Jess squeals behind me as I look at myself in the mirror. The white dress feels soft against my fingertips and tight on my waist. My breathing is heavier than when I walked in. Maybe because of the corset or because I'm nervous.
" Do you think I made the right decision?" I ask looking at her through the mirror.
" Nathan's an amazing man" Jesses tries to assure me.
" I'm talking about the dress, Jess" I groan turning around the glare at her.
" Sorry" she laughs.
The seamstress sits by my feet, placing in the right pins. I watch the woman handling the bridesmaid dresses call for more champagne. Another woman, slightly younger walks in with a tray holding two champagne glasses.
Jess takes a couple of sips from the champagne glass before placing the glass down on the side table. I take a sip a hand it back to the woman, scared about spilling it over the dress.
" I can't believe I get to call Roy my little niece in public now" Jess cheers.
I glare at her again running my fingers through my hair.
" Not in real public, not yet," I tell her. " I think we want to keep it to ourselves for now. Enjoy it before it becomes a circus"
" Ugh, I'm sick of the secret already" she playfully frowns.
Her phone rings and her eyes pop open. She stands up with the champagne in her hand. Jess chugs the rest of it before handing it to the woman next to her.
" I have to get going to that fitting I told you about" Jess frantically saying before giving me a hug goodbye. With her purse and cell phone in her hands, she rushes out of the bridal shop.
The room becomes quiet without Jess here.
I look at myself in the mirror again. I take in every detail of the dress. The cut. The lace. The way it makes me feel. My chest is heavy and my eyes begin to burn. I blink my tears away frustrated at myself. Why am I feeling this weight? These tears should be of happiness. This doesn't feel like happiness.
Once I leave the bridal shop, the weight is lifted off my shoulders. I rush over to the coffee shop down the street. Maybe I'm caffeine-deprived. It'll give me a pick me up.
Inside there aren't a lot of people inside. I make my way to the line and wait for my turn. The barista smiles at me as she writes down my name on my cup. After I pay, I stay next to the counter excited for my latte.
" Cailin"
I turn over to see Lia sitting on a tabletop with a coffee in her hand. She holds a smile on her face, the same kind she used to give me before...everything.
" Hi" I say sounding more like a whisper.
The barista calls out my coffee order forcing me to look away from Lia. I thank the barista before taking the coffee off the counter. Turning back around, I see Lia still looking over at me.
" Come, sit with me" she tells me.
I glance over at the seat across from her. Hesitation overwells me. But her smile is genuine. It's sweet. I nod as I walk towards her. Sitting across from her having a casual coffee isn't something I thought would ever happen again. The last time we were this was when I had just joined All Oblivion. Before Lia and Harry ever broke up. Before I ruined it all for them in the first place.
" Kian told me all about how Roy is his sister" she smiles.
" I'm so sorry, I should have warned you before we told him," I tell her suddenly feeling like I overstepped.
" It's okay" she shakes her head. " Harry actually let me know the night before. He was really nervous about it."
" Yeah, I noticed" I laugh.
Lia takes a sip of her coffee and I copy her movements.
" How is she taking everything?" Lia asks.
" I think she's doing really well, almost like she was waiting for it to happen," I tell Lia.
" What do you mean?"
" Ever since Roy met Harry and Louis' engagement party, she's loved him. She would call him Mr. Harry" I laugh. " But it's the little things that made me realize that she had already accepted him into her life."
" She's a smart girl," Lia tells me making my smile grow a little bit wider at her kind words.
" Roy's loved Kian from the start too, her best friend since we got here, it's genuine" I assure her.
" I know" she nods. " His love for her is too."
I wonder when it all clicked for her. I wonder when was it that she just knew Roy belonged to her husband. What were her initial thoughts? Was it anger or was it sadness? How often did Roy pop up in her mind? Did she hate Roy, even if it were for just a moment?
Her phone vibrates on top of the table. I glance over to see Zayn's picture on her screen. Immediately she turns the phone over ignoring his call. She looks back at me holding a nervous gaze.
" Zayn is really in love with you," I tell her.
She stays silent holding a small smile in the corner of her lips. Almost surprised at my words.
" He was really messed up after Willow. It took him a really long time to open up again" I say.
" I know" she nods her head.
I can still picture Zayn after Willow. He was so distraught. He would go through phases where it didn't seem that Willow was still on his mind, but then out of the blue things would change. He would either go weeks without answering any calls. Sometimes he would come to England and stay with us, only being able to talk about Willow.
He wanted to know every single detail about her, ones he didn't have time to learn. It was heartbreaking watching him grieve her. Mostly because I know she wouldn't have wanted to see him in that state.
" Does he still talk about her?" I ask Lia.
" Sometimes" Lia admits. " But not in the sad way he used to, now it's more of glimpses of happy memories."
Her words make me smile. It's a wave of relief I feel.
" Thank you," I say to her.
" For what?" she whispers.
" For being able to help him get through such a difficult time when no one else was able to" I nod.
Lia shakes her head.
" He did the work," she says. " He worked through it with professional help. I was just there for him as a friend."
" A friend?"
" Initially yes, but then feelings began to grow and things changed" Lia explains, seemingly ashamed.
I want to ask more. I want to know when did things change to the point where she felt that it was okay to push Harry to the side. But the look in her eyes is what stops me. She's embarrassed. Maybe because she crucified Harry for years and then did the same things. Or maybe because she blamed me for ruining her relationship until Zayn came along. She understands now. She understands why everything happened the way it did.
Her phone buzzes again. She flips it over to see Zayn on the screen again.
" I should get going anyway" I shrug.
Both of us pick ourselves up from the table grabbing our coffees ready to leave.
" You're coming to Kian's birthday right?" she asks before taking another sip from her cup.
" Harry mentioned it" I shrug.
" Then I will see you there" Lia nods with a smile. " You should bring your fiance too, I would love to meet him."
" Are you sure?" I ask.
" Of course" she nods. " We are all family now."
Words that I never thought I would hear coming from Lia.
YOU ARE READING
Not For Show
Fanfiction"Then I was forced to watch him walk away from me for the last time. It was only after he closed the door behind him that tears finally streamed down my face. Harry was out of my life now." Only now it's 5 years later and everything has changed. Th...
