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Chan - Final Love

Medium (1823 words)
Warnings: Death
Note: Another letter fic because the raw emotions in letter fics get me all up in my feels

Chan,

All throughout my life, I was enamored by the idea of love. When I was only a child, I believed I would find the love of my life at age 16, get married at 25, and have a kid by 30. When I turned 16, love meant something a little different. I believed that there were 3 different types of love: first love, second love, and final love. First love was that whole love at first sight, completely obsessive kind of love. I had already been through that stage. Second love was more knowledgeable. It was a seasoned heart that had been through many crushes and mini heartbreaks, learning what it wanted and didn't want. It was falling in love with a person because they seemed to have everything the heart desired. I had yet to experience that, and quite frequently sought after it. Final love was that unexpected one. It was when you've been with people before, truly found out what you wanted, matured, and weren't really looking for anyone. It was when you wake up one day and see that person and think, fuck, I want to wake up to this person, stomach through any of their terrible qualities, and still lay in bed together at night, telling them how much you love them.

You were my final love.

I met you on a random day in college. You were in my Sociology class, but I didn't truly notice you until the semester was over. We had mutual friends, and were sometimes dragged to parties together. You were insanely friendly, connecting with just about everyone you met. You were smart too, despite what you told yourself. You just had this presence that lightened up the whole room. It was inspiring. I wanted to be like you. I wanted to have the confidence to just go up to whoever and strike up a conversation. I wanted to be as honest as you always were. And one day, when you came into my classroom to talk with me about random things, even though you weren't in that class, I knew. I wanted to have these random conversations, I wanted to hear you talk about your ambitions, and I wanted to see your bright smile every day. I wanted to make you smile the way you made me smile.

When you came to my dorm one day and asked me if I wanted to go out with you, I was over the moon. You took me to a park, and we hiked through nature, just talking about random things, like we always did. You had made us a picnic, plus some brownies from your dormmate, Felix. There was never a dull or awkward moment with you. It was like you always told me, "Things are only weird if you make them weird." We started hanging out more and more after that, sometimes with our friends, sometimes just us. Every moment with you made my heart flutter. Sometimes we went on hikes and picnics, other times, it was small lunch dates, and sometimes, we cuddled up in your bed and talked throughout the night. You always had something interesting to say. Eventually, we were in our last year of college, three years together, the best three years of my life by far. That's when the bad news started coming.

First, you told me about how your brother wasn't doing well. My heart broke for you. I had never seen you so sad. There was something wrong with his heart, with a ton of added medical jargon that we didn't understand. Your constant smile faded, and it became harder for you to stay happy. He was hospitalized, under the care of the doctors now. Your mood improved a bit, though there was always a sadness behind your eyes.

Then, your mom was struggling. Your dad had left when you were young, probably the best for you and your family. However, that meant you always had to be working two jobs, on top of your mom's two jobs. Hannah even had to take a job, though you insisted that she didn't need to. The hospital bills started to add up, and with you at college, your mom's two jobs weren't enough to take care of herself, Hannah, and Lucas's bills. Plus, your brother's condition was stressing her out to the point of a midlife crisis. You picked up a job on top of your college studies so you could help her make ends meet.