For a moment I was feeling like I had you. Didn't wanna leave, but I had to. It's a quarter after 3. Saying everything we need - Bazzi
Julian Draxler 🇩🇪German National Team🇩🇪 🔵PSG🔴
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I let out a genuine laugh. Something I haven't done in months. Maybe being back home has something to do with it. Maybe spending time with Nina has something to do with it. Maybe us listening to 2000s music and the feeling of nostalgia has something to do with it.
I have my arms wrapped around her. Being away for so long made me forget how perfectly she fits in my arms. Our legs are entangled under the blanket. I feel her back rested against my chest. Me trying to savour every moment with her.
I've learnt long ago that the plane ride back to Paris comes faster than you expect it to. I've learnt to cherish every single moment with her because once I'm back it's weeks without seeing her. I've learnt to hold her tighter, to make her smile more, to make as many memories before I have to leave.
She's singing along to some Avril Lavigne song. She's a terrible singer. Honestly horrendous. But that's why I love her, never letting her lack of talent stop her from reciting every lyric of the song.
"You're awfully quiet, JuJu," she says turning around so our chests are pressed together. "I'm just thinking," I say kissing her forehead. "Julian Draxler thinking, well the world is clearly on the brink of collapse then," she says sarcastically. "Why do you hate me?" I ask with a laugh. "It's definitely your face. It's so cute it's annoying as hell," she says. "That's sounds like someone who's going to miss me," I say raising an eyebrow. "Pssht, not," she says rolling her eyes. "I love you," I say kissing the tip of her nose. "And I love you," she says.
We sit in silence for a while longer until the playlist is finished.
"I'm seriously craving a McFlurry," she says out of nowhere. "Hate to break it to ya hun, but everywhere is closed," I say with a laugh. "Reminds me of when you'd have a home game and we'd get ice cream if you won," she says. "That was what? 6 lifetimes ago?" I ask. "I was thinking more 7 lifetimes ago, but who's counting?" She says with a laugh. "It's crazy thinking about how different things were back then," I say. "Having you in Germany for most of the year was fun," she says. "Feels weird knowing I once lived full time in one country," I say with a laugh. "Can I ask a serious question?" She asks. "Sure," I say. "Do you see us working out in a few years time?" She asks. "Of course, why wouldn't we?" I ask. "For starters, I'm full time in Germany and you're in France. I can't move there and you can't move back here. So what happens when we want to get married or have kids?" She asks. "There's always other options. Maybe we can move to England or I can come back to Germany, maybe just move to another city?" He says. "Is that really what you want?" She asks. "Eventually we all leave PSG so it's either sooner or later. And when it comes to marriage and having a family, there's literally no one on planet Earth that I'd want to do it with, except you," he says. "I wish it wasn't like this," she says. "I know, but it is and we just have to embrace it," I say. "Easier said than done," she says. "Remember when I was first leaving for PSG and we sat on this very couch wondering how we were going to make the long distance work. And I literally said I have no clue what we're doing. And now 2 years later we're still together and we somehow found a way to make things work. That's what starting a family will be like. Eventually everything will work out," I say taking hold of her hand. "And you honestly believe that?" She asks. "With every bone in my body," I say. "Well I guess it's worth a try," she says. "Are you unhappy in our relationship?" I ask feeling a bit hurt. "No no, of course not. The Universe knows I love you more than anything. Our relationship is just harder than it is easier," she says. "And you think it shouldn't be that way," I say. "Yeah. I feel like we're both missing out on normal relationship things, like making dinner and going grocery shopping," she says. "Do you resent me for moving to France?" He asks. "Of course not. You did what you had to do, and me staying in Germany was what I had to do. No one can us fault for that," she says. "If you had the chance to go back in time to when we met, would you do it all over again or turn the other way around?" He asks. "I don't think that's a fair question. I know you want me to say that all the distance is worth it and I'd do it over in a heartbeat, but that's not entirely true. Sure if I had the choice to meet you as an accountant or a lawyer, I'd rather do that and avoid being alone for 8 months of the year," she says. "So it's my job," he says, "you never did like me playing football." "It's not that I don't support your football career, it's just difficult to fully understand when I see my friends who are in relationships with guys who have 9 to 5 jobs and I can't help but want that for me," she says. "Just admit it, I was never 'smart' enough for you, or your family for that matter," I say raising my voice. "I don't understand what you're getting mad for. If that's really how I felt, I wouldn't still be with you. You're projecting some stupid insecurity onto me, that you probably read in some low-budget tabloid," she says. "It's just I can't help but feel so stupid when I'm with you and all your fancy job friends. You're all talking about smart things and all I can talk about is nutmegging someone," I says "Trust me, having you at that table is a breath of fresh air. Maybe you can't talk about chemical compounds and derivatives, but your stories about all the places you've travelled to and all the cool people you've met, they eat that stuff up," she says with a laugh. "So can we maybe pretend the last 10 mintues of me being insecure didn't happen?" I ask with a laugh. "I love you so much Jules. I would not want to be here at, what time is it?" She says looking at the time, "a quarter after three, with anyone else. Even if you can't find a derivative to save your life" "I'm gonna miss your smart ass when I get back," I say with a laugh. "It's just 8 months," she says sarcastically. "Child's play," I say kissing her on her forehead.
