Behind the Camera

Chapter Nineteen

"You know for someone who's in love with me you're acting painfully uninterested in me lately," I say as I grab a water from the fridge; turning to Erana who was sitting around the counter on a stool.

"It's not that I'm uninterested Mia," She says and looks up. She was looking over her lines for tomorrow.

"Then what is it? Can we talk now?" I ask and walk over to her sitting beside her. My back was against the counter and I leaned back on my elbows searching for any sign of emotion on her face. "Please?" I add once she doesn't reply.

She closes her script and turns to me looking me into the eyes.

I felt the butterflies swarming as her brown eyes stared right through my blue eyes.

"I just don't know how this will ever work," She shrugs and I furrow my eyebrows spinning in the chair so that I could be facing her completely.

"What do you mean?" I ask worried.

"I mean I don't think we should you know.. Continue whatever this is. The more we do the harder it's going to hurt in the end so why make it worse when we can prevent at least some of the heart break," She mentions while I just stare blankly at her calm face.

She really couldn't give two shits about me and that's clear as day now.

"Mia it's not that I don't like you, I love you," She says and touches my hand but I quickly pull away.

"I just think Sophias right as much as I hate to admit it.. Like I don't know why I'm not comfortable being with you around others.. I mean I do but-"

"Then tell me," I cut her off.

"Mia..." She says while looking away. "Tell me!" I demand slamming my hand on the counter and she looks over to me surprised I was putting my foot down finally.

My eyes began to sting with tears filling them up.

"I just want people to know us as friends. I like being your best friend Mia, nothing less and nothing more," She says, quieting her voice the last couple words she spoke.

"Yeah well you know Erana if you would've told me that in the first place we could've avoided this all!" I say standing up pacing with my hands on my forehead trying to think of ways to hurt her the way she's hurting me.

"Sure I was the one that wanted it from the start. I was the one obsessing over you right? I always have been but you can't act so innocent.. No you made me believe I had a chance to be with you.. Like an actual chance not this secretive bullshit we've been doing!" I yell and the tears escape from my eyes and stream down my face.

"I'm sorry Mia.. I didn't think it'd get so intense. I never didn't want to be with you I just don't think it's right or meant to be like my gut feeling-"

"I don't give a fuck about your 'gut feeling' Erana! Nothing you say will make me understand why you can't be with me.. Like honestly what is it? Is there someone else your 'gut' is telling you to be with?" I ask and throw my hands up before they fall back to my sides.

"I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have," She replies and I sarcastically laugh at her comment while my tears fall quickly. "Yeah well I can't be anymore hurt."

"Will you sit?" She asks looking me up and down, her head hanging low.

"No I don't want to sit Erana I want you to tell me the god damn truth already!"

"Okay fine! Yes there's someone else Mia!" She shouts immediately after I finish my sentence. "Fuck.." She mumbles and hides her face in the palms of her hands.

"Yeah well tell whoever it is that you're all there's. I could never be with someone as childish as you anyways," I say coldly as I grab my set of keys from the counter and throw on my shoes.

"Mia-"

"Go fuck yourself," I say as I walk out slamming the door behind me.

I exhale and let out a few cries as I walked to Sarah's room.

I knock on the door and Shannon opens it. I quickly wipe my tears and smile.

"Hey you okay?" She asks opening up her door for me to come in. I walk inside trying to make it as least noticeable as possible that I was upset before I turn back to her.

"Oh yeah I'm fine is um is Sarah here?" I ask and she nods. "She's in her room and I mean it's okay if you're not fine Mia, no one is gonna judge you," She reminds me and I nod sniffling.

"Come here," She insists pulling me into a tight and definitely needed hug.

Although hugging her made me realize my sad reality and I went right back to crying.

"Mia?" I hear Sarah's voice from the hallway and I quickly turn to her. "Hey," I say sarcastically and smile to her while tears were still falling. She walks over to me taking over as she hugs me.

"Let's go talk about it?" She suggests and I nod. "Shannon can come too," I mumble and look back to her watching us.

"If you want.." I add and she creases her eyebrows and nods, "Of course.. I'm here for you Mia, whatever it is," She reminds me and I smile weakly at her.

We head into Sarah's bedroom and all sit on the bed. My head in Sarah's lay as she played with my hair to distract me.

"Erana and I are done," I say after a few minutes of silence.

"What?" Shannon questions and I turn to her. "I mean I knew you guys were a thing but why are you done?" She asks. "How'd you know?" I reply back with another question.

"I mean I think everyone does it is painfully obvious," She mentions and I nod my head while exhaling looking up at the ceiling.

And here I am thinking I was so good at hiding it when in all reality people just didn't care enough to point it out.

"She told me there was someone else and kinda just pulled the 'my guts telling me I need to end this' card which I know is a load of shit.. I mean come on.." I sit up making myself upset remembering how heartless Erana is being. "I cared so much for her I did everything and more to prove how badly I wanted to be with her and god she played me so well for a second I was starting to believe we could actually work out.." I rant as Sarah rubs my back for comfort.

"I mean sounds to me like Erana was just testing out the waters and got a little too deep for her liking," Shannon says. "But there's no doubt in mine or anyone's mind that she isn't into you," She adds and I roll my eyes. "Yeah so into me right.. The least she could've done was told me sooner.." I say and they agree.

I spent the night talking to Sarah about the brunette girl who managed to steal my heart and rip it into a million pieces.

"You know if you don't want to go back you can crash here?" Sarah suggests and throws me a pillow from her closet. I smile nodding at her offer. "I'd love that," I reply.

"Could I shower too?" I ask and she nods and then proceeds to grab me two towels. "Thank you so much Sarah I don't know what I'd do without a friend like you.."

Honestly not sure what I'd be doing if it weren't for her..

Maybe listening to Sophia telling me she told me so a billion times or sitting outside my door not wanting to go in..

Who knows.. I'm just so grateful I have a safe place to talk freely and be myself around with Sarah.