My Chemical Romance as Shitposts

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Frank: I've eaten shrimp exactly five times in my life, always with gusto and an utter lack of self restraint, and each time has been ingrained in my memory as distinctly nightmarish when they ended with me ralphing it all back up within the hour. I thought this was reflective of my hubris and insufficient fear of god, but it is only as I write this now, crumpled to my knees on the floor of this Taco Bell bathroom after eating half a Baja taco and recalling that my dad is allergic to shellfish, I realize perhaps the issue is not with a higher power, but with a deeper one. Biology.

Ray: this is more beautifully written than anything I've ever read in my life

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Mikey: I love my new indestructible house I just wish I had some koolaid

*distant thud*

Mikey: what was that

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*thanksgiving at the in-laws*

Frank: *patting Gerard's stomach* remember, you're eating for two now

Relatives: *visible confusion*

Frank: that's right. He's got a tapeworm.

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Gerard: one of the things my brother and I do to each other is announce our presence by yelling HEWWO??? whenever we get home but. this has now caused our dad to also, upon getting home from work, throw the door open and yell, in the daddest voice possible, HEWWO???

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Frank: here's a concept. Me, riding your ceiling fan like a gargoyle. You, smacking me with a broom. Both of us are yelling.

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Judge: you're being charged with stealing penguins from the zoo

Frank: I needed groomsmen for my wedding, your honor

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Ray: bone massage...I want soft bones

Gerard: no you don't

Ray: *jiggled and flops toward you* what? Huh?

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Frank: I haven't killed the bastard that calls himself god yet but one day I will, trust me

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Ray: are you worried?

Gerard: about what? But yeah. 

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