Another Zodiac Story (Archived)

Update and Important Question

Hey guys!  So yesterday I said this book is on official hiatus (see last chapter).  However, I am considering re-doing some of the earlier chapters in a new (and hopefully funnier) style.

I was bored today, and re-did the first two chapters in a new style.  So my question is: Is this style better?  Is it funnier?  Less funny?  For reference, I posted the two original versions at the bottom of this chapter.

Also, if I do end up re-doing the book with this style, there's probably going to be a main plot running underneath everything they get up to.

In summary:  Could you guys read the chapters in their new styles and tell me what you think?

STUDYING

I have occasionally had people approach me and ask for wisdom from the stars. They nearly always leave extremely disappointed.

Really, why should amnyone assume the stars have any particular wisdom? Experience, certainly, that I have plenty, but there's very little I could relate that would not be just as easily gleaned from your average history textbook.

A particular note here is due to the zodiacs. They are, undoubtedly, the absolute worst stars (or people in general) you could go to for advice under any circumstance. And yet, people constantly ask their advice. They consult them for making plans, for insights about themselves and their friends. They base entire decisions upon their whimsical opinions.

And interestingly enough, some of the time, it works.

You have to get their attention first, of course. Largely, asking a star for advice is like trying to speak with a man on the telephone. He's talking to someone alright, but his advice is usually of very little relevance to you. But the one time I actually did stoop low enough to ask for advice from the zodiacs, I got the most helpful answer you could possibly imagine.

"Use two scoops of baking soda," advised Taurus. "I think the problem is you're not getting it to rise enough, and that's just about the most important thing when it comes to making a soufflee."

See, that never would have occured to me. As I walked away from the house into the night I decided that the zodiacs really were more than just the people you call up for a party you want to be especially wild. They really did occasionally have profound insights into our universe.

-

"Okay guys," said Virgo, glancing up from his textbook. "We really need to study for this test."

Gemini spewed his drink. "We have a test???"

Virgo facepalmed. "Weren't you listening in english."

"Who listens in english?" scoffed Gemini.

Leo ran into the room, tripping over Taurus's sofa as he did. "Wait! Virgo! What does instubstantiatingishable mean?"

Virgo facepalmed, again. "You're going to fail this test."

"Weird," mused Leo, flipping through his dictionary. "I had no idea they made words that specific."

Taurus strolled back into the sitting room from the front hall. "Dude, where did you put the snacks?"

"In the kitchen," said Virgo. "Who was at the door?"

"Just some guy," shrugged Taurus, heading for her kitchen.

Libra, meanwhile, was giving her textbook the sort of look you give someone who owes you large amounts of money. "I don't get this."