Football Imagines

Kai / Brandt💔 Traitor [Part 1]

You didn't cheat, but you're still a traitor - Olivia Rodrigo

Kai Havertz
🔵Chelsea 🔵
🇩🇪German National Team 🇩🇪

I mervously pick up my phone to text Kai to ask if I can come over.

It's been a few weeks since the Euros and I've been putting off that inevitable conversation, but I feel like he deserves the truth and waiting any longer would only make things worse.

I put on minimal make up, not having any will to make myself up knowing what I'm walking into, knowing what pain I'm about to inflict.

I walk out my empty apartment, knowing that when I return things are going to be very different.

I slowly make my way to his apartment dreading it with every step I inch closer.

I take a deep breath as I find myself at his front door.

He opens the door with a smile, which on a normal day, would make my heart burst, but today, things have turned on their head.

"Can I get you anything?" He offers
"No thanks," I say sitting down on his couch.
"So what's up?" He asks sitting down next to me.
"We need to talk," I say letting out a deep breath.
"Well that's not the best way to start a conversation," he says.
"I don't know how to do this without seeming like a complete asshole," I say.
"What are you talking about?" He asks.
"Before I explain, I want you to know that I never wanted to hurt you. This was never my intention. Everything happened so suddenly and I couldn't control it, much less stop myself from feeling the things I do," I say.
"You're starting to worry me," he says.
"I'm so sorry Kai," I say as the tears start brimming in my eyes.
"Sorry for what, you need to tell me what's going on," he says.
"It started when we went out on the boat before the Euros. Julian and I had a moment at the back of the boat," I say.
"You kissed Julian?" He asks.
"No, I never kissed him, he never kissed me, but we did talk. And I mean, 2AM kinda talk where you're spilling your guts to the other person. And we almost kissed, but we didn't. But I felt something between us and he felt something too," I say.

He starts shaking his head the minute he knows where this is going.

"I respect you and he respects you-" I say before he interupts me.
"No, clearly neither of you respect me, because you wouldn't be sneaking around behind my back," he says angrily.
"I promise, nothing has happened between us. I couldn't live with myself knowing that I did something while I was still with you," I say.
"So when you said you couldn't make it to support me at Euros because of work, you lied so you could spend time with him and not worry about me finding out," he says.
"I didn't plan for things to go that way. I just needed to know if there was really something between us without ruining what we had," I say.
"Do you even hear how crazy you sound?" He asks.
"I thought maybe if I started distancing myself from you, it'll hurt less when I actually tell you," I ask.
"And how's that working for you. I defended you when my family asked me why you weren't there. Do you know how stupid I feel now?" he says.
"I'm sorry Kai, I never intended to hurt you. I couldn't have this conversation with you then in the fear that it would hurt your performance at the Euros," I say.
"Well I'm glad you had the decency to sneak around my back so as to not hinder my performance," he says sarcastically.
"It's not like that," I say.
"Then do share what it's like," he says.
"I willed myself to fall in love with you. I tried my hardest to keep my distance from Julian. But I can't apologise for the way I'm feeling about him. I've told him things I've never told you or my parents. The comfort I feel when I'm with him is something I can't overlook as nothing. And I can apologise till I'm blue in the face, and I'd mean every single word, but I don't think it'd change anything," I say.
"D'you think you're in love with him?" He asks.
"I don't know, but I do what to explore that possibility," I say.
"So you're telling me that you want to one day start a family with me, only for you to fall in love a few days later with one of my best mates," he says.
"I never lied when I said that to you, I still love you, it would take a lot for me to stop loving you, but when the opportunity to love and be vulnerable presents itself, I can't deprive myself of that," I say.
"Even when it presents itself in the form of your boyfriend's best mate," he says.
"I swear, it's not Julian's fault. This is all on me. I decided that I want to have this conversation with you. I decided that I want to see where things go with us. I don't want you to hate him for something that's not his fault," I say.
"So you just expect me to believe that you leaned in and tried to kiss him. And he wasn't trying to make you laugh and impress you at all," he says.
"I don't want this to change the friendship that you two have with each other," I say.
"Well maybe you should've thought of that before you fell for my best friend. You know you didn't cheat, but you're still a traitor," he says storming off.
"I can't take back how I feel about him," I say.

He comes back a few seconds later with his eyes red with tears. He hands me a box.

"Maybe you and Julian can put it to use," he says as I open the box.

In the box stands the most beautiful ring I've ever seen. I close the box immediately willing myself to not start crying.

"Julian and Samantha helped me pick it out actually. I guess it makes this even more ironic. I had a weekend in Greece planned for us where I was going to pop the question. At least I can get a refund on the accomodation now," he says shrugging his shoulders.
"I'm so sorry," I say at a loss for words.
"I just wish you'd have told me sooner," he says.
"This is all happening so quickly, I myself don't know what's going on," I say.
"I want to say I wish you two the best, but that would be a lie, because right now, I can't even look at you" he says.
"And I completely understand, you don't have to be okay with this, I just want you to know that I never planned on any of this happening," I say.
"You should probably go," he says.

I silently leave the box on the coffee table in front of me. As I walk to the door.

"It's not to say I never loved you," I say.
"You just have too much love to go around," he says.
"I'm sorry Kai," I say was I get to the door.
"So am I, for falling in love with you" he says.

I give him one last look before he closes the door only for me to see him again years later.

Instead of going back to my apartment, I stop on my way to the supermarket to grab two beers.

I knock on Julian's door with a subtle smile on my face. I'm leaning against the door frame when he opens the door.

I stretch my hand out with the beer when a smile spreads across his face.

"Kara De Villiers in broad daylight at my door with a beer. This must be heaven," he says with a smile.
"This is long over due," I say with a mischievous smirk as I close the door to his apartment.

I place my hands on his cheeks and pull him closer to me. He rests his hands on my waist as he presses his lips against mine. I feel the warmth of his chest pressed against mine. We both break apart with a smile, both slightly out of breath.

"This is our first kiss, but, I've missed you," he says with a smile.