coolest person I've ever met - spencer reid/oc

Chapter Nineteen: Contradiction

Spencer opened his eyes slowly. The light coming from the window interrupted by the shutters. For a brief second he forgot what had happened the night before. But when he did, an instinct kicked in and he immediately looked for Amy next to his bed. Maybe she was still there.

But she wasn't.

Getting up was harder with that thought in his mind, but he didn't blame her. She'd already done more than enough.

He got up slowly, reticently. He headed to the bathroom and washed his face, washed his teeth. His eyes looked a little bit swollen from the night before and his- ugh- his disgusting eyebags were ten times bigger.

He walked outside of his room and it was then that he noticed a smell.

Baked cookies smell.

He went to look in the oven and found a tray full of cookies still inside. Those cookies were Amy, they were. There was no other possibility. He turned around and noticed a yellow post-it note on the table.

"Check your phone doc :)"

The handwriting was Amy's and, assuredly, the smiley face was Amy's as well.

Spencer turned his phone on, a voicemail message waiting for him.

"Morning Spence! Hope you slept well, you  missed the best part: Odysseus was starting to hear the merma- sorry, I won't rant. I made you cookies! I got everything from 7-eleven and... now you have cookies. BUT you need to warm them up. I would suggest for like two minutes. I hope you're feeling better... and yeah... Hotch said we have to be at headquarters at 10. I'm on the roof. You're welcome to come too, I'll be down by 9:30 anyways, byeee" her voice was so cheerful and soft at the same time. She probably knew Spencer was gonna be uncomfortable about the whole thing, so she chose to drop the hero role and act like herself: the most perfect choice she could've possibly made.

Spencer looked at the time and it was 9:03.

No way he would've spent 27 minutes without her. It would be outrageous, especially considering how close she was. All it took was a flight of stairs. 

Spencer didn't even need to think about it. He grabbed a napkin and took a couple of cookies from the tray (after warming them up, obviously). He quickly wore some shoes and headed outside.

He usually didn't go to the rooftop, he mostly stayed inside. He liked the safety of his home. Amy, on the other hand, seemed to like the outside world, even in little bits and pieces like her best friend's roofto- best friend? Since when...

"Hiiii!!!" Amy said in the happiest voice she could find.

"How did you sleep?" she asked in a warm, gentle tone. 

That was all it took. All it took for Spencer to remember how much he cared for her. He couldn't even remember the last time someone had asked him that question.

"After the Odyssey? Quite peacefully" Spencer honestly answered.

"Glad to hear" Amy replied with a smile coloring her lips, a smile that could've asked Spencer to do anything, and he would've.

"Wanna sit here?" invited him to join her Amy, her hand gently tapping the part of the ledge next to her spot. 

Spencer was delighted at her offer and immediately sat down next to her, his legs dangling next to hers in the air.

Amy put her hands on the ledge and slightly bent over, looking down.

"Aren't you scared you're gonna fall?" Spencer asked after some time spent in silence. Not an awkward silence, a silence so beautiful and so quiet that it enriched everything all around. A silence that made the noises from the street stand out just enough.

"Why would I be?" Amy answered, turning to look at him.

"Because your center of gravity doesn't fall on the roof" Spencer explained.

"I know I'm not gonna fall" Amy answered with simplicity.

Spencer couldn't figure out what she meant and stared at her with a dubious look. Amy looked at him smiling, taking her time before her well-thought-out answers.

"Because here I feel safe"

"How does your feeling of safety have an impact on your chance of falling?" Spencer now more confused than before.

"It doesn't, but I know I'm not gonna fall"

Spencer's eyebrows furrowed again in a confused expression.

"I often go on rooftops because they help me reconsider my feelings, especially feelings of guilt regarding our job, like you've been having the last couple of days"

"How?" Spencer was engaged in the conversation, hanging on every word Amy fondled with her voice.

"From up here, you see every single person walking down the street, right? But each and every person has their own full life, with their own problems, with their own imperfections. Each person is an incredibly complex scheme of layers, thoughts and emotions. And each person goes to form the city. The big, huge city in front of you is here because of that guy over there walking his dog. And the little lady next to the street light with the bookshop bag. Now think of every life you've saved. How many souls you've let build a city. Every single life you've saved is... a life. A whole life"

Spencer looked away from Amy and studied the view in front of him. It suddenly seemed like she was perfectly right.

"And you know what the most magical thing is? If you need it to, this mechanism can work the opposite way" Amy added.

"The opposite?" Spencer asked curious.

"Well, while each person can mean more if you want them to, they can also mean... less. Picture how inconsequential a single person's life is in the impossible, never-ending machine of the world. Does one life you haven't saved matter that much'?"

"If I believe one of the two mechanisms to be true, I can't also believe in the other. They can't work together, they're exactly the same in opposite ways. It's a contradiction. They'd be perfect, but they can't just happen together", Amy smiled in response.

"That's the beauty of it, Spence. They're gonna be complementary when you need them to. Each system working in its own way. But the crucial fact being that you believe in them both. They can happen together. You may not believe it now, but they can happen together and they can be the most perfect thing to exist"

Spencer stared ahead, studying each corner and each street light.

"And anyways, wouldn't you, at the very least try to catch me if I was about to fall?" Amy joked.

Spencer chuckled.

"Mmmh, I don't know, I might wanna dethrone you from your spot of best profiler in the team, I'd have to think about it", how Spencer could tease and compliment her at the same time was a mystery she found hard to understand.

"Shut up," Amy said laughing "you're a literal genius and Hotch knows what I'm thinking without even seeing me, guy's a mind reader"

Spencer said back:

"Yeah, but I didn't call Hotch last night. A profiler's job isn't just to profile"

"Alright, alright, Mr. Gentleman. You know, we actually have some work to get done today so we might need to get going"

"Wait, I brought you cookies" Spencer said, handing the napkin to Amy.

"You brought me the cookies I made?" Amy asked with a smile.

"Well, it's not like I have any lying around" Spencer responded, getting a laugh out of her.

"Come on, one each" Amy bargained.

"One each it is, Ms. Thomas"

[so poetic and metaphoric aha *insert smirking emoji*, obviously KIDDING! kinda dont love this chapter tbh]