bughead || broken

16

After that the weekend passed , he kept calling me , or texting me , and knock on my door or throw tiny rocks at my window , I was reading when I heard a awfully large rock hit my window , and I opened it this time , i just saw him , "geezus" I said ,
"Well you ignored me forever" "the same way you ignored me for a week straight you'll survive" "as if you didn't abandon me for weeks and I didn't know if you were dead or not" "I'm my own person you can't lock me in a cage and except me not to find a way out" I said , "no you're scared , like that one line in you're favorite movie , we're ever you go you just end up running into yourself" "you're right on that one I suppose but I never leave , I've always found my way back , I've always had to pave the way for myself because I'm the only person I've ever had"
"so the like 5 months of me falling in love with you was all nothing" "don't say that because you know I love you to but you know im like a jack in the boy toy we're I'm happy for a little bit and then I go back into this cave until someone new comes around and frees me , I need to be free" he nodded , so before me there were other who made me you feel , free" "yes of course" I said , "were are they now" "don't be silly I killed them , I thought that was obvious " he rolled his eyes because he knew I was joking "through my life I've lived in at least 4 homes , every time something happens my mom just packed our bag and we do what she did best , run away , but I never found someone who made me feel sane , every person I've ever known used me , and everyone in my life hurt me , and then there was you , you made me feel like there was nothing wrong with me after years of every one I've ever reached to for help just giving me a diagnosis and then abandoning me , I thought you were different you know ,
but everyone's a color , like Reggie , a solid red , Veronica lodge , black , Cheryl blossom, orange, it took ages for me to figure out yours , maybe iridescent, but you're like every other brain washed fuck in this town , beige " he looked sad for a second then I closed my window ,
the next morning I went to school , I saw a bunch of stuff about some , riverdale high beauty pageant ,
I was in class when Veronica scooted over time me , to copy my awnsers obviously "so are you entering the pageant , "me , no" I said , "why not" she asked , "something about a bunch of girls competing for human affection and believing in beauty standards isn't appealing to me" "how about we have a sleepover" she said , "sure when" "tonight" I nodded
it was after school and I was driving to veronicas house , when I got there I saw how actually massive it is , I knocked on the door and she awnsered "come in" she lead me to her room witch was massive ,
after a bit we were on her bed talking ,
"aren't you dating jughead Jones" "I dated him for 5 months" I said , "you guys did everything together , I remember that one week we're you left the face of the planet Reggie mantle said some thing about you
and jughead beat the shit out of him in the hallways"
I hadn't heard about that , "why are you guys like not together " , " maybe we're not for each other" "I call bullshit, I would kill for someone to look at my the way he looks at you" she said , "were not as compatible as everyone thinks , we'd both kill ourselves for each other but yet , I don't know"
"he loves you , more than anyone loves anyone"
"that's what I'm scared of" I said ,
"how about I give you a makeover, she said
"depends" "come on it's gonna be fun" "fine"
after she was done I looked , like a brats doll , and I liked it ? "Wow you've out did yourself" I said ,
"you should totally enter that beauty pageant "
"Fuck it , fuck it I'll enter" I said , 6 words that would soon cause me so such self hatred ,