'normal' even mean for a person like me? My life before this wasn't all unicorns and butterflies, you know. It actually fucking sucked. I was perpetually in flight-or-fight mode just to live my everyday life. And I'm tired, okay? Of running and hiding and fighting—fuck, I am so, so tired of fighting, Zev. I just want a place to lay my head, a place to exist and be happy with a man that adores me...for some reason." A breezy chuckle passed through her lips, dissolving the tension in the room just a bit. "But I'm not blind. I know there are issues with how it started, but he's owned up to it, and I, I trust him, okay? I trust him. And I...I want him. I want this. Really, I do."

Zeven looked away from her best friend, hurt on her face as she tried to blink back tears. She was quiet as she composed herself before making eye contact again. "Sure, you feel adored and all, but what about your freedom? Does this mean you're going to accept your fate as his prisoner and live happily ever after?"

"No. Not as his prisoner." Kitten shook her head vehemently. "I am positive I already am free. We just haven't had a chance to talk about it yet, but we will when he gets back."

"When?" she whispered, unable to hold back tears now. "When can you be free?"

"Soon." Miss Ren smiled at her. "He's not here right now because he's getting me a gift for our assignment tomorrow. But we will talk it out when he's home, I promise."

"Our assignment?" Zeven asked, her outrage reignited. "What assignment? Are you working with this evil dictatorship now? It's one thing to fall for a tall, weirdly-attractive-yet-still-very-much-homicidal man, but you're working for the First fucking Order?"

The new wave of anger emanating from Zeven hit Vicrul in the face like a fucking brick. Alright, that's my cue. He took another step closer. "Miss Ren, they must depart. It's getting late, and a solar storm is developing in the Outer Rim. Prolonging departure could result in harm to the knights and your companion."

"Miss Ren?" Zeven repeated, glancing at him with wide, incredulous eyes before setting them back on Kitten's face. "Miss fucking Ren? Are you serious? Girl, do not tell me you already married that psychopath! Are you crazy?"

Ah, fuck. Vicrul couldn't let this go on any longer. Momentarily tearing away from them, he crossed the room to approach the main entrance. He used two fingers to gesture to the others hovering at the bottom of the ramp. Since M421 and Zeven's reunion began, all five of them had made it to the hangar. They flooded forward and he turned back to the girls, who were still fighting as the knights filtered in. One by one, they surrounded the sofa.

Vicrul outstretched a hand to Kitten, a pang of pity shooting through him as he sensed her impending tears. "Time to go, love. Come here."

She looked relieved when her eyes locked on his hand. She took a deep breath, then nodded once. Looking back at Zeven, she smiled and mouthed "goodbye'' as she pushed herself off the couch.

"No, wait, please, listen!" Zeven screamed, lunging for M421, but Ushar stepped in her way like a steel wall to block her efforts. The other knights lurched into action all around them, preparing for take-off as they ignored the kicking and shouting prisoner, her eyes flooding with tears as she watched her best friend leave. "PLEASE!" She screamed her name. "LISTEN TO ME!"

Walking away from Zeven, she looked back at her one last time. "It's you who's not listening to me, Zev." She shook her head sadly, then set her gaze on the nearest knight, Trudgen. "Make sure you leave her with enough supplies." And with that, she turned around, breezing past Vicrul as she made her way down the ramp.

Pained, guttural yells tore from the Resistance fighter's throat. "No, no! COME BACK!"

Vicrul followed Miss Ren as the Night Buzzard roared to life, the shuttle floor vibrating below his boots. Even after he made his exit to stand beside Kitten in the hangar, her best friend could still be heard shouting from inside the ship. He observed her as she watched it prepare for take-off with empty eyes. The ramp hummed as it began to close, and a rush of black fumes burst from the exhaust. Right as it began to ascend, Zeven's ear-splitting screams spilled from above.

"Don't forget you who are!" she yelled, adding her name. "Don't you fucking for—"

With a colossal groan, the Night Buzzard sealed shut. Kitten just stood there, looking up at it, unblinking as it rose higher and higher in the hanger.

"Miss Ren, they are taking off. We must leave." She didn't move a muscle. Vicrul wasn't even sure if she had heard him. He walked around her, placed a gentle hand on her lower back, and directed her away from the ship. "Come on. Follow me."

She listened, but she didn't take her eyes off the ship. She kept her head turned, looking over her shoulder, until it ripped out of the hangar, leaving nothing behind but a gritty plume of deadly fumes.

Vicrul kept his voice low. "Are you alright?"

