The Daughter of He

Chapter 23

"Do you like it?" I asked, as I watched him slowly make his way onto the roof. I watched him take it all in, feeling my heart inflate when I saw wonder pierce his eyes and a grin light up his face. He looked like a child seeing the stars for the first time.

I had strung lights around the perimeter of the roof and had a tent and ton of blankets and pillows and snacks in the dead center. Rose petals covered floor and candles were strategically placed around the roof. Music from the old record player I had bought a few years ago sang sweetly from its spot near corner of the roof, the tune filling the air with warmth of its melody.

Draco through his arms around me, bringing me into a tight embrace, "I love it." He choked, pulling back to stare into my eyes.

I planted a kiss on his cheek, not able to help myself. He was so cute and he looked so care free and joyous. It was like I had watched his worries melt away before my very eyes. I hoped that's how it would always be when this was all over. When we would live our life together and grow old and frail; until the only beauty we had left was that in our aching souls.

"I brought this..." I whispered, grabbing his wrist and leading him to the other side of the tent, "wanna play?"

I held out the tattered Candyland box from my childhood. It was someone I was never able to let go of, even though I hadn't even thought of playing it since that night. That night when I thought my family would play it with me, but instead they had been killed. The game itself was more of a way to remind me of what had happened, like a punishment I had subconscious given myself.

"Candyland?" He asked, putting his hands on my shoulders to steady me. I hadn't even realized I had been shaking, "I remember you mentioned it before. I remember when you first got here and we were fighting and you said-"

"I remember." I snapped, jerking away from him, "I remember perfectly. We don't need to revisit that. You know what? I have a better idea! Let's burn it!" I laughed, holding the box above my head like it was a trophy I had hunted and killed.

"Why?" He asked, reaching up and taking the box away from me.

I was thankful for that. I knew if he hadn't I probably would have done something I would regret. I was so conflicted. I wanted to play it so bad, because I knew somehow, someway, it would offer me some sort of closure. But burning it, I feel, would be the final straw to cutting off the ties from my life before Voldemort had found me.

"Because it hurts." I said, my voice much raspier than I had intended it to be, "It reminds me of that night. I had fully had the intention to play this game, and had been so ignorant and selfish that I hadn't even noticed my sister was dead. I remember being grateful she wasn't conscious because I could have the character I wanted if she didn't play. I was so caught up in the idea of playing this stupid game I hadn't even noticed the signs of what was going on. My dad killed everyone that night, including himself, and all I had been worried about was whether or not I would get to play Candyland."

"You were just a kid, Joss. Kids see the best in people and can't pick up signs. You probably didn't even know what suicide was at that age, you were just a girl who wanted to spend time with your family. It's not your fault." Draco said quietly, pulling my against him, "How about bee play it, and then if you still want to burn it afterwards, we will."

I nodded, my 'okay' muffled by his chest. I didn't want to let him go. He was warm and the night air sent chills down my spine, but I knew I had to pull away.

He lead me over to the pile of pillows and blankets that spilled out from the inside of the tent and sat down. He placed the game in front of him and patted the spot next to him. I kneeled beside him, leaning my head on his shoulder as I watched him take the lid off the box and unfold the game board.

I could do this. All I had to do was play it one time. One time. That's all.

**********

Before long Draco and I were laughing hysterically through round after round of Candyland. He cheated. A lot. But so did I and it kept the game interesting. Once Draco had hid the Ice Cream Princess card in his pants and it had fallen out by his ankles when he stood up to stretch mid game, and another time I had tried to keep the Lollipop Fairy card in my mouth but that had backfired quickly.

Almost two hours later, and we finally decided to call it quits.

"So you still want to burn it?" He asked, still giddy and breathless from our most recent outburst of laughter.

I shook my head, "Nope. Not at all. I think we should play it more often. I forgot how fun this game is." I chuckled, punching him playfully on the shoulder.

"Of course you do." He laughed, grabbing my hand and twirling me, "Come on, we can clean up later. I have an idea." He drug my closer to the record player, and put his hand around me waist.

I smiled at him, wrapping my arms around his neck, "Draco, it's getting late. We should probably get to sleep soon."

"One song. Please?" He asked, giving me a look that could melt my heart in a matter of seconds.

I knew how it would go. One song would lead into another, and then another, and before we knew it we would be watching the stars bleed into the sunrise.

"Fine." I grumbled, but my smile betrayed me. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, smirking at me. He kissed my forehead, his eyes never leaving mine.

My heart beat wildly in my chest as we swayed. The cold night breeze whisked around us, only making me want to get closer to Draco and the warmth radiating off of him. It was like he was a flame and I was a moth. I was drawn to him, and I couldn't help but feel the need to stay forever. Even if I did get burned.

I decided I would never let go of him.

I locked my eyes with his, soaking in every detail of this moment so I would never forget. I wanted to scorch this into my memory. I wanted to remember every star in the sky and every look that crossed his face.

I wanted to remember it all.

"I love you..." I whispered, situating my stance so I could rest my head on his shoulder, "You don't have to say it back. I know it's probably hard for you. But in case anything happens I just wanted you to know..."

Part of me hoped he would say it back, but the more rational part of me knew he wouldn't. He grew up with some twisted, demented version of love, so I guessed he probably didn't even know what real, genuine love felt like. He probably didn't even know what love even was, and if he did, he probably thought of it as some strange exchange. He had always had to earn his fathers love by being the best, he had never experienced unconditional love.

My heart broke for him.

"Nothing is going to happen." He said, ignoring that I had even said it. But I felt him hold onto me a little bit tighter, and so convinced myself that I could settle with that for now.

I couldn't blame him for not saying it back, but it still stung a little. Although, I knew some small part of him did love me, whether he knew it or not. Because if he didn't, we wouldn't be here right now.

"Draco," I started, "I-what was that?" I said, jumping back from him, "Did you hear that? It sounded like Novah barking. He never barks. Never. Not unless something is wrong."

"Relax, I'm sure everything is fine."

"No. Draco. Something isn't right. Something is really, really wrong."

Novah's barking got louder and turned into a mix of barks, growls, and whimpers. My heart beat faster, as my body froze in fear. He never acted like this.

"Come on, we'll go look. I'm sure Novah just saw a squirrel outside the window or something. Or maybe like a raccoon or something. Everything is probably fine." Draco reassured me, and I almost believed him.

But then the barking stopped.

And everything was quiet.