My favourite High School Musical character was always Gabriella. And now it's all making sense. I'm always leaving.
I wish it wasn't like this. I wish Marco and I would've gotten a better love story. It's what we deserved.
I keep telling myself that Switzerland is only a few hours away. We'll make things work, but I know that I'm just fooling myself. We won't work. I won't be there at games. He won't be there when I have a rough day at work. I won't be there to make birthday breakfast. He won't be there to be my pillow when I fall asleep on the couch. Everything was going to change, so maybe it's better to leave things while they were great. Where the memories were happy, and the tears in my eyes came from laughter, not the shattering distance between Dortmund and Zürich.
I remember going to sleep last night praying that somehow the sun wouldn't come up. Sunrise, means jumping on that plane and never looking back.
I feel a huge weight on my shoulders as I open my eyes to Marco and I's bedroom. I turn over and reach out for his hand. He turns to lay on his back and I proceed to rest my head on his chest.
A silent tear falls from my eyes as we both lay in silence.
"No tears bubs," he says gently squeezing my shoulder. "I didn't think this day would come so soon, I'm actually about to leave the city I've lived in my whole life," I say. "Dortmund won't be the same without you," he says. "This is good for us right? The whole, not trying to make it work?" I ask. "It is," he says before we slip back into silence, "we both know how it was going to end. I'd much rather have my last memory of us be a fond one."
We head to my favorite breakfast spot with Manuel and Melanie.
"If there's one thing I'll miss about Dortmund, it'll be the weather and this breakfast," I say. "How are you feeling about the move?" Melanie asks. "It's bitter sweet. I'm excited about moving up career wise, but I think I might just miss Marco a wee bit," I say with a laugh and I grab his hand. "I'm gonna miss you so much at games," Melanie says. "I'm gonna miss you too, now I'll be spending my weekends eating Swiss cheese," I say rolling my eyes. "Sounds terrible," she says with a laugh. "Just pinky swear you'll visit me during international breaks," I say. "Of course, Melanie and Victoria take on Zürich, has a nice ring to it," she says with a laugh. "So are you guys still let on the, "if you love them let them go," trip?" Manuel asks, "Yeah," I say letting out a sigh, "it's probably for the best." "But enough of the sad adult stuff, you're still here," Marco says squeezing my hand.
We finishing off eating our food talking about everything and nothing. Halfway between beer and the chaos in the Akanji household, I realized how much I was going to miss everyone in Dortmund.
The tears start brimming in my eyes which I'm unable to stop.
"Hey what's up, I thought my little monster's antics would've made you laugh," Melanie says refering to my tears. "I'm just really gonna miss you, Mel," I say with a sad smile. "Don't worry, I'm always one facetime away," she says as her eyes start to well up. "Well before I start crying, maybe we should get going," Manuel says. "Yeah, we still gotta drive to the airport," Marco says in agreement.
We pay the bill and walk into the street where our cars are parked.
"Before you leave," Melanie says before getting something out of their car, "your going away gift."
She hands me a journal with a map and the words "Dortmund" written across it.
"For all your adventures," she says with a smile.
I open it up to see a pictures of us together with a note written.
For all the amazing stories you'll have on your travels. No matter where you are in the world, we'll always have our Signal Iduna Park adventures. Love you the most - Mel xxx
"I'm actually going to cry," I say pulling her in a hug, "thank you so much." "I'm gonna miss you stacks," she says as we break apart, "make the most of it Vic." "I will," I say trying to hold back my tears, "Manuel." I say outstretching my arms for hug.
"Thank you for everything," I say letting go, "best of luck for the rest of the season." "Don't give the Swiss too hard a time," he says with a laugh. "They won't know what hit them," I say with a laugh, "alright, so this is it I guess."
Melanie gives me one last hug before they get into their car and drive off.
I breath out heavily as I hide my face in Marco's chest.
"How the hell am I going to do this?" I ask as the tears start falling uncontrollably.
Marco doesn't say a word as he holds me closer until I stop crying.
We make our way to the airport which seems too short for my liking. Marco held my hand the entire way, not wanting me to see the few tears in his eyes. We start on the tedious task of getting out all my bags.
Here I am, 29 years of my life packs into one suitcase and a backpack.
Here I am about to embark on the craziest journey of my life.
We check in my bags as the time comes closer to when I have to leave.
We stand at the gate where our paths separate. I wrap my arms around Marco with him not holding back any tears this time.
"I wish things played out differently for us," he mumbles. "I know, feels weird being on the other side of an airport goodbye, normally it's you" I say. "Only this time it's permanent." he says. "No going back. This is the be all end all," I say with tears in my eyes. "Rest assured that you have made me the happiest man for the past 5 years," he says. "And you have made me so happy," I say letting him go. "I will always love you Vic," he says with a smile "I love you too," I say sadly. "Now go make me proud," he says before I leave.
I squeeze the straps on my backpack hoping it will distract me from crying my eyes out in public.
That was it. Saying good bye to the past 5 years of my life. Marco. Dortmund. My old high school. My childhood home. My first job. Every memory I ever made.
I really hope I'm not making a mistake. I hope that our decision to leave things as they are wasn't the wrong one. I hope that I didn't leave behind a great man because of a few kilometers between us.
Marco Reus. I couldn't thank you enough for the past 5 years. You have made them the best of my life.
