Always & Forever

Chapter 58, "Yacht Part 6"

Zayn's POV

I finished getting dressed as Jayda just stared at the ceiling. "Hey, you got any clothes I can borrow? I simply just cannot sleep in this damn jumper from hell."

"Sure." I laughed, handing her one of Kara's shirts and a pair of my boxers.

She began to undress and then she stopped. "Ummm Zayn. Look away dude."

"Right. My bad."

She finished dressing up then said I could look again.

"Okay, before we talk, this is not no we share a special moment then start smashing faces type of situation. Understand?" she said firmly.

"Understood." I agreed. Not going to lie, I thought about it but Jayda's and Kara's friendship is too pure for me to do something like that. Plus I don't feel like dealing with Harry's temper.

"Alright. What's going on?" she asked.

Jayda's POV

I listened intently as Zayn told everything to me. There was definitely a part of me that wanted to slap him for Kara, but this isn't time to be biased right now.

Basically, he let a girl suck him off then after finding out about Niall and Kara, he went back to finish the job. He explained that all he could do was think about Kara and even almost said her name. He explained the incident that happened in the room before he got in the shower and just his overall feelings.

"I feel horrible Jayda honestly, but it's like Niall and Kara? Really?"

"I can't tell you why she did that Zayn that has to come from her. I can only help with what I know from you. Why did you let that girl...you know in the first place?"

"I don't know honestly. I was horny and the liquor was coursing through me. She was there and Kara was nowhere to be found." he explained.

"Yeah you probably shouldn't say that when explaining this to Kara." I laughed, him joining in.

"You're probably right."

"Honestly Zayn, I'm clearly not an expert on relationships but I do know how much you and Kara love each other. Have you ever considered counseling?"

"I'm not about to lay in no chair and tell a random person about my thoughts." he said, dismissing the idea.

"You are hard to work with. I don't know how Kara does it." I teased.

"Oh shut up....well it's my turn to ask you something." he started.

"Go on."

"You and Louis? Where was I and when did this happen?" he joked.

"I mean I guess it's always been there, but it's never been like I'm itching for his touch or anything like it is with Harry. I don't know Zayn honestly...I just wanted to feel...well wanted. I wanted that excitement again and Louis was not only exciting but....he wanted me too. I know it's horrible and it's wrong, but it's the truth. Harry and I....I don't know I guess a part of me just feels so second best to him." I started.

"What do you mean."

"Okay how do I put this? I'm very much so inexperienced compared to Harry. Harry's had his fun and has probably tasted every flavor out there, especially vanilla. It's like I don't know....I still get stares with him and he'll never understand that feeling. There was literally one thing that I held over everybody that Harry has ever been with and now...that's not even true."

"Was? What is it?"

"That I'm the first colored girl he's ever been with, but that quickly changed when he became interested in Kara."

"Don't remind me."

"Sorry. That was one thing I was proud of but, I can't say I am anymore. He used to praise my skin Zayn. Say that it was beautiful, that it was the most beautiful factor about me..."

"I know how that feels. I was his everything once too. He used to say the same thing to me." Zayn laughed, making me hit his arm.

"Then somewhere along the way....he got bored of me. Somewhere along the way I wasn't enough for him anymore. Louis....Louis made me feel like I was enough and I know that's wrong but I needed to feel that. Even if that's the last time I'll ever feel it, it was nice to soak in it for a little. I don't love Louis, Zayn. You know this. I love Harry, but I don't think Harry is in love with me anymore." I said, a tear rolling down my face.

"Wow. That's deep." he said, taking it all in.

"Yeah."

"I feel like I hold pieces of information that I'm not supposed to have." he joked.

"Shut up."

"No but seriously, I understand Jayda. I don't blame you and I don't judge you. I'm pretty sure out of everyone that messed up tonight, you are the only one who had somewhat of a real need and reason. No it doesn't make it right, but you have your needs too. I get that and I definitely think Harry needs to get his head out of his ass." Zayn said.

"Thank you Zayn."

"I mean it. If you ever need someone to remind you, I'm here. Jayda do you not know that when you were first introduced to us, we were all star struck by the beauty you uphold. You still hold it till this day Jayda I can assure you. You are vibrant and amazing and you have been the best wife to Harry. If he can't see that, then that's on him. That's out of your control. Don't cry about it. We don't want that beautiful girl of yours feeling that sadness." he comforted, taking my hand in his and wiping my tears away. I can tell that this was nothing more than friendly. Zayn is a true friend.

"Thank you Zayn. It's like I just can't help but feel like maybe I changed along the way for him to stop being so interested."

"You did change Jayda. You grew up and you handled business. You're raising two kids now. Hell, you take care of all of us all the time. That shouldn't make someone lose interest, if anything they should become more invested. You did nothing wrong, not regarding the whole Louis thing. You just need to make Harry see that. This is your first mistake. He's made millions, he needs to be flexible."

"I just hope he can see that. I won't keep you up any longer. We should both get some sleep."

"Amen to that. I have a fucking headache." he blurted, making me laugh.

I turned to my side and drifted off to sleep quickly.

Harry's POV

I laid in this bed alone just thinking about the past events that just took place. I wish this was a dream so badly. My wife is a cheater and I don't know how to deal with that. Things will never be the same now. I miss her presence though. I just want her in my arms. Why do I always seem to want her the most when bad things happen?