Always & Forever

Chapter 30, "I don't regret it"

Harry's POV

I watched as Kara walked away from me, leaving me standing there. Honestly I don't know what's going on? I love Jayda and I love the kids, but....There shouldn't even be a but. Ughhh what is going on right now?

I walked back in the room to see Jayda curled up on the far right of the bed. I'm putting her through hell right now and all she wants is for me is to pay a little attention to her. Why is that so hard for me to do?

Her words kept repeating in my head...

I just feel like she'll always have a part of you that I'll never be able to access...

I walked into the closet to put on a shirt and take a look at myself in the mirror. I don't even recognize who I am. I walked back in the room to find Jayda sitting up and in full blown tears. I've never seen her cry so much, and it hurt to know that I was the one she was crying for.

"Are you bored of me?" she whispered.

"Of course not Jayda."

Am I?

"Then what is it Harry? What else can I give?"

"You don't have to give anything else."

"So that's it? I'm just not enough."

"I never said that."

"You don't even realize it do you?"

"Realize what?"

"All I hope is that you never have to find out what it feels like to know that the person you love is in love with somebody else," she cried, walking out of the room.

I'm not in love with Kara am I? I love Jayda....am I still in love though?

Jayda's POV

This was not how I wanted to start my day. I need to talk to Eleanor. I at least need one thing to go right today. As I walked into the kitchen, I found Louis in there as well.

"Jayda about last night-" he started.

"Don't worry about it, it's okay. I know you Love Eleanor, I just wish I could be that sure about Harry right now," I said, giving him a loving hug.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Louis asked.

"Nothing, it fine."

I disappeared from the kitchen and went to find Eleanor. I found her wrapped in a towel and putting lotion on.

"Eleanor can I speak to you?" I asked.

"Of course, come on in."

"Okay I need you to know that I'm coming to you as a true friend when I say this because I love you."

"Okay...."

"Louis kissed me last night but it isn't what you think. I pulled back and it was only because he was-"

"Jayda calm down. Louis already told me. It's fine. Hell I was thinking about kissing you last night too," she laughed.

"Are you serious? Because Eleanor I swear I would never disrespect you like that and-"

"Jayda it's fine. We're all good and I love you even more for coming to let me know. We were drunk last night and yea....you okay though? You look like you've been crying a lot." she said, sounding genuinely concerned.

"Uhhh...no honestly," I said, my eyes starting to water.

Before she could ask anything else, we heard a big commotion coming from the living room. We both immediately went running out to find Zayn on top of Liam. They boys were trying to get him off, but it was useless. Kara was just screaming his name which did absolutely nothing. I couldn't even look at her knowing about her and Harry.

I rushed over to where Zayn was standing over him and tried my best to get him off along with Eleanor.

"Zayn stop!" I said loudly.

"Liam I swear to god if you ever touch her again-"

"Zayn please stop!" Kara shouted.

"Okay Zayn you proved your point. C'mon let's go. C'mon...." I said, pulling Zayn off.

It's a damn shame that the pregnant lady has to calm this grown ass man down. All these freaking people up in here.

"Don't just stand there, move!" I shouted, for everyone in the path to move.

I pulled Zayn by his arm out and to the side of the house.

"What the hell was that about?!" I asked.

"Liam freaking made a move on Kara!"

"Hey lower your tone at me sir. I'm not Liam."

"Sorry....It's just that I told him I would beat his ass once I was sober, so I held onto that promise." he stated.

"You can't go around beating peoples asses." I said, making us both burst out in laughter.

"So....about last night...." he started.

Fuck. I was really looking to avoid that.

"About last night..."

"I'm being serious Jayda."

"I know my bad. You're in love with Kara and I know that and I apologize for putting you in that situation."

"You didn't put me in anything. I encouraged it and I'm sorry. I will always be here for you Jayda. No matter what." he smiled.

"Thank you. I appreciate you so much," I said, giving him a civil friendly hug.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Not really, but I don't really have a choice."

"I'm here if you need anything, honestly."

"Thanks Zayn. That mean a lot, but I don't want to cause trouble with you and Kara."

"Kara and I are already troubled. I don't regret our kiss Jayda. I know it wasn't okay, but I don't regret it."

"Honestly me neither, but I love Harry more than myself which is the reason why I'm even feeling the way I do."

My heart only beats for Harry, but his beats for two and I can't be an option to him. We finished hugging when Kara walked around the corner.

"Oh...I just wanted to let you know the producers will be here soon."

"Just what I fucking needed," I huffed, walking past her and back into the house.

I faintly heard Zayn call my name, but I didn't want to be in the same vicinity as Kara. I want my friend back, but that's kind of difficult when your husband doesn't know if he wants you or her. It's crazy that when I need people the most, I always have to deal with shit on my own. Typical.

Then I have to deal with these damn cameras being in folks business. If everyone was in a good place right now, I wouldn't care but now my marriage ending will be all over television. Great.