Changes (a Sam Pottorff fanfic)

41

Lexs POV

1 hour later

I lay in bed staring at the ceiling while sam showers, I had a shower 30 minutes ago and lay in just a towel. Kian is with my brother in his room playing Mario Kart and I can here them screaming at the game and one another along with laughter. Everyone else is still partying downstairs, I can here them all chattering and laughing. Yelling things at one another, I'm assuming they're playing apples to apples.

I close my eyes and I can still feel his hands on me, grabbing me, pulling me, feeling me, his lips pressed against mine, his tongue, and the taste of him in my mouth.

I shiver.

I miss his touch already I will never be the same after the feeling of his hands over my body.

The door opens and he walks in with just his towel on and lays next to me, he takes my hand and plays with my fingers and he kisses my hand "lex.." He says my name is a shushed voice "yes?" I say in reply and then he moves his head closer do his lips are right by my ear and I have to resist the urge to shiver as he speaks. "Stay in California with me... Stay with me... Stay for me... Please..." And in that moment...

my heart sank. I came spinning back to reality "w-what?" I turn to my side to face him using my arm to prop myself up. he sighs slightly and runs his hand through his hair. And I get uncontrollably furious. "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY" he takes a deep breath and talks in a calming voice "stay with me" usually this voice calms me but not this time! It just pushes me over the fucking edge!

"NO.. NO! I CANT YOU FUCKING KNOW THIS!!!" I get up. I can't think straight, my head is clouded and I got up to fast. I feel like I'm not even standing. My hands are grabbing my bags but it's like they aren't my hands. I can't control what they do. "HOW COULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT!!! I CANT STAY THERE!!! THIS IS WHERE I LIVE. WHERE I BELONG. WITH RYDER AND MY MOM AND MY FAMILY AND MY FRIENDS!!! THIS IS WHERE I BELONG!" I scream as I pull some clothes on. Not caring what they are. Tie my hair in a sloppy ponytail. Unlock the door look behind me at Sam one last time.

I can tell he's upset because he won't even look my way. "Goodnight Samuel." I say then leave the room, slamming my door behind me and going down the hall to the guest bedroom. When I get there I slam that door. Lock it and scream. As loud and as long as I can. I walk back and forth gritting my teeth with clenched fits.

How could he say that! Why would he say that! He knows I hate it there! I can't stand it there! This is where I belong!! ... Or is it ... NO. Of course it is! It always has been always will be and no boy or boys will change that! No matter how much I love them..

I scream again and look for something to punch. Luckily part of the wall is concrete so I start punching it as hard as I can, over and over. Tears start to fall. Angry tears and sad tears. But I don't fucking care I just need to hit something!! So I do!

After an hour of crying, screaming and punching I get too tired to continue. I look at my hands for the first time since I started punching.

I've busted all my knuckles, they're all bruised and bleeding and swelled twice the size of what they usually are. I go to the attached bathroom and run them under water to wash away the blood then look under the sink to find the first aide kit. I set it on the counter, cup my hands under cold water and splash my face. I look into the mirror for the first time and all around my eyes are puffy, my eyes are really red and my cheeks look like they're on fire. I take slow deep breaths and splash my face one more time and dab it dry. I bandage up my hands, put the first aide kit away and then lay in bed and fall asleep within a matter of seconds even though the party is in full swing down stairs...