Football Imagines

Havertz 💔 Champagne Problems

Sometimes you just don't know the answer, 'til someone's on their knees and asks you - Taylor Swift

Kai Havertz
🇩🇪German National Team🇩🇪
🔵Chelsea FC🔵

I make my way over to Kai's apartment. We got into a bit of a fight last week and haven't spoken since.

The fight was just like every other. I brought up Katarin. He got defensive. The problem remains unresolved.

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"You at least owe me honesty. Are you still in contact with her?" I demand.
"I told you already, I haven't spoken to her since we broke up," he says.
"You say that all the time, but I'm starting to have a hard time believing it," I say.
"You just want to find something to fight about. I'm telling the truth," he says.
"Then how do you explain calling me by her name if you supposedly broke up years ago?" I ask.
"It was a mistake," he says.
"Or did you meet up with her when you went home for international duty? Is that what you're hiding from me?" I demand.

He goes silent which gives me all the answers I need.

"Screw you Kai. Don't lie to me about you being over her and then the second you're away from me, you see her," I say storming out his apartment.
"You don't understand," he says following me.
"What's not to understand. You still love her and I'll never be able to compete with her. It's crystal clear," I say leaving.

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You don't accidently call me by your ex's name after 2 years of dating and expect me to believe it's an innocent mistake. I always knew he thought about her, I just didn't know he would go behind my back and see her. Which makes me wonder how many times it's happened.

I want to believe him when he says things are really over with her, but I'm having a hard time doing so. Part of me doesn't blame him. She has beautiful, blonde hair and models for a living. I could never compare with my dull brown hair and mundane office job.

I get to the front door and use my set of keys to open. I'm met with rose petals leading me down the passage.

I subconsciously gulp not knowing what Kai has in store. I slowly follow the petals as it leads me to the balcony door where they stop. As I get to the door I can see Kai standing at the end of the balcony with the skyline as a backdrop.

I make my way over still as nervous and anxious as the second I walked in.

"Whatcha got planned here, Kai?" I ask refering to the petals and suspense.
"I made the biggest mistake a few days ago," he says.
"And how many more times were you going to make that mistake, if I didn't call you out on it?" I ask.
"Look, I'm sorry," he pleads.
"I just don't understand why you'd do it," I say.
"Because I'm an idiot. I fell back into an old habit. And you don't deserve that," he says.
"What really happened between you two?' I ask.
"We met up after a game," I says.
"And..." I ask.

He remains silent which can only mean one thing.

"And let me guess, one thing led to another," I say.
"I'm so sorry, you've got to believe me," he pleads.
"Was it the first time this has happened?" I ask.
"No," he says avoiding eye contact.

I clench my fist in anger.

"So every time you came home from Germany, you looked me in the eye and said you missed me when you were with another girl the whole time?" I ask angrily.
"I'm sorry. But I swear, I'll never do it again. You're the one I love, and want to be with" he says.
"Even if you are being sincere in your apology, it doesn't take away from the fact that it happened. You cheated. How am I supposed to look past that and trust that it'll never happen again?" I ask.
"I know I haven't given you much reason to trust me, but please believe me when I say that I don't want to do this without you. I want to come home to you. And build a future with you. Kathrin was a big part of my future but I know now that I need to put that behind me and prioritize what we have," he pleads.
"How am I supposed to believe that?" I ask.
"Because of this," he says getting down on one knee.

"I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I'm an idiot for what I did, but almost losing you, made it clear how I never ever want to lose you again. I want us and all our problems and all the good times we have together. Analena Obermann, will you marry me?" He asks opening a small black box to reveal the most beautiful ring I've ever seen.

It's true when they say you just don't know the answer until someone's on their knees and asks you. I thought I knew what I wanted, but the last few days have showed me that I have no idea. I thought Kai would be the man I'd marry, and we'd have the whole "perfect family" thing going for us. But the second her name left his mouth, I knew what I wanted was nothing but a mirage. He couldn't move on and I couldn't come close to being as good as her. Damn Katarin.

"I'm sorry, Kai, I can't do this," I say.

The shock and confusion is evident on his face.

"You can't as in no?" He asks.
"No, I can't marry you," I say taking two steps back.

He awkwardly stands up again.

"I always thought I'd be overcome with joy when you'd ask me to marry you. But when it happened, all I could think about was you telling me that you loved me. And I wondered if you were actually thinking about her. I can't compete with her, I don't want to. I can't shake the feeling that if you ever had to choose between her and I, you'd choose her in a heartbeat. And I can't live with that over my head, I don't deserve it," I say.
"I would always choose you," he says.
"Then why would you see her on multiple on occasions when you were with me? That's not choosing me over her, Kai," I say shaking my head.
"It was a mistake and this is me trying to rectify it," he says.
"I'm sorry. I deserve someone that will give me 100%. You can't give me that if you still think about her," I say.
"So this is what you really want?" He asks.
"It's not ideal, but I'm not going to marry someone if I'm not totally sure. After what happened, I don't think I'll ever feel sure around you," I say.

He stands in silence.

"I love you Kai, I just don't think this is for us," I say, "I should probably get going."

He turns his back to me.

"I wish it didn't have to end like this," I say walking to the door.

I turn around one last time when I leave my spare set of keys on the kitchen counter. I sigh sadly as his back still faces me.

This is the right thing for me. It has to be.