The Aberrations of S.I.D.E.

No. 9: Shakespeare Is Funnier Than You Think

"You guys do know that you can just leave, right?" Elliot said. "Stage crew's just meeting up and talking about scheduling during the first few weeks. Nothing big."

"We have the right to sit in on rehearsals, and that's a right that I'm going to use," Virgil told them, sticking his index finger in the air. "Plus, my boyfriend pretending to be heterosexual is a show in itself."

Elliot sighed. "Yeah, I guess."

Patton gave him a concerned look. "You okay?"

"I broke up with Micheal over the summer. For good this time."

"Oh my god, congrats!" Virgil said, brightening. "That's awesome! I can't believe---"

Nox kicked him. "Dude. Wrong reaction."

Virgil cleared his throat. "Uh, I mean, sorry about that."

Elliot waved their hand. "It's fine. I actually feel a lot better now. Might not get a new partner for a while, though---maybe in college, but definitely not this year."

"Just remember to take some time for yourself," Logan told them, patting them on the shoulder. "You deserve it."

"I know, I've been trying to get in some me time between school and everything." Elliot's gaze traveled back to the stage. "Wow. Remus is going all out."

Remus was stumbling across the stage while reading through his script, acting like he'd just drank fifty vodka shots. Ivy was trying her hardest to be serious, but she kept on laughing.

"Ivy, you're supposed to be in really deep grieving," Remus reminded her, breaking out of character. "You can't laugh at my poorly-disguised drunkenness."

"I'm sorry," Ivy choked, holding up a finger. "Just---just give me a sec."

"It's the first day of rehearsals," Larry called. "You don't have to be perfect just yet. You wanna take a break and laugh, you can do that."

"You're quite convincing, darling," Janus added.

Remus blew him a kiss. "Thanks, Jan-Jan."

"I'm still kind of confused as to why Janus didn't try out for Maria," Virgil muttered. "I think he'd jump at the opportunity to be Remus's actual love interest."

"He always goes for a role that lets him do a musical solo if there is one," Patton explained. "It's a non-negotiable thing."

"So... a Janus role is one where the role is morally grey or villainous, either inspires fear or makes people laugh on purpose, and can sing?" Virgil concluded.

Patton shrugged. "Pretty much, yeah."

"In any case, Adrianna's dating Tess and openly identifies as homoromantic demisexual, so there's no chance of her falling for Remus," Logan added.

Virgil nodded. "True, true."

Larry clapped his hands. "Okay, let's take scene five from the top. Adrianna? Janus? You two start us off."

Virgil sat forward.

Adrianna looked back down at her script, then turned to Janus. "Nay, either tell me where thou hast been, or I will not open my lips so wide as a bristle may enter in way of thy excuse. My lady will hang thee for thy absence."

Janus waved a hand flippantly, not even looking at the script. "Let her hang me! He that is well hanged in this world needs to fear no colors."

"He has this play memorized," Logan told Virgil in an undertone. "One of the reasons he got the role."