bughead || broken

28

It was night time and I hadn't slept for what felt like days trying to finish the article mr weather bee asked me to write , "what is high school" the question had wrapped around my head what felt like thousands of times , "high school in itself can feel like a competition, deep down I think it's just trying to survive , when I first got in high school I thought it was the scariest thing ever , and deep down I think it Truly is , lord of people look at it as a popularity contest , otbers see it as the devils reincarnation , everyone has there own perception of this 4 years of useless school that truly doesn't teach us the stuff we actually need , like what's taxes or how do I open a loan , or buy a house ,  one thing high school has really taught me is that people just want to be seen , and we all contribute to it by following society's stereotypes and beauty standards thinking it defines us as a person , I think in high school , people fear loneliness over anything , and those who don't get bullied , it's not like it's the school systems fault , there jobs to educate us and for the most part they do , I think it's us who truly have to better ourselves , and not just our social status , in a few years or now so many of us will look back on our high school years and think about how it wasn't actually fun , trying to fit unrealistic expectations , my only tip on high school is to me authentic , or it's gonna eat you alive " I pressed send before I closed my laptop and walked outside to watch the rain , I started smoking when jughead walked out his house , he walked over to my porch , "hi" I said "hey" "come on sit you're getting drenched" he nodded , "if I gave you 300 bucks would you quit smoking" "no amount of money gives me the satisfaction this death stick can" he nodded , "where are you headed off to" i asked , "first football practice of the season" "cool" "anyways I'm about to be late" he said before he kissed me and walked to his car , I was always bored , everyday felt the same , maybe I needed a hobby , or ten , there were so many days were I wanted to just disappear , not just to my friends , or from school , just pack a few bags and start a new life , lose all ties from the world and live in some small home somewhere in the woods , with a cat , the actual thought of it passed my head a few times before I got in my car and sat there for a while , I went back into my moms room , she was sort of , well crazy so she didn't believe in banks , I grabbed about 5 of these huge money stacks that were in my mothers safe , and I went upstairs to write a note , to one person "one day you'll know why I did this , my presence was a burden , to myself I'll do better now I know it , I'll even adopt a cat , if the police ask you anything I want you to lie , lie you're heart out because I would do the same for you , one day you'll realize why I finally committed to this , i need to kill her , I need to kill Betty , if I continue to be someone who I can't I'm gonna kill myself , I hope you understand , you out of all people would , I'll send you a letter every week , under the name Lola brown , tell anyone that we're pen pals , the only way for this to work , for me to be free , so that I can find true happiness is if you cooperate , everyone know that you're try number one person , please don't try going crazy to find me , because you won't , I'm not kidnapped or in danger , I know anyone who's kidnapped would say that exact sentence , but I'm okay , now I'll be , I won't come back , in the nicest way possible you'll never see me again . I would throw these three words around a lot but I didn't know if i meant it at first , but from the bottom of my heart , I love you , I have lived for you and I would die for you , I know you will do great things in life , but I won't be there to see , who know maybe one day I'll see you're face on a billboard , and that day I'll give you a call ,
I don't know who I am but I sure will have fun figuring that out in the future , and until then , I'll see you , goodbye jughead Jones. I closed the envelope and left it on his door step , I threw a few bags out of my window and the money bag , I climbed down the tree outside my window , then grabbed the bags and put them inside my car , as I sat there about to put my key in the thing , I took a deep breathe "goodbye" I said before I backed out of my driveway and drove until I didn't know were I was , I heard a ding on my phone , jughead , "goodbye Elizabeth" I pulled over to a random gas station with a single tear down my face , I walked over to this pile of leaves on the side of the gas station , I dug through them a little as I placed my phone in the pile and went back into my car to smash the tracker thing my mother horribly hid , I drove another 4 ish hours or so until I found a white suburban looking neighborhood , the last place I would go , I found a hotel that didn't charge to much per night and sat in bed as the thought that I left everything behind gazed through my head .