k a y s e r *
(just a side note, 'Kayser' is pronounced as 'Kai-ser')
Benson and I have been best friends since we were in fourth grade; we're Seniors now. We've practically grown up together, and we've gotten into plenty of arguments and fights, but this one...this one was bad.
≫
"What are you doing tonight?" Benson asks me as he sits down beside me at the lunch table.
"Nothing. Wanna spend the night since it's Friday?" I ask him.
"Sure,"
I have three siblings: two sisters and a brother:
Kayler, she's 20. She's in college, but still lives at home and commutes back and forth every day.
Benson and I are 18.
Kaysee, she's 14.
Kayden, he's 8.
"Kayler will be home, Kaysee has a sleepover, and Kayden will be home," I tell him.
Benson nods.
≫
Benson drives over with his stuff a little bit after school gets out. Since it wasn't planned beforehand, he had to go home and get clothes.
"BENSON!!" Kayden shouts, nearly knocking him off his feet by grabbing his legs as he walks in the house.
Benson laughs and ruffles Kayden's hair.
"Can you and Benson get in the pool with me later???" Kayden asks me.
"We might," I tell him.
Kayler walks down the hallway.
"Hey," she says, lifting a hand.
Benson waves back.
"How are you doing?" she asks him. "Looking at what you want to study in college yet?"
"A little bit, but I honestly have no clue yet, but I do know where I'm going,"
"I didn't know what I wanted to do either, to be honest," Kayler says. "I didn't decide until halfway through my fourth semester.
≫
After we escape from my siblings, we go up the stairs to my bedroom.
"Kayden acted like he hadn't seen you in years," I say, laughing.
"Yeah, I know. What was up with that??" Benson asks me.
I shrug. "Dude, I've got no idea,"
A little bit later, we do go outside and get in the pool with Kayden. I lent Benson a pair of my swimming trunks since he didn't pack any.
"Mom, what are we having for dinner?" I ask my mom when she comes outside after showering after work.
"I was thinking we order pizza and wings and eat outside since it's so nice out," she says.
Everyone agrees so that's what we end up doing.
"Kayden, sit down," Mom says after Kayden tries to get in the pool five minutes after eating.
"But--" Kayden starts.
"No! You need to let your food settle first!"
"Yeah, or else you might get sick and puke in the pool," Benson says.
"And you'll have to clean it up," I add.
Benson turns around and looks at me, slapping my shoulder.
We all get back in the pool after we've relaxed a bit and let our food settle.
When it starts getting darker, we light a fire in the fire pit.
When we go back inside, we take turns showering in different bathrooms.
Benson and I shower in my bathroom, and Kayler and Mom shower in their bathrooms (at separate times) before Kayden does because it's likely he'll be in there for a while.
I let Benson shower before me, and then I shower.
≫
"So..." I begin. This was my first mistake.
Benson looks up.
"Talking to anybody?" I ask him. Second mistake.
"Or do you like anybody?" I ask him. Third, and final mistake.
He looks at me.
"Why is that all you ever want to talk about?" Benson snaps. "Why are you so obsessed with me and my love life?? It's like if I say yes, you'll have to hurry and get someone before I do,"
"Ben," I start. "You know that's not--"
"Really, K? You're trying to defend yourself right now?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
Benson shakes his head. "I think my spending the night was a mistake," he begins. "I'm gonna go home,"
Benson grabs his bag and heads for the door.
"Ben!" I call after him.
He stops. Not for long. He starts moving again.
"Don't go," I say. "Please,"
"Why shouldn't I?" He says with a laugh, turning around to look at me.
"I'm sorry, it's just--I just--"
"You what, Kayser?" he snaps. "Bye,"
"Ben! Please, don't go, I'm sorry, I really am."
He doesn't stop. He's got his hand on the doorknob.
"What if I told you I loved you?"I say; my voice shakes the teensiest bit. He stops. He turns around.
"What?" He says.
"I like you, Ben. I like you a lot. And I know, you're my best friend, and I shouldn't feel these feelings for you, but I do, an-and, I-I've liked you for so long, and I keep asking because I just wanna know if there's someone I should be jealous of. Someone I need to track down and tell them that if they hurt you, that they're going to hear about it from me...so yeah, Ben, I love you, and I don't think I'm gonna stop, and if you still wanna leave...go ahead, but at least I finally got to say it. I've been thinking about it for a while now..."
He looks at me. "I didn't know you felt that way about me," he says softly, looking at me. "I know it wasn't easy to tell me, I know that it took a lot of courage...you know why I kept saying no? Because there was only one person that I wanted, and that was you. Kai, I can't stop thinking about you. I haven't stopped thinking about you for like six months. So, it's okay, that you love me because I love you too, and I don't think I'm gonna stop either,"
As he said this, he moved progressively closer to me. He stops, now, directly in front of me. He looks into my eyes.
"You...mean so much to me... you are my best friend, but I can't keep it inside anymore, Kai, I want you. I want you so bad. I love you more than can I say, and I hope you're okay with that because I'm not giving up on us," he says.
He cups my face and brings his down to meet mine in a soft kiss. He moves his hands from my face and moves them down to my waist, his fingers playing with the hem of my shirt. His hands move back to my face quickly, though, but he moves one again to push me back on the bed. He climbs on my lap and keeps his lips against mine.
He pulls away slowly, looking into my eyes.
"I love you," I say almost immediately, breaking the ice and the silence.
≫
I scoot closer to Benson in my bed. He wraps his arms around me tightly.
"Goodnight, bub," I tell him.
"Goodnight, Kai," he whispers in my ear, kissing behind my ear.
I turn around to face him and kiss his lips.
4/4/2020
It's 2:52 in the morning and my eyes are burning
—Guys I wanna change my username but I need ideas!! Please help!!
