Love/Hate

Enough.

The kiss changed a lot.

First thing I didn't know how to look into Kieran's eyes or Siobhan's.

My personal feelings reached an ultimate high.

Guilt. 

Pleasure.

Combined. 

The kiss felt right.

But extremely wrong at the same time.

Afterwards I left Kieran in the kitchen I didn't know what to do.

He left me alone though.

Right now I don't know how to face him. 

But I have to.

So I do.

I leave my room and make my way to his.

I knock on the door.

He opens the door.

A smile spreads on his face.

His dimples appearing.

"Calmed down?"

He smirks.

I roll my eyes.

"This isn't funny!"

I exclaim.

"Yeah, yeah sorry."

He chuckles.

"Kieran! What the bloody hell?"

"Oh the accent thickens."

He is laughing now.

Did I miss the joke?

"Are you making fun of me?"

"I?"

He says clutching his stomach.

Yeah sure.

"Kieran I'm serious."

"Sorry Cass."

He wraps his arms around me. 

Silently laughing.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, now I'm okay."

I put my head on his shoulder.

I could stay here for a 1000 years.

It feels like I finally found my home.

I inch away from him a bit so I can look into his eyes.

"Were you serious? The things you said in the kitchen?"

"Never been more serious."

He kisses my forehead.

"But your mother?"

My head is filled with doubts.

Like how are we going to explain Siobhan our budding relationship?

"What about Ma?"

"Wouldn't she be disappointed?"

I stare on the carpet.

"Hey look at me."

I do.

"My Ma adores you. She loves you. I'm sure of it."

"Really?"

I knew Siobhan liked me.

And I loved her.

She is the closest thing I have to mother after my grandmother, whom I couldn't remember.

Kieran embraces me again.

For a long time we just stand in the middle of that room embracing.

Forgetting the worries that fulfill our minds.

"What now?"

I ask after a while.

Kieran breaks the hug and pushes his hand into his dark brown hair that is now longer.

He is making a mess of his hair.

I reach out and touch his hair. 

Trying to straighten the mess he causes.

He grips my hands though.

"Cass, I want you to stay here. Stay here with me."

He takes my hand gently into his. 

His hand is a bit bigger than mine. 

He is also a few inches taller.

I nod.

Finally realizing that without him I'm nothing.

I would exist.

Continue.

But not live. 

I reach my lips up to his.

He deepens the kiss.

For a while we just kiss.

His tongue intertwined with my mine.

An old song we create.

This is enough.

Enough for a life time.