Not For Show

Chapter 11 - " congratulations"

Cailin hadn't left my mind since the last time I saw her.

Our kiss hadn't left my thoughts.

That kiss only made it more obvious that we weren't truly over. There was still a chance for us. 

So here I stood, in the hallway leading up to her apartment. I needed to see her. But not like all those other times where I brought Kian along. This time I really wanted our interaction to be about us and no one else. I wanted to talk to her without any interruptions. I needed all that because I needed to let her know that truth.

I needed her to know that I was more in love with her now than ever.

Watching the strong independent woman she has become, has been one of the most eye opening things to witness. Comparing to the people we both were five years ago, it was obvious we had grown so much. I was no longer the guy who punched anyone who came in my way. I no longer was the guy who pushed people away. Cailin wasn't the girl who was tried to fix me anymore. She wasn't helplessly attached to me anymore. Even though I still clung onto that memory.

It's different when you have someone at your side at all times, even when you mess up a thousand times. But when Cailin discovered that she was better off without me, that truly made me grow up and become the man I am today.

Seeing Cailin again after all these years, it's brought back a lot of those memories of needing her by my side.

My hands shook as I slowly walked up to her apartment door. I wanted tonight to be the night where she would decide that I was good enough for her now. Back then I wasn't.

I pressed her doorbell button and waited as my stomach turned.

I smiled at myself because of this feeling. I hadn't felt this nervous in the longest time. Probably since the last time we saw each all those years ago.

I could faintly hear her footsteps come to the door. The door knob turned and the door opened. Her smile was evident, but it quickly faded as she saw it was me behind the door.

" Harry... what are you doing here?" she asked.

I could tell that maybe my presence wasn't quite welcome. But I didn't care, I came here on a mission. 

" can I come in?" I asked.

" I don't think that's a good idea" she shook her head softly as she held on to the door.

I nodded my head trying to understand her side of things.

" I wanted to talk to you.... about us" I started.

" Harry..." she said, " what happened the other night should have never happened. That was a mistake that sometimes two old friends make. I have my life now, and so do you" Cailin said.

My heart sunk a little from hearing those words come out of her mouth.

" well I don't think it was a mistake" I shook my head.

Cailin said as she looked at me. I could sense confusion behind her sigh. As if she was battling herself in a way.

" we were never a mistake, Cailin. We were simply two kids who weren't mature enough for each other back then. Looking at everything we went through back then, you don't think that it was for a reason? I think that we were put together for a much bigger reason than we realized. Do you even want to think about what could have become of me without you? If you weren't there to calm me down so many times. If you weren't there to protect me from my father? I wouldn't be here today. I wouldn't have my son" I smiled at her.

Even though Kian was the reason I left Cailin behind, there wasn't a day I regretted him, not a day. She knew that. She understood that.

" if you hadn't helped me after Carter..." she whispered to her herself

Cailin understood where I was coming from.

" I'm not here to drag out our past, but I am here to talk about our future. I want you. I want you to want to be with me. I want you to be in love with me again. Because I'm still in love with you. I've never stopped loving you. No matter what happened, you were always on my mind. You were the one I wanted next to me whenever something good happened in my life. When I first held my son, I wanted you there. When I performed at the Grammy's, I wanted you by my side. I will stop loving you. It's always been you, Cailin" I confessed.

The way her eyes looked at me, was a look that I wanted to hold in my memories forever. I wanted this moment to keep with me. This was the moment that I confessed my love awaiting for a response. A response that I wanted to hear so badly.

Her facial expression revealed something surprisingly though.

She seemed somewhat relieved. As if she had been waiting for this day to come for a long time. Her lips parted. Her eyes sparkled.

Then I heard foot steps. Foot steps coming from inside her apartment. As she turned her head around into her apartment, I could see a large suitcase sitting on the floor. Then I watched a guy walk towards us from inside the apartment.

" is that the pizza, babe?" he asked her.

Instead of responding, she looked back at me with a worried expression. I didn't realize what was going until I saw the guy wrap his arm around Cailin's shoulder.

" um.. no..." she said quietly.

The guy looked at me for a couple of silent seconds before Cailin said something again.

" Nathan, this is Harry, an old friend of mine" Cailin introduced us.

Nathan stuck his hand out to me and shook my hand. The guy was maybe only an inch shorter than I was, which made him pretty tall. He had a bit of scruff on his face and looked a little tired. Maybe from the traveling due to his suitcase.

For some reason I still couldn't say anything. My words were knotted in the back of my throat, realizing that maybe she had moved with someone else.

" it's always nice meeting Cailin's old friends. I'm Nathan" he smiled.

" my fiance" Cailin announced still looking straight at me.

With those two words, ever ounce of hope for the both of us diminished. This man in front of me, Nathan, was with the love of my life and I felt like there was nothing I could do. My whole confession for my love for her, just minutes ago, had meant nothing.

Looking at her now, I knew that this was the man she had decided to spend the rest of her life with, instead of me. Nathan was the better choice. I could see it in her eyes that she didn't want me to say anything drastic. Cailin didn't want me to ruin this for her.

" congratulations" I choked out.

~

The mystery about Nathan is finally revealed!!

What do you guys think????

I'm in the middle of writing the next chapter so hopefully it'll be out soon!!

love you guys <3