Behind the Camera

Chapter Twenty

I walked through the silent empty hallway as I reached my door. Staring at the number '3' as if it had been staring back. It took me a few seconds before I could bring myself to unlock it and go inside but eventually I was able to.

I set my keys down on the table beside the door and slide off my shoes walking to my empty bedroom. I look into Erana's room and notice it's also empty.

Although I was curious as well as worried about Erana's whereabouts I decided to go on with my morning and throw myself together for work.

As I was getting dressed I heard a movement coming from Erana's room across the hall so I peak out the door. I only had a bra and some shorts on as I held my shirt in my hands.

I watch as she throws on a shirt and then looks down at her phone. I cringe to myself thinking about who she was probably talking to. Making it noticeable that I was home and could see her I push close my door loudly.

I grab my shoes and throw them on before looking in the mirror one last time.

"You know ignoring me and hating me isn't going to help you Mia," Erana says as she opens my bedroom door and stands in the doorway. "Yeah well talking to you isn't going to help me either," I snap back and grab my phone off the dresser before walking past her.

I could almost feel the guilt radiating off of her.. At least she has emotions that's a plus.

"Mia what are we gonna say when people ask if we're mad at each other?" She asks following behind me. "Don't worry Erana your dirty little secrete, which AKA me, is going to be kept." I assure her as I grab my keys.

"Wait," She says grabbing my wrist before I could walk out. I turn to her and we look into each others eyes. I'm not sure if she felt it but I still saw everything and so much more looking into her eyes.

"Spit it out, we have to leave," I insist as I pull my hand away from hers breaking eye contact. "I still want to be your friend.. Like I don't want that to be ruined. You can be pissed at me all you want for what happened but I still want to be happy around you and it not be awkward like this.." She stutters and I raise my eyebrows at her.

"Hmm.. Yeah I'm gonna need some time before I could ever be your friend. So from now on, keep your distance," I tell her as I turn my back to her once more opening up our door.

"Rise and shine my beautiful dimes!" Sophia says as she hugs Shannon waiting to get in the car. "I seriously don't know how you have so much energy right now," Sarah says yawning and I turn to her with a smile.

I may have kept her up way later than I should have but it honestly helped so much I wouldn't change it for the world.

"Pro tip, chug a whole cup of black coffee first thing in the morning and you'll feel like a brand new bitch! Promise you that ladies," She replies and I laugh at her comment.

I decide to sit next to Sarah today and I think everyone was surprised at the sudden change of seating.

Three days until I have to kiss Erana for the show again. Only three days.. We only have about a week left of filming.

The morning was the same old same old as well as the first few hours of filming. It's not that it's repetitive but in a way it is.

"You're so bad at hiding your emotions you know that?" I hear Erana's voice say from behind me and I look over my shoulder.

"Yeah well at least I have emotions," I snap back and turn to face her. She quickly looks around at the people surrounding us and shifts uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry I was just I don't know trying to-"

"Trying to what? Be my friend? No thanks," I say and she laughs under her breath visibly uncomfortable.

"Mia can you not?" She mumbles quietly and I look her up and down before turning and walking towards the trailers. I could hear her trailing behind me.

I open up the empty trailer door and leave it open for Erana to come in knowing she would.

"You know I don't really give two fucks if you're off talking to whoever but I do care that you just act like it's no big deal!" I say turning to face her after I hear the door close.

"I'm not trying to act like it's not a big deal.. I know it is but I don't want anyone to think we're not friends." She says and I laugh at her comment.

"We've never been just friends Erana and we both know that so cut the shit. Don't make me feel crazy for being upset over this all," I insist and she walks towards me.

"Mia can you just breath? For two seconds?" She asks quietly and grabs my hand with both of hers looking me in the eyes.

"You know I love you.." She adds and I look away shaking my head.

"Not the way I love you," I say and look to her to see some sort of reaction but I saw nothing.

"If that's what you think.. Just know I love you so much." She assured me and I look to her. "Please I'm literally begging you to not hate me for this. Let me be here for you still?"

I eventually give in and pull her into a hug. "I hate you," I whisper and she laughs in my shoulder wrapping her arms around my waste. "That makes two of us," She mumbles and I squeeze her.

No matter how hard I try I could never hate this girl. Nothing she does will ever come close to changing the way I feel about her.

I just hate how easily she let me go.. Just like I meant nothing  more to her than a simple friend. It makes me feel so stupid and vulnerable in the worst ways possible. It makes me second guess everything that's ever happened between us.

I don't get why she couldn't just say she wanted something with no feelings attached.. I mean I still would've been it but I would've definitely protected myself. I opened up to her in ways I've never done before with anyone else.

I'm so mad at her and I probably will be for a very long time but I can't let her affect my acting and that's what I'm going to put first from now on.

I guess I'll carry my acting into my reality and act as if Erana was never more than a friend.

I'll go right back to bouncing around talking to people and I'll shove that right in Erana's face. Even if she doesn't get jealous, it'll make me feel better.

I pull away and she wipes my tears smiling at me. My first reaction would be to kiss her but instead I simply smile back.

"We should.." She mumbles and I nod. "No yeah of course let's get back," I say and she nods back walking out of the trailer.

"I'll be out in a sec I just need a few to myself," I insist and she looks to me before closing up the door.

I take a few breaths and just try my hardest to clear my head.

It took a few minutes before I walked back to set and sat in my cast chair waiting to film my next scene.

I just have a few more days of filming before I can catch a break from it all.. I can do it.