Not For Show

Chapter 1 - " it's perfect for us"

" as much as I want to be with you right now, I can't. I can't leave Lia right now" he shook his head.

I tried saying something, anything. But nothing would come out. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. I wanted to cry but the tears had dried. So I did the only thing that I could, look at him.

I could feel like this would be the last time in a long time that I would be this close to him. He was going to be a father to another girl's baby while I would be left alone. We loved each other too much to be friends. We had to stay away from each other and I knew that.

So I took in all that I could of him. I looked at his brown hair. I looked at the way he stood. I looked at the way he played with his fingers when he was nervous. Lastly I looked into his beautiful green eyes. Those were the eyes I would remember for the rest of my life.

Then I was forced to watch him walk away from me for the last time. It was only after he closed the door behind him that tears finally streamed down my face.

Harry was out of my life now.

5 years later

I looked around and saw my new apartment surrounded by suitcases and boxes. The apartment wasn't big due to being in New York, you couldn't really expect any more. It reminded me of the last apartment I lived in before I moved from New York. This was exactly what I wanted, small and cozy. Being back in New York was exactly what I needed after years of being away.

Living in New York again was a scary thought. Here I was at risk of being exposed to everything I had been exposed to before. I know people were going to confront me and hate that I was back. People weren't going to understand the woman I had become. Yet, I felt prepared to handle all of that. I felt prepared to handle the life I was going to be handed once again.

" what do you think about the apartment?" I heard Liam asked from the kitchen.

" it's perfect for us" I smiled looking out at the view from the window.

" I thought so" Liam smiled as he walked back into the living room.

From the other side of the apartment I could hear little footsteps run towards us, causing a smile upon my face.

" momma, you promised my room was going to be pink!" my little girl pouted.

" well you're gonna have to blame your godfather" I shook my head with a smile.

The little girl turned her pouted lip towards Liam who was standing beside me.

" sorry Roy" Liam shrugged.

Roy's blonde hair locks covered half her face but she didn't seem bothered by as she walked back into her room. I didn't bother going after her because I knew that in any minute she would come right back out with her perfect little smile. Roy was never the type of kid to stay mad for long. She pretty much always had a smile on which helped me get through a lot of things.

" I'm worried for her, Liam" I confessed to him.

I looked up at him and he seemed to have the same expression that I did, a worried one. Liam witnessed Roy growing up as much as I did. He was there through everything and by everything I mean when I found out I was pregnant, to when I was giving birth, to now. Ever since then, he's protected Roy and I from absolutely everything, one of the many reasons Liam became her godfather.

But coming back to New York with her felt like no one could protect her. I knew that coming back into the industry meant that she would be attacked by the media and I would have no way to protect her. The world already knew about her but only what I had put out there. The media only knew that I had her and nothing more. They didn't even know her name. I had posted some pictures online but not for the attention. I did it so my fans would knew everything was going okay in my life. I owed them at least that.