Not For Show

Chapter 8 - "she is strong and she is brave"

" where are we going, mama?" my little girl asked as she looked out the window of the car.

" we're going to mama's work. Aren't you excited?" I smiled down at her.

Roy immediately smiled excitedly.

The driver took us towards the back of the building where no would be be able to see us arrive. Today was the day that I would be announcing my return. This whole announcement had only been planned for the past two weeks. I didn't even want people in the industry to know much about it, I knew that anything would get spread fast.

The car soon stopped and the driver opened the door for us. Roy, Chloe and I made it into the building accompanied by two security guards. Liam had already been here since early this morning making sure everything was going the way we planned. Walking down the hallways, we bump into the the host of the show.

When deciding on who's talk show it would announced on, I decided to go on someone's who was light hearted. Ellen Degeneres. She was the perfect choice. Normally she shows were taped a week prior to it being aired, but this show was going to be live due to it being its 2,000th episode. She had tons of guests from the past and her friends being joined on stage. I was the surprise that was going to be announced. Talking to her on the phone made me feel to relaxed and welcome to come on her show. She was excited for my return.

By the time we arrived at my dressing room, I still had two hours before I had to hit the stage. Within those two hours, I had my hairdresser and make-up artist work on me as I did my vocal warm-ups. Best part was when Roy trying copying me. Little did people know that that she actually did know how to sing.

My phone vibrated as a text message arrived.

Good luck, I know you'll do great you always do  - H

I smiled down at my phone like an idiot. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, he still managed to affect me in so many different ways. As of now, our relationship consisted of a light friendship. For now, that was okay. I just didn't know what it would become. I didn't wanted it to be any more, that time had passed. Realistically, having any sort of relationship with him was a bad idea. I had people I had to think about first.

It all centered back to Roy. I wasn't ready for Harry to find out she was his. She wasn't prepared for that either.

As I played patty cake with Roy, I carefully looked at her innocence. I carefully heard her laughter. I wanted her to be like this forever, happy. But I wondered if by me keeping Roy away from her father, it would affect her in horrible ways.

" time to go on, Cailin" I heard.

I looked up to see Liam smiling down at me. I smiled back as I prepared for the next few minutes. I took Roy's hand and walked with everyone else towards the main stage. Roy made all my nerves disappear as she made me skipped along the hallway with her. She made me realize that all that mattered was the love I felt for music.

Getting the the side on the main stage, I was handed a mic. 

" good luck, momma" Roy said up at me.

I bent down to her height and gave her a kiss on the forehead. As the crew started setting up my mic, I watched Chloe take Roy's hand and take her down towards the stage where they would be able to watch the show. Looking through the curtains I could see Ellen standing there making some stand up jokes. I was too focused on my performance to really hear them.

" Cailin" 

I looked up to see Liam standing in front of me.

" you're going to do great" he tried assuring me.

I smiled over at him as tears started forming in my eyes. 

" what's wrong?" he asked

" nothing...everything I guess" I smiled over at the crowd of people.

" what do you mean?" Liam asked.

" I'm just really happy" I laughed as a couple of tears spilled down my cheeks

As I heard Ellen start to introduce me, my attention went to her completely.

" my next performer today, has become such an amazing women over the years that I have known her. She is strong and she is brave. That is why today I am so thankful that she has chosen this place to announce her comeback" Ellen said over the microphone.

Without even announcing my name, my song began playing. It still all part of the surprise. Still hidden behind the curtains, the first few words of my songs escaped from my lips onto the microphone. I could hear the crowd cheer even if they still hadn't known it was me behind it all.

As my song hit a certain beat, I revealed myself from behind the curtains and onto the stage. The reaction I got from the crowd as they saw me was something I had only dreamt about. The smiles and the cheers made me want to break down right then from joy. But I didn't. I continued singing through my whole song with an unbreakable smile.

Looking over to see my baby girl watching me live out my dream had to be one of the best feelings ever. It made me only want to do a better job at what ever I set my mind to do. Because I knew that my daughter would be there watching me.

When my song finished, the crowd cheered. They wouldn't stop cheering and smiling. That's when the tears started flooding down my cheeks.

" Thank you" I choked into the microphone.