。Alpha & Beta 。 (Bakugou Katsuki x Reader)

Refusal (Ch97)

Your eyes widened as you looked at the male, watching him struggle to hold back his tears as his complex began to crumble before you, his irises glossing over from the forced back tears sitting gently at the corners of his half lidded crimson eyes.

It was obvious how hard he was trying to keep himself together in front of you, his hands beginning to twitch as he used every ounce of energy he had left not to cry. You knew how he saw himself, and how desperate he was to keep up the thick wall he had spent so long building.

He's trying so hard just to stay strong. He's worried that if he cries I'll see him differently, or I'll look down on him for being so 'weak'. That's what he always thought, right? That's why Midoriya still cares for him, because he knows that what happened in the past was only a repercussions of his trauma, his complex.

You felt a string urge to reach out your hand towards him, built held yourself back. You had no idea what he was going through, and you really didn't want to test the waters, not like this. There was a chance you could hurt him or make things worse, and you refused to take that risk.

Instead, you gave him a gentle look, your eyes seeming to pierce his in an attempt to calm the enslaught of tears and overwhelming wave of negative and regretful emotions. "Katsuki...no one thinks that. You're not who he says you are, I promise."

He snapped at your words, his hands balling into fists as he finally let go, hot tears streaming down his already ruby red cheeks, his whole body shaking from anger, anger that he didn't feel for Shoto, but rather for himself and his actions.

"No one thinks that my ass! They said it themselves, I'm loud and I'll mannered, no one gives a shot unless it affects what their trying to do! Your the same as shitty Deku! How the fuck do I know you don't think the same thing?!" His yelled at you, his voice loud and overpowering as he began to scare you.

Your eyes flashed, the memories of your mothers harsh yelling matches and abuse flashing before your eyes. Small tears began to form in the corner of your face, your hands shaking as you struggled to push down the memories and move past them, trying to forget about the trauma that held you down like a snare in order to comfort the ash blonde in front of you.

"Katsuki please, you know I don't think that-" he interrupted you, moving towards you harshly and making you flinch in terror. "I DON'T KNOW SHIT!" Your body began to shake, tears running down your face as you tried to keep yourself from falling to your knees.

You felt yourself buckle before him as he pressed forward, his hand hitting the wall harshly as he pressed himself in front of you. Tears began to fall In front of your eyes, washing out everything around you and making it difficult to see.

In the hazy blur, his body seemed to fade away, replacing itself with that of your mothers figure, her eyes looking down on you with disgust and annoyance as she growled, her tongue running over her teeth. You watched as she seemed to grow closer, your back hitting the wall of Bakugou's dorm as 'she' cornered you. You leaned your head back, hot tears trembling down your cheeks. You were terrified.

You watched as his eyes widened, immediately moving back and clutching his shirt, his eyes wandering over your form in horror and regret. His lip trembled, wiping his eyes aggressively with his tensed palm. "S-shit...I'm sorry...Y/N....fuck!" You took deep and short breaths, looking at him in a desperate attempt to calm yourself.

He gripped your shoulders, shoving his head into your chest and shaking, his voice cracking under the overwhelming pressure he felt as he let his tears fall to the ground. "I-I'm sorry." You managed to place a shaking hand on his head, moving your palm around in his hair gently and softly to help calm him down.