The Heart Knows

Chapter Six

We ended up going home after paralayang, we spent hours driving in silent as usual but this time was way awkward and uncomfortable. Can you imagine trying to kiss your best friend? I can't even imagine best friend to be boyfriend, I mean it can be but I love Robert and Joe is my best friend.

I lay down on my bed staring at the ceiling thinking about Joe trying to kiss me. Is he serious? Does he like me? C'mon, wake up Becca! No way he would ever like me in romantic way.

My phone buzzing wakes me up from my battle mind. I reach my phone on the table, it's Robert. I am excited and sit down now, smile on my face as I'm ready to talk to the love of my life.

"Hallo ...." I stopped couldn't finish the sentence as he yell at me right away.

"What the hell Bec!" He yell at me "where have you been!?"

I am about to open my mouth to answer his anger questions but he stop me.

"I called you many times yesterday!, You were not in your apartment!." He raise his voice, "did you sleep in your another boyfriend's house!?" I can imagine his anger face with bloodshot eyes, he gets so scary when he's mad.

I can't remember what kind of worse day I ever asked, but this is beyond worse. Robert told me I have another boyfriend and even worse sleep with another boyfriend?.

"I...I am not...." I couldn't finish my words, I freeze, literally freeze like water in the winter day in minus ten degree.

"I can't believe you!" He sighs, "don't be bitchy around" he says as he cut the call.

He was full of judgment and didn't give me time to explain. I'm angry by his words but it's true I slept with another man but not boyfriend, best friend.

Tears fall down on my cheeks. I don't even realize I'm crying. His words is playing over and over in my head.

'did you sleep in your another boyfriend's house? Don't be bitchy around.'

Why would he think bad about me? I would never cheat on him. I love him and he should have know that.

Tears wouldn't stop falling from my eyes, they're like a flooding river on the rainy season. Too many to handle. I'm just a girl, an ordinary girl who seeks passionate love and the one that I love is not appreciate me. He broke my heart four months ago and today he broke my heart again after I gave him another chance yesterday. Is this my fault or am I in a deep love with him?

Minutes feel like hours, I feel headache from crying my heart out. Finally I fall asleep with tears. This is worse.

I heard someone knocking my door but decided to ignore. Whoever outside my apartment can wait for later, I murmur to myself. My body feels heavy. Not wanting to get up, so I pull blanket up on my shoulder and continue to sleep.    

The sunlight is no longer available from the window in my bedroom. I look around and it's dark. Am I dead? I laugh at my own thought. My head is heavy. My headache is still going on. I think I slept too much. I try to get up but failed.

I lay down another minutes until I feel better and crawl off the bed to turn lights on. I walk over the bathroom and take a bath for the longest time I ever did. This is a record. After hours on bathroom, I watch myself in the mirror. My eyes are swollen and red blood.

After fixing my hair and get dressed on my pajamas, I went to the kitchen to get water and head back to the bedroom. I sit on the edge of bed with a blank mind. My mind is running everywhere and that is bad. Headache is still going on, but better from the previous.

Few minutes later my stomach is growling like crazy, complaining to get fuel and I have nothing to eat once I checked when I went to the kitchen before and don't want to cook. Grab my phone from the bed and ready to call Joe, well I have no one else to call.