Warmth.

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I need a watch.

Some instrument of time.

My gut feeling about time is wasted. I don't know how many days pass since Kieran was here.

I can't assume.

I could count.

But that takes too much time.

And I don't have time.

Time.

What a interesting concept. 

Complex.

Simplex.

I need time.

I need to have a sense of time. 

I have to prepare myself mentally for the arrival of Kieran.

My doubts deepened over the course of the days.

But I won't give up.

I can't.

I fall asleep against the cold wall.

My pillow of years. 

Warmth never been a part of my world.

Just coldness.

Ice cold.

I feel a blanked fastened around me. 

I'm too tired to care.

To open my eyes.

A missed opportunity.

When I finally wake up a blanket IS fastened around me.

I missed Kieran.

I just missed Kieran.

Missed.

Kieran.

But he left something for me.

Is this a message?

Some sign for me to interpret?

For the first time my love for him weighs more than my hatred.

And for that.

I really hate myself.

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