My Chemical Romance as Shitposts

The Last Part

I'm out of shitposts! So this is the last part

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Mikey: self care is slathering yourself in baby oil and sliding down the seventh lane in your local bowling alley so the mechanical pin setter will pick you up and take you to the forbidden place behind the bowling lanes where you can meet God but only on Tuesdays

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Frank: if you cut off my dick two more will grow in its place

Gerard: promise?

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Mikey: in this world it's milk or be milked

Ray: It's Really Not

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Frank: if you were to vacuum up jello through a metal tube, well I think that'd be a neat noise

Ray: I beg to differ

Frank: then beg

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Gerard: what the fuck are you even supposed to do with your hands while you're getting your dick sucked

Frank: clap

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Ray: your hands, I want to hold them

Mikey: your lips, I want to kiss them

Gerard: your dreams, I want to hear them

Frank: your toes, hand 'em over

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Someone: didn't you die

Gerard: That was weeks ago dude. Things change.

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Gerard: sleep makes me so mad to be fucking honest. Do you know how much shit I could get done if this flesh prison didn't require literal hours of laying there in an unconscious state.

Gerard: that being said if you deprive me of my sleep I will Cry

Ray: do you ever see something that is the literal story of your life

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Frank getting robbed on an elevator: haha that was wrong on so many levels

Robber:

Frank:

Robber:

Frank:

Robber:

Frank: honestly? The fact that you don't appreciate

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Gerard: the fact that the lights don't start flickering ominously whenever I'm upset is maximally unsexy and not at all excellent if you ask me

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Sensible part of Ray's brain: you made enough pasta that you could take it for lunch tomorrow. Put it in a container.

Overwhelming majority of Ray's brain: shovel the pasta into your face. Do it. Put it in your face. The future is meaningless but the pasta is now.

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Gerard, to a camera: TikTok, camouflage challenge

Camera: *pans across an empty field where Gerard is lying face down*

Gerard, to a camera: Share if you could see me

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Gerard: bring the wheat in

Frank, running in with a plate full of wheat: anything for you Gerard Way

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