Broken Rockstar Part 2

Chapter 217 🔞

The first couple of nights at home from the hospital were rough for Meredith and Derek...they were still dealing with the traumatic even of almost losing their daughter...so at night... they put both babies in bed with them...wanting to keep them close...even though Sadie was doing a lot better...She took her breathing treatments well...it was just for a few minutes three times a day and it was painless...Derek usually sang her through each session while Meredith held her close...

Meredith: Do you want to try to put her in her crib tonight?

Derek looked up at her...she could see the turmoil in his eyes...mixed with fear and exhaustion...he worried so much about Sadie that he wasn't sleeping well...even with her so near...if it were up to him...he would never let his little girl out of his sight...ever...he let out a sigh but he didn't reply...he didn't have to

Meredith: Too soon?
Derek: (sighs)...I think so...
Meredith: (smiles softly)...Ok...maybe tomorrow...
Derek: Maybe...

Tomorrow turned in to next week and the twins were still in their bed...there was plenty of room but Meredith was afraid that they would get used to being there and not want to go back to their own cribs...she knew Derek was still having a hard time letting go even though they had both mastered the breathing machine and was able to set up a good routine...Sadie was already back to her normal feisty and playful self...

Meredith: How about tonight?
Derek: Tonight?
Meredith: Uhuh...I think she'll be fine Derek...don't you...she's doing so well...
Derek: I...I just...I don't know Meri...I'm just not ready...
Meredith: (gently strokes his cheek)...But I think she is...
Derek: (sighs)...She just so small...
Meredith: But don't you want her to get back to her normal routine?...She's not sick she just has asthma...and we have it under control...(looks into his eyes and rubs his hair back)...plus you're not sleeping well...you look so tired baby...
Derek: (sighs)...I know...You're right...
Meredith: It'll be good for her...and Shane...and you...and us...we haven't had time together since we got home from the hospital...(kisses him softly on the lips)...I miss you...
Derek: I miss you too...(sighs)...It's just all so exhausting...
Meredith: I know...but it will get better if you let it...the twins can't sleep with us forever...you have to let them go a little...
Derek: Ok....but can we sleep in the day bed...just until...
Meredith: (smiles)...I think that's a good idea...for now...

At least it sounded like a good idea...but Derek was up most of the night listening to Sadie sleep and when he finally fell asleep he woke up in a cold sweat...now that she was back in her crib...he was having nightmares again...

Meredith: (shakes his chest)...Derek! Wake up! Baby! Wake up! You're dreaming!
Derek: (suddenly sits up)...What? Huh? Where is she? Is she breathing?
Meredith: (rubs his back)...She's fine baby...it was just a dream...
Derek: (breathless)...I...I keep seeing her face...her lips were turning blue...and...
Meredith: (wraps her arm around him and pulls him close)...Shhh...its ok...everything is ok...Sadie's fine now...

He looked around the sun porch located just off the nursery...it was still dark outside...

Derek: I...I need to go check...
Meredith: Ok...

Meredith followed him out of the bed and into the nursery....she watched him tip toe over to the crib and stand over it...watching Sadie sleep...

Meredith: See...she's ok...
Derek: Yeah...she is...
Meredith: Will you come back to bed now?
Derek: You go ahead...I'll be there in a minute...

Meredith went back to the sun porch and climbed into the day bed...when she woke up that morning to nurse Shane who had began to cry...she saw Derek sitting in the glider...holding a sleeping Sadie against his chest...he looked more peaceful than she had seen him since before the hospital...unfortunately this had soon become the new bedtime ritual...