bughead || broken

30

It was The night of the winter and I was staring at myself in the mirror for thirty minutes trying to debate whether or not I liked how I looked especially with the giant scarf around my neck  , my mom walked in while I was brushing my hair "you're father would've loved to be here" I nodded , "I'm sure he would" "I remember when me and you're dad were a lot younger , around yours and jughead age we talked about having kids , and what we'd name them , and he talked about sending his two girls off to college , and taking prom pictures , and giving you away at youre wedding " "well I don't think he'll have to worry about that last part" I said , "one day you'll find someone who loves you , it might not be jughead , after all, this kid stuff you're gonna figure out who you are, now it's just confusing" I nodded "well that's him now , better get going" "I suppose so" I walked downstairs to open the door , he paused for a second "you look well" I said , he continued to be quiet for a few seconds "okay let's go before my mom comes down here and starts crying" I said right before my brother came rushing down the stairs and into his dates car , oddly enough I saw Kevin ,
         I was sitting at veronicas table "the movies make this night so much more entertaining" "literally" she said , "I'm gonna go spike the punch bowl" "you did that last year Cheryl" I said , "and" the whole night felt like a huge blur , it felt like a movie trailer , until they were announcing river dale highs snow queen and king , "and river dale highs 45th annual snow queen is ... Elizabeth cooper " I walked onto the stage thing and got the crown "wow this is actually really cool I don't know why I won to be honest , I like snow though so that's pretty cool" and jughead , non shockingly won the snow king thing , there was a very self deprecating dance we had to do in front of a bunch of people , the lights turned off and even a dumb spot light thing "you don't seem to be that into dances do you" I said , the whole night he basically side eyed me , "what is up with you today" I asked , "could you not do this right now" "why because all these people are watching , you feel embarrassed to dance with you're girlfriend" "oh please if I was embarrassed I wouldn't even walk the hallways with "the depressed girl" , "is that really how you look at me ?" I asked , "it's kinda hard not to when that's all you fucking talk about , me this , me that , I wanna run away , I wanna die " "you're such a prick" "if I'm such a prick why don't you leave?" I felt a single tear roll down my cheek "exactly you won't" he said in a aggressive tone , I walked out the school in the middle of the dance , I sat in the front and brought out a cigarette , he walked out a few moments later , he sat right next to me "I don't know what I said back there" I didn't reply to him after he said sorry for like 30 seconds , he eventually slapped the cigarette out of my hand "I can't stay were and continue to watch you kill yourself , I slightly turned to him , "is that really what you think of me" I said softly he slightly nodded "I Truly feel so much compassion for you right now because you're sisters dead , but that won't give you the excuse to treat me like I'm nothing , I might not be in my right mindset but I know my worth , never forget that" he grabbed my wrist and walked me to the car , I was sitting on the passenger side when he was driving somewhere that I didn't know , I lit another cigarette "so we're are we going" "I could tell he was angry and actually had no idea we're he was going , in a minute or so we went almost up to 80 mph on a 50 road , "what are you trying to scare me" he gave me no response "I know you won't hurt me" I said , he didn't stop and it drastically got faster , lucky for me the street was empty , "please stop" I said it reminded me of the condition my father was in , I hid my face in my knees and started screaming "please stop" I screamed , "please just stop it" witch you could hardly hear over the loud car and the tears in my eyes , at some point he looked over to me and pulled over , I was still balling my eyes out thinking I was gonna die and because it was exactly how it went when I was 8 , he slightly touched my arm and felt my whole body shiver , "I'm sorry Betty , I'm really sorry I don't know what that was" I looked up at him with my mascara ran all over my face "I don't trust you , jughead" he hugged me while I sobbed into his chest "please don't do anything like that again" he nodded "promise me that , please" he nodded again "I'd never hurt you Betty , you're all u have left" , a sentence that stuck with me for years to come.