The Aberrations of S.I.D.E.

No. 35: Better Every Day

Janus took a deep breath as the group stepped back into Remus and Roman's apartment. "Ah, it's so nice to be back."

"Yep." Remus dropped his bag on the floor and stretched. "Home sweet home. No crazy family members here, that's for sure."

"Aside from your brother, right?" Virgil reminded him. "No offense, Roman."

Roman shrugged. "None taken. I think of Remus as my crazy family member, too."

"Okay, no family members that are homicide-level crazy," Remus amended.

"No, there's still family members that are homicide-level crazy here," Roman said.

Remus swatted him. "Hey."

"Literally all of your plans end or start in murder," Roman pointed out, spreading his hands. "I'm just being honest here."

"Well, it's a good thing that I usually don't go through with the murder, right?"

"Because you have me to help control your bloodthirsty impulses," Janus said, resting a hand on Remus's arm. "And what's life without a little homicide every now and then, right?"

Virgil shook his head. "You two are psychopaths. Absolute psychopaths."

"I'm elegan---"

"Elegantly psychotic, yeah, I know," he said. "The only difference is that the latter sounds pretentious as fuck."

Janus let out a mock-offended gasp. "I'm not pretentious, you little dickhead! I'm classy!"

"Anyone who dresses, talks, and acts like you is pretentious."

"Oh, joy, you're making fun of my impeccable sense of style again," Janus said dryly. "You really must stop grasping at the low-hanging fruit, Virgil."

"Kiss my ass," Virgil responded.

"Hmm, no, I'll leave that to Roman." Janus reached over and took Remus's hand. "And speaking of which, the fact that Virgil and Roman were the ones who screwed each other while you and I were the ones who had a wholesome couple moment last night is simply unacceptable, Remus, so... care to rectify that?"

Remus let out an excited gasp. "Oh, do I ever."

"Wonderful." Janus dragged him down the hall and into Remus's room, slamming the door behind him.

"Welp, let's not think about what they're getting up to," Roman decided, flopping down onto one of the couches.

Virgil sat down next to him. "Not too different from us last night."

"Yeah." Roman fidgeted with his jacket, a small smile on his face. "That was interesting."

"That's one way to put it."

Roman laughed. "Were you serious when you said that you wanted to plan our official first time?"

"Very serious." Virgil propped his legs up on the table. "But don't get your hopes up---from what I've been planning so far, it'll be a bit before it happens."

"I'm still excited."

Virgil rested his head on Roman's shoulder. "And... I'm sorry, by the way."

Roman gave him a surprised look. "Sorry? For what?"

"I pushed you into going in the first place, didn't I? If I hadn't, everything would be fine, and Janus wouldn't have gotten one more shitty experience to add to his list, and I wouldn't have almost died, and you and Remus---"