Not For Show

Chapter 31 - " They're sweet together, aren't they?"

Lia's POV

Everyone has started to arrive. Kian is as happy a five-year-old could be. He's the first one to pull his friends arriving into the bouncy house. 

It's not his day that's making my hands shake. It's that everyone will be here today to celebrate my son. It's the first year that Harry and I are separated. The first year that Zayn will be here as my boyfriend. Also the first year that Cailin will be here, with her fiance. It'll either be amazing or a disaster. I can't stop playing all the horrible scenarios that could happen.

I assist the party planner with finalizing the table setups as I watch some of Kian's friends arrive with their parents. Friends I've made at the yoga studio or on movie sets. Known that I consider close though.

" Everything looks great" 

I glance over to see Zayn standing next to me. I look up at him with comfort washing over me. I feel guilty every time I compare the two, even in my own head. Zayn has given me the kind of comfort I never felt with Harry. I didn't know I could feel this kind of safe haven.

I loved Harry, but in so many different ways. Zayn showed my love that is always reciprocated. Harry never gave me that. I always felt like I was the one fight for the relationship. Zayn has never made me feel that way. Bu the guilt of that man being Zayn, Harry's friend still haunts me.

" Thank you" I say as he leans down to give me a soft kiss on the lips.

He places his hand on my lower back as he pulls away.

" Everything is going to turn out great" Zayn assures me with a sweet smile.

Harry stands by the bouncy house next to Louis as they watch the kids on the bouncy house. He's only said a couple of words to me today, trying to stay civil I assume. But this isn't just about Zayn anymore. Harry's upset that I knew bout Roy. How should I have been the one to break the news to him?

" Just please stay away from Harry" I beg him. " I just don't want some small interaction to turn into this big altercation."

" I wouldn't want to ruin this day for Kian" he says.

I nod taking a deep breath preparing myself for what's to come.

I look over to see Cailin walking into the backyard with Roy running ahead of her with the widest smile. Behind Cailin walks in her fiance, the man I saw in the photos all over twitter a couple of weeks ago.

I keep glancing over at Cailin watching her interact with old friends. She introduces her fiance to some people. They're beautiful together.

It's Roy that catches my attention when she runs straight into Harry's arms. I watch them together for the first time. He crotches down onto his knees while she wraps her arms around Harry's neck. Harry's smile as he wraps his arms around the little girl makes a single tear run down my face. He's missed out on all the special moments of her life so far. He would have loved being a father to a baby girl just as much as he loved having a boy.

 I quickly wipe my tears away as they pull away from each other, hoping no one is watching me. But it's Zayn's eyes I see as I look away from Harry and Roy. He tries giving me a comforting smile but it's guilt that I feel, again.

Roy points at Harry's bracelet then at her blue hair bow. He chuckles before picking her up and placing her in the bouncy house with Kian. As they jump around with laughter surrounding them. Harry doesn't take an eye off of them as Louis talks to him. He's just as protective over her as he is with Kian. 

" They're sweet together, aren't they?"

I glance over to see Cailin has replaced Zayn next to me.

" Yeah" I sigh.

" Makes me wish things would have turned out differently" she confesses.

" Me too" I whisper.

Cailin's POV

A couple of tears escape Lia's eyes. She says nothing before running inside. I look around making sure no one noticed her abrupt exit. Looking back at the kids, I watch them laugh together.

I walk over to greet Louis and Harry while Nathan continues talking to Zayn. With a quick glance back I watch Zayn and Nathan chuckling with each other, the same way they used every time Zayn would come to England. Zayn's the friend that Nathan been the most comfortable with, apart from Liam.

" Hello boys" I say.

Louis and Harry both turn around to see me only a couple of feet away from them. Louis smiles immediately with his arms spread open to hold me. He gives me a tight squeeze before letting me go. Harry waits for my direction before making any moves. Maybe because Nathan is here. Maybe because everyone else is here today.

" Hey" I say softly to him before leaning over and giving him a kiss on the cheek. I can feel one of his hands hover over my lower back. He holds himself back from touching me.

I pull away and stand in the middle of them.

" So where's the album, Cai?" Louis asks.

" Coming out next week!" I grin.

" That's exciting," Harry says casually.

" Yeah" I nod. " Although I feel like the person who finished writing months ago is a completely different person than who I am now."

" It happens" Louis tries assuring me.

" No, like I could honestly write a completely whole different album right now" I laugh.

" I'm like that too" Harry nods.

" Yeah, but you haven't released an album in years" Louis teases him.

" I'm actually almost finished with my new one" Harry admits.

" A new album?" I ask surprised at the news.

Harry nods with a soft smile. It's like he's almost nervous for anyone to hear it. I wonder if this is how he felt when he released the last album. The one he dedicated to me.

" Well, we still have a bunch of things to add" Louis shrugs.

"As Cailin said, we are completely different people even if it's only months," Harry says before taking a sip of his drink.

The album about to come out is like my diary. About my experience over the past several years. Including the things, I wasn't ready to talk about on my first solo album. But as the release of this album comes closer, the farther away I feel from it. 

" Hey"

I look over to see Nathan standing next to me with his hand wrapping around my waist. Nathan greets Louis casually. It's an awkward second when Nathan greets Harry. We all feel it but Nathan makes the best out of the situation. 

" Louis, how did the honeymoon go?" he asks.

We listen to Louis talk all about Australia with Stella. Nathan's grip around my waist tightens an inch. I glance over at him to see Nathan paying attention to Louis. But when I glance over at Harry his eyes are on Nathan's hand around my waist. I look away trying to swallow any feelings that begin to creep up.