p a l m e r
☘
When my best friend, Paxton, moved two months ago, I'd hoped the first time he came back to visit would be just like they used to be. Spoiler alert: they weren't. Even within two months he had been gone, he'd changed a lot. And I haven't even seen him in person yet. He's coming in tomorrow afternoon, but just by seeing his social media posts, I can tell he's different. I just hope that it's a good different.
My sister, Kailyn, pops her head in my room, knocking. "You wanna talk?" She asks.
I nod, patting the bed beside me. Kailyn is three years older than me; she's in college, but still lives at home, commuting on the days she has to actually go in.
"I'm nervous for tomorrow," I say, her face illuminated blue from the LED lights hung around my room.
She looks at me. "I'm sure that's normal, but he does seem like he's changed."
"I'm just afraid he won't want to be my friend anymore..."
"If that was true, he wouldn't be coming here, to the house, to see you. And he's staying here."
I shrug. "What if he's coming to say he doesn't want to be friends anymore?"
She looks at me. "You can't think like that, Palmer. You just have to hope for the good, be positive. You should get some sleep, okay? He'll be here at what? Noon?"
"Eleven o'clock." I correct.
When she leaves my room, I lay back in bed, covering myself up and closing my eyes, hoping for the best tomorrow as the butterflies flutter around.
☘
I wake up at eight-thirty, getting ready and dressing quickly, practically running down the stairs.
"Easy, honey!" Mom says. "You'll wake the neighbors!"
I pause to give her the look that you give mom's when they say something, and then continue on to the kitchen, grabbing the plate Mom has already set for me. She's given me scrambled eggs, two waffles, some bacon, and four sausage links and a glass of milk. Something about living with my mom is that you'll never starve here.
After I eat, I throw away my trash and then start trying to clean up the living room.
"Honey, it's just Paxton. He's been here plenty of times and seen this house a mess." Mom tells me.
"I know, Mom, but it's different now, you know?" I say.
She shrugs, as if to say 'I guess.'
When the doorbell rings at 10:54 AM, I jump, practically out of my skin, and nearly scream.
Mom gives me a 'Are you good?' look and then opens the door.
"Palmer, come here," she says.
I get up, shaking, and go to the front door, where Paxton is standing at his car.
"I think he wants you alone." She says. "Make sure and invite him in!"
She pushes me out the front door, and I take slow, shaky steps towards him.
"Are you afraid of me?" He asks, laughing.
I look him over. "It's like I don't even know you anymore!" I exclaim.
"No. You didn't know me before." He says, pulling me close. "I've missed you," he adds quietly when he pulls me into his arms, squeezing me tightly.
I take a deep breath, wrapping my arms around him.
"I've missed you so much," I say, letting out the breath that I feel like I've been holding since last night.
"Hey, do you want to bring your stuff in?" I ask him.
He nods, looking at me, a sparkle in his eye, that's partly from the sun. He smiles at me, pulling me into him, cupping my face, and kissing me.
"That was unexpected," I mutter when he pulls away. "But it was a good kind of unexpected," I add.
He smiles, wrapping his arms around me and kissing me again.
☘
Paxton and I take his stuff up to my bedroom, and then he sits on the edge of my bed, looking at me and grabbing my waist, pulling me onto his lap.
"What changed?" I ask him, tipping his chin upwards with my pointer finger, giving him a soft kiss.
He smiles at me, gripping my waist. "A lot changed, baby. A lot changed. But, I'm so happy now. I'm happy where I am. I came to terms with my feelings. I fought for a long time with how I felt about you. I couldn't wait to come back here and hold you." He says, looking into my eyes.
A smile spreads across my face and he kisses me again. "We should go downstairs," he says. "I wanna say hi to your family."
We go downstairs together, not mentioning anything that's happened since his arrival. Kailyn is sitting on the couch. My little sister, Lyric, and her twin brother, Lucas, are sitting at the kitchen table; the thirteen year old twins. Lyric jumps up from the table, running over to Paxton and throwing her arms around him. He bends down, hugging her back.
"I've missed you!" Paxton says.
"So has Palmer! He's been absolutely ANNOYING!" She says. Paxton laughs, turning to me.
"Apparently you've been annoying," he says.
After everyone has said their "hi's", Paxton and I go back up the stairs to my bedroom.
"What have you been doing to get yourself marked as 'annoying' in Lyric's book?" He asks.
I shrug. "I have no clue." I say, and he laughs, leaning into me and kissing me.
As he kisses me, he grabs my waist, pulling me over onto his lap, holding my body close to his, cupping my face with one hand.
He bites at my bottom lip, pulling gently and then releases it, slipping his tongue inside my mouth. I wrap my arms around him, sitting in disbelief as I make out with my best friend.
He pulls back, kissing the side of my neck and across my jawline, back to my lips. I pull on his bottom lip gently, like he did to me earlier, and then let my lips press against his again.
He pulls back, holding my chin in his hand and gives me a short, small kiss. He looks at me, and I've never seen him look at me like this.
"I love you, Palmer," he whispers, leaning his head against mine.
I smile at him, holding him close to me. "I love you too, Pax," I say softly, falling beside him on the bed as he pulls me against him.
"Did you tell all your friends about me?" I ask, joking.
He smiles. "I did, I introduced you as the guy I loved." He tells me, kissing my cheek. "Then I showed them your picture, because you're absolutely adorable."
I blush, smiling at him; he smiles back, and then takes a picture of us together.
2/16/21
