Love/Hate

Confusion.

I stare at the mirror Kieran brought with him.

It's a small object that could be put anywhere.

But for now it's enough. 

Finally I can see myself. 

I've never knew how I looked.

But know I do.

My eyes a bright blue.

I have big dark circles underneath them.

My eyes look sad.

As if their expressing all the sadness I can't put in words.

My hair is a dark color.

Dark brown maybe.

It also quite long but I knew that already.

My skin is a pale color.

And a few freckles are across my nose.

"Am I ugly, Kieran?"

I turn to Kieran who is gazing at me.

He gulpes.

His Adam's apple moving up and down.

'No you're not."

He says with a husky voice.

'Really?'

I smile brightly at him.

''Really."

He says again.

Staring at the ground.

I stand up.

"Thank you, Kieran. For everything. I have so much to say, but so little words."

"I'm sorry"

"What?"

I ask.

"I just... I have to go."

"Kieran, why? Why are you in such a hurry suddenly?"

I'm confused.

"I really have to go. Listen I'll tell you everything soon, alright? You deserve that. And I'm sorry, but I can't tell you right know. Even me being here put us to danger. Especially me. And I don't want to endanger you. But in this condition I can't yet."

Now I'm really confused.

I can't understand.

Can't comprehend.

"Kieran, what are you saying? Are you going to explain to me why I am here?"

"That's what I'm gonna do. But you have to wait"

"I don't understand. Up until now you've acted differently."

"Hey, I just. Man, I just realized that what I was, no, what I am doing is wrong. I want to change. I want to help you. You don't deserve non of this."

"I guess. When you're ready to tell me I've to tell you something too."

Maybe I'll tell him my plans.

But those are shifting.

But it all depends on what he is going to tell me.

And I'm curious.

And nervous.