Always & Forever

Chapter 80, "Me vs Me"

Jayda's POV

Kara left and it was just Jade and I. I took the kids to school earlier and pretty much had a free day. However, I do need to talk to Harry about this Corbyn situation. It would honestly be nice having some extra help. Once again all the pressure is on me. I still have to go back to work soon, but I can't do that if I have to get the kids all the time.

Especially recently since Harry has asked me to take more of his days with the kids for god knows what. I'm pretty sure he's making more music but that can't jeopardize the responsibilities I have.

I texted him after I got Jade to take a nap and he should be stopping by soon. Things haven't really been awkward between us, they never had been really, but Kara bringing that divorce idea up really has me thinking. I don't think I'm ready for that though. I don't know if I ever will be.

I've been feeling a lot of pressure on myself lately. I don't exactly know why, but I just don't want to mess up. I think I've done enough of that. I don't want to lose what I've got, but I feel like everything is just slowly drifting away. I just want to do the right thing here.

My thoughts were soon interrupted when the doorbell rang. I slowly walked to the door and opened up.

"Hey Jayda."

"Hi Harry. Thank you for coming. Please, come in." I said, putting on a smile.

He walked in and we walked to the kitchen. "Want anything to drink?"

"Any scotch?" he laughed. "I think I'm going to need it."

"Yeah." I laughed. "Me too."

I poured us both a glass of scotch and sat beside him. I just hope this goes smoothly but you never know.

"You know, never in a million years would I have thought we would be where we are today; in this situation you know?" he said, taking a sip.

"You and me both." I sighed. "The world works in mysterious ways that's for sure."

"Well, let's talk."

"Okay. About what Corbyn said, I don't think it's such a bad idea and not for the reasons you may think. I need help Harry. You're busy and I have to start getting back to work."

"I can try and cut back my studio time Jayda."

"You don't have to though. Why are you against this?"

"Because Jayda..."

"Because what Harry?"

There was a long pause and Harry just swirled his drink around.

"Because.....that means-it means that it's official. It means you're moving on....without me."

I looked at him and my eyes saddened. He's not ready either.

"Harry..."

"No. I'm sorry. I made my bed and now it's time for me to lay in it. I'm okay with it. You don't deserve all that pressure on you. I know he has good intentions. He's a good guy Jayda." he half smiled.

"Thank you. He really is....but that doesn't mean you aren't either."

"What happened to us Jayda?"

I refilled both of our cups and looked at, him meeting my gaze.

"I don't know Harry. I don't know." I sighed.

"You'll always be my one true love Jayda. Always know that."

"I know. Harry?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you um..do you think I'm doing the right thing? Did I mess up?"