l e d g e r *
Jonah, my best friend, and my most favorite person ever, has been acting a little strange these past few days. His parents are out of town for the weekend, his siblings are staying with friends and I'm going over to spend all weekend with him, but first I'm stopping to get him some coffee.
When I get to his house, I grab my bag, our coffee, and donuts, and use the key he gave me to let myself in the house. I knock on his bedroom door and enter without waiting for a response. Jonah looks up as I walk in.
"What are you doing here?" he asks me, his voice quivers and has a note of exasperation.
"I'm here for the weekend," I tell him. "And, I brought you some coffee,"
I hand him the cup and look at him as he takes it.
"So, bubba, are you going to tell me what's wrong?" I ask him as I sit down beside of him.
"Nothing's wrong!" he says, and I immediately know that he's lying.
"Jo, I've known you for too long to know when you're lying to me, and that was a lie."
He turns to look at me.
"You look like you got your heart broke," I say, watching as his eyes fill with tears.
Then, he leans over and starts sobbing loud and hard into my chest. I pull him into my arms, rubbing his back.
"Who did this?" I ask him. "I'll kill them!"
He pulls away from me and looks at me, meeting my gaze. I feel something in this moment--something that I can't explain...
"What's wrong?" I ask him after he's stopped crying.
"There's someone..." he says, looking at me.
"Oh." I say simply and flatly.
"Look, I just remembered, I've gotta do a bunch of stuff this weekend. I'm gonna go ahead and go home," I say, getting off the bed.
"Wait! Ledger, wait!" I hear Jonah call after me, but I don't stop.
Once I've gotten back to my house, I stomp up to my room, lock my bedroom door, curl up into a ball, and start to cry. I don't know exactly how long it has been when there's a knock on my door. I assume it to be one of my sisters or my mom.
"Go away!" I yell through the door, feeling and sounding like a nine-year-old who's locked themselves in their room.
"No," Jonah's voice says. "I'm not leaving until we talk."
I sigh and begrudgingly get up and open the door for him. He walks into the room, shutting the door behind him. I sit back down on my bed and watch him as he comes toward me. He crawls beside me on my bed and looks at me.
"What?" I snap, sounding and feeling exhausted, and look away from him.
"Look at me," he says softly, cupping my face and turning it to face him. He cups my chin, refusing to break eye contact. He runs a finger over my bottom lip.
"I love you," he whispers before he leans in and presses his lips to mine. I tense, but I kiss him back, trying to draw closer to him, I put a hand on his face, but he slides his fingers in between mine and then moves it away from his face. He pulls away, looking at me.
"The 'someone' I was talking about earlier is you. I want you, I want you so badly, you don't even know, Ledge, I want you more than anything. I love you, gosh, do I love you. I shouldn't have let you leave, but I was afraid. Afraid of what you would think, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized..." he whispers, leaning his head against mine. "You are so perfect, and beautiful, and kind, and caring...I just want to be able to call you mine..."
I look at him, not knowing what to say. I open my mouth but close it again as I'm lost for words. He looks at me, trying to figure out as I am, what I'm going to say next.
"If you want me to go, I'll go," he whispers, stroking my cheek with his thumb.
I shake my head, grabbing his hand. "Stay," I whisper softly. "Or we could go to your house,"
I ride with Jonah to his house after grabbing my bag and telling my mom. I didn't want him to be alone, but I also know that we can get more privacy at his house. When we walk into his house and up the stairs to his bedroom, I put my bag on the floor and look over at him.
He smiles at me, and in this very moment, I want nothing more than to kiss him, so I do. I feel his lips jerk upward into a smile as he pulls me closer to him, deepening the way he's kissing me.
"What do you want for dinner?" Jonah asks me that evening. "We can order something...Chinese, Pizza..."
"Okay, both of those sound good, so how about we order one tonight and the other tomorrow?" I suggest.
He nods and we decide on ordering Chinese food tonight. While we eat, we watch Beauty and the Beast and continue watching the princess movies after it goes off.
After we've finished eating, Jonah turns to me. We're currently sitting on the couch downstairs in the living room. He gets off the couch, cleaning up the containers and then comes back, tugging me to my feet and into him, where he presses his lips to mine once more. We stumble backward, breaking apart to go up the stairs, and rejoining once we're in his bedroom. His lips are soft, and they taste and feel like heaven. And my body curves perfectly into his, his hands fit perfectly on my waist and my face--and really anywhere he puts them.
That night, Jonah and I lay under the covers of his bed, tangled up together. Jonah runs his fingers through my hair, stroking my face.
"I love you," he whispers, burying his face in my neck, kissing me when he pulls out.
"I love you too, JoJo," I whisper, pulling him down to me and kissing him again.
We're still watching the princess movies, just from his bed and not his couch. We've watched Beauty and the Beast and Sleeping Beauty, and now we're on Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Jonah presses his lips to my cheek tenderly, and I move my face so he kisses my lips.
When he pulls away, he strokes my cheek and then kisses me again before saying, "Sleep well, my love,"
"You too, Jo," I whisper, kissing him one last time before falling asleep.
12/24/19
Holy crap, tomorrow's Christmas.
