r o n a n *
I haven't talked to AJ since I moved schools--four years ago. We were in eighth grade at the time, and are now seniors. We used to be best friends, but I was a jerk.
I see his name pop up on my 'Friends You May Know' on Facebook and I click on his profile.
He's smiling in his picture; his cover photo is of him and his family. I click 'add friend' and it pops up as 'friend request sent'.
It's been a few days since I sent AJ a request. When I open my phone, I have a notification that says, 'AJ Fields accepted your friend request'. My heartbeat speeds up and I click to send a message.
Ronan Daniels- hey
Ronan Daniels- I'm sorry I did what I did.
Ronan Daniels- I wanna be friends again.
AJ Fields- Hey, Ronan... Thank you for apologizing, it does really mean a lot. Why don't we meet up somewhere?
Ronan Daniels- I'd like that.
Today, I'm meeting AJ at the park. I sit down on a bench and wait for him. I look up at just the right time to see him walking up. My breath gets caught in my throat--he's changed a lot. And he's super cute...
"Hey," AJ says when he reaches me.
"Hey," I say, looking up at him. "I really am sorry for everything I did and said. I--I regret it now, and I just--can we put it behind us and be friends again?"
He nods. "I'd like, Ronan, I would,"
After that day, AJ and I have started talking almost every day again via texting or Facebook messenger. We don't really get to see each other very often since both of us are on our school's baseball team. That's been about four months ago. Today, I get this message:
AJ- I have news.
Ronan- is everything okay?
AJ- I found out who we're playing in our last game.
Ronan- that's cool! Who is it?
AJ- that's the thing...
AJ- it's your team...
Ronan- oh...
⧋
Today is the day of the game.
I am a little bit nervous because we're playing AJ's team, but I'm also nervous just to see AJ.
Ronan- hey, good luck today! :)
AJ- thanks, you too :)
Ronan- you think you could hang around a little bit after the game?
AJ- I probably could... why?
Ronan- I have something planned.
Ronan- a surprise, I guess
AJ- hmm, okay I'll see you at the game then :)
Ronan- see you there :)
"Isn't that AJ Fields?" Josh, one of my teammates asks me. "Your weird, ex-best friend?"
"He's not weird, Josh-" I begin.
"I'm using your own words, dude,"
"I know... yes, that's him."
"Well, we'll have to make sure to beat him! Guys!"
Josh calls the rest of the team over and tells them the situation, which makes me want to shrink back into myself. I feel SO bad. Not only are we playing AJ, who the boys think is some weird, bad kid, but it's also our last game. Which means more pressure on BOTH teams. I look over at AJ and send him a small smile.
The game is over.
Both teams played pretty dirty, actually.
We won.
"AJ!" I call out before I walk off the field. He, as well as everyone else, turns around to look at me. I don't know what I'm thinking, to be honest, but I can't back out now.
He looks at me nervously and I know what he's thinking. He's thinking that I only tried to be friends with him again so I could do something at the game. It was inevitable that we were going to play each other but we just didn't know when. Now I really can't back out.
"AJ! Come here," I say.
He's still looking at me nervously. I hold out my hand to him.
"Please," I mouth.
He looks around, and then back to me.
He starts walking toward me.
When he gets an arm's length away, "What are you going to do?" he asks me.
I can hear the fear in his voice. It breaks me down into pieces.
"I'm giving you your surprise, AJ," I whisper.
"I-" he begins.
"Please just trust me."
I see the nervousness flash across his face. I can practically hear his heart pounding.
"Trust me, AJ, please," I say softly, so only he can hear me. I hold out my hand. I know people are watching us. I know that my team thinks I'm about to punch him. I know his team thinks I'm about to humiliate him. I don't know what the crowd thinks, but they're all about to see what's going to happen. I have butterflies in my belly, and I'm so nervous I think that I might throw up.
AJ comes closer to me, but he's still too far away.
"AJ, just a little bit closer," I say.
"Look at me," I say softer. "Trust me,"
He looks at me, locking eye contact and comes closer. I grab his hand.
"Do you trust me?" I ask him quietly so only he can hear me.
"I-I'm not sure," he whispers shakily. That hurts my heart and it's all my fault.
"I know it's hard, AJ, but please, trust me, alright?"
He nods. "Okay," he says with a shrug.
And I see him tense up, bracing for impact. He still thinks I'm going to hit him.
I grab his hand and pull him closer to me, pulling his body close to mine. I put my hand on the back of his head and bring his face to mine in a soft kiss. I can actually feel AJ's body un-tense as he comes closer to me and smiles against my lips. I pull away softly and look at him.
"Was it worth it to trust me?" I whisper.
He smiles at me. "Yeah," he murmurs, pressing his lips against mine again.
⧋
In the locker room, I grab my stuff and change quickly.
"I did not expect that," Ben, another of my teammates, says.
"I don't think anyone did," Nate says.
"I'm happy for you, bro," Ben says smiling at me. "That takes a lot of courage,"
"I know," I say softly. "I thought I was going to throw up on him from nervousness."
The locker room laughs.
"I guess you're gonna go celebrate with him, then?" Gage asks.
"I am today, but tomorrow, we should do something, yeah?" I say.
They all nod.
"Good luck," rings out behind me.
I walk to my car and put my stuff in the trunk.
"Hey," a voice says behind me.
I look up and see AJ. I smile. "Hey,"
"That was--uh--that was quite the surprise,"
"Yeah? Did you like it though? Were you surprised?"
"Yeah, I was. For a minute there I thought you were gonna hit me or something,"
"I know, I could see it in your face. I'm sorry,"
"It's in the past, Ro," he says as he comes close to me.
"This," he whispers as he cups my face and presses his lips against mine. "Is now,"
I look at him and smile.
"You wanna go back to my house?" I ask him.
"Yeah," he says. "I've missed your mom,"
"She's missed you,"
⧋
I pull into my driveway and AJ and I get out.
"Congratulations on winning, honey!" Mom says. "AJ, welcome back,"
AJ smiles and goes over to hug her.
"Mom, we're going upstairs," I say.
She looks at me. "Okay, make WISE decisions,"
I blush and nod, grabbing AJ's hand and pull him upstairs to my bedroom.
"You still have this?" AJ asks, holding up a bracelet on a string. When AJ and I were in second grade, we made each other 'best friend bracelets".
"Yeah," I say, looking at him. "You still have yours?"
He pulls his keys out of his pocket and shows me the bracelet I made him.
"I use it as a keychain these days," he says. "It's too small to wear now,"
I laugh. "I've missed you, AJ," I say.
"I'm here now, and we've got so much ahead of us,"
I smile at him as he walks closer to me and kisses my lips softly.
"I love you, AJ," I whisper.
"I love you too, Ro," he murmurs before he presses his lips against mine.
5/12/2020