She jumped when he spoke, almost like she had forgotten he was there. She looked at him with a blank expression. "When will Kylo be back?"

"About four hours, if all goes as planned," Vicrul said, his eyes darting across her face. "Really, are you—"

"I'm fine." She walked away from him, making her way back to the corridors. "Let's go."

Vicrul's brows knit. "Where would you like to go?"

"My quarters," she called out. "I wanna wait for Kylo to get back."

—

Things were going well.

Too well, Vicrul mused, shooting a glance at M421. She was already in her pajamas and had been since mid-day when they returned, happily snacking on some Outpost Mix she picked up on Batuu before she was almost blown up. Ani, her tiny, fuzzy black cat was sprawled out between them as they sat on opposite ends of the sofa. They were watching her favorite holodrama, Space Battles, a lengthy drama about a strange civilization in a galaxy far, far away. Vicrul didn't care for it, but she knew every single line.

"Blow that piece of junk, OUT OF THE SKY!" Kitten exclaimed, in sync with the emo-space-lord on screen. She cackled to herself, then promptly shoveled more popcorn in her mouth.

Vicrul set his eyes back on the holoscreen with a smirk on his face. Despite the upsetting discussion with Zeven, M421 seemed perfectly fine. Almost too fine, but he wasn't going to question it. After their truce earlier in the day, he was expecting there to be less animosity between them, but this? This was almost like spending time with a friend. It was weird, but also kinda nice? Vicrul didn't have friends besides the other knights. And even then, he couldn't spend too much time with Ushar and Trudgen before he needed to take a nice, long walk off the nearest hangar.

With her mouth full, Miss Ren swung her hand across the couch to offer him some snacks. "Popcorn?"

Vicrul shook his head. "No, thank you."

Crunch, crunch, crunch. "Suit yourself."

As they finished the rest of the holodrama, they fell into a comfortable silence—except when she felt like reciting the lines again. Then it wasn't comfortable or silent. It was just loud. Eventually, Ani got tired of her incessant love and left to lounge in the bedroom. She yelled at him to come back, but he ignored her, so she settled deeper into the sofa with a yawn. Vicrul was about to ask if she wanted dinner, but then he sensed Master Ren's arrival. He stood up and waited.

Thrum. The doors opened, and Master Ren blew through with a black bag in hand. He was donning his usual attire sans his mask and robes, and even though he had just learned there may be people on this ship who were trying to kill him and uproot his power, he seemed perfectly at ease.

"Master Ren," Vicrul said, dipping his head into a bow. "Welcome home."

He looked right past him. "Kitten, come here."

She jumped to her feet and hurried over to him, an obvious spring in her step. It looked like she had to forcibly stop herself from jumping on him, instead standing a foot away as she clasped her hands in front of her, playing with her fingers.

"Hi," she said sweetly.

"Hi."

Vicrul turned away from their grossly-cute reunion, leaning forward to grab his scythe from beside the sofa. In the next second, an eruption of giggles filled the air, as did Master Ren's low, deep chuckle. When he looked back over, they were locked in an embrace, with Ren's hands dangerously low on her back while hers were hooked around his neck. Vicrul ignored the jealousy sprouting in his chest.

"Did you have a good day? Mmm?" Kylo leaned down to kiss her throat. He spoke into her neck, voice muffled. "You're far too clothed for my liking right now."

Alright, I can show myself out. Vicrul wasn't in the mood to join in on their sexual escapades tonight, even if he was invited. After spending the day with her, he didn't trust himself to keep his thoughts at bay. Especially not in front of his Master. He didn't look at them as he inched past, intent on slipping out without a word.

"Vicrul."

Goddammit. "Yes, Master?"

"Clean up for tomorrow's assignment. Your suit will be delivered tonight."

Vicrul frowned. "Suit?"

"Yes." He nodded. "I'm giving you the night off to release some of your...tension. And you'll want to dress accordingly."

"Thank you, Master," Vicrul said rigidly, adrenaline picking up in his veins. With everything going on, having a night off was the last thing they should be doing. But to keep M421 unsuspecting, he smiled instead. "I look forward to it."

"Wait," Miss Ren interjected, looking at Vicrul and then back up at the Supreme Leader. "Vicrul, in a suit? Where in the universe is our assignment tomorrow?"

Ren looked down at her with a contented expression. "We are going to Coruscant to celebrate the Festival of Life."

Excitement lit up her features. "The Festival of Life? Like for the new year?"

"Yes," he murmured, bringing a hand up to cup her face. "And I want everyone to see you, my girl, by the Supreme Leader's side."