The Aberrations of S.I.D.E.

No. 22: Family Time

"I hate school," Roman whined, flopping down on his bed. "I have an apartment now, and money. I don't need education or a job."

"Get off your lazy ass and do your homework," Virgil said, tapping away on his phone. "I finished mine two days ago."

"I don't wanna."

"Tough."

Roman gave him a pouty look. "You're no fun."

"Yeah, well, I'd be a shitty boyfriend if I just let you slack off. And don't say something about how Janus and Remus let each other slack off, because they don't," Virgil added, pointing at him. "They slack off together and do stupid shit instead, like pranking a teacher or setting off an explosion." He paused. "Or each other."

"Okay, yeah, that's accurate," Roman said.

Virgil sighed. "Look, I have a surprise for you, but I'm only going to tell you what it is after you finish your homework. It's one exercise sheet for French, and a multiple-choice thing on the best undercover tactics. Multiple choice, Princey."

Roman waved a hand, opening up his computer. "No, you had me at 'I have a surprise for you.' I can get this done in twenty minutes, tops."

"All right, glad I inspired you." Virgil got up. "I'm gonna go check on Idiot and Bond Villain while you do that, okay?"

"Uh huh, yeah, you---" Roman looked up. "What did you just call them?"

Virgil gave him a smirk as he opened the door. "Let's just say that your nickname thing has rubbed off on me."

"I love you."

"Yeah, yeah, you too, Princey, now do your homework." Virgil blew him a kiss and closed the door behind him.

He navigated through the halls until he found Janus and Remus's room, then knocked on the door. "You guys going at it or is it safe to come in?"

"Enter," Janus called.

Virgil opened up the door to see the two maniacs in question sitting on Remus's bed, Remus peering over Janus's shoulder as he typed furiously on a computer.

"Nah, that line's a little OOC," Remus said, tapping on the screen. "Try something else."

"Oh, yeah, you're right, sorry," Janus murmured, backspacing.

Virgil held out his hands. "The hell are you two doing?"

Janus gave him a dirty look. "Something important. Now go away."

"Jan-Jan's writing a fanfiction about Wanda going to Night Vale instead of Westview for her sitcom-themed breakdown," Remus supplied. "I'm proofreading for him."

"Dirty traitor," Janus said, elbowing him.

"He asked. I answered."

"Okay, first of all, send me it once you're done so I can read it immediately," Virgil said. "Second---get off your criminal gay asses so you guys can participate in a FaceTime call with my parents. You promised you'd be there."

Janus smirked. "I am famously unable to keep any of my promises."

"Except the one about you always loving me, right?" Remus teased.

"Yes, well, promises to loved ones don't count."

"Well, I guess I'm one of your loved ones now." Virgil closed Janus's computer and pulled him to his feet. "Now fulfill your goddamned promise."

"Wh---you can't just decide something like that!" Janus protested. "I'm the one who determines this stuff!"

"Nope. I'm one of your favorite people now."