l a y t o n *
"You have to tell him, Lay." Victoria, my sister, tells me. "It's not fair to him to keep putting all of his time into your friendship when you're not giving it back to him."
"It's not that I don't want to-" I begin.
"I know. It's because you can't be around him because of your crush, I know."
"I can't tell him I like him, he'll hate me!"
"And that's better than hurting him?"
I sigh and look at her because she's right like she always is. "But-"
"No, Layton. No buts this time. If you don't do this soon, you're going to end up hurting him." "But-I'll lose him!"
"You don't know that. Maybe he likes you too."
"But what if he doesn't?"
"Then...then you're going to end up losing him either way."
I sigh deeply and look at my younger sister with her blue-green eyes and shoulder-length brown hair that has curls; she looks like our mom.
"When did you get so smart?" I ask her.
"You taught me," she says, leaning against me and wrapping her arms around me.
"I know, I know...I'm the best brother ever..."
She pulls back. "Says who?"
"Umm, me?!"
She laughs and rolls her eyes.
I walk through the hallway and find my locker, putting in my combination and grabbing my books for my last period class. Without even looking up, I know Ryan is there: we always walk to our last period class together.
"Hey," I say, knowing that my voice is shaking because my hands are too. "Can you come over later?"
"Yeah. Is everything okay?" he asks me.
"Yes! Yeah! Everything's fine!" Overkill, much Layton? I close my locker and we set off walking down the hall to Mr. Kiley's Chemistry 2 class.
Since it's Friday, I would normally invite Ryan over to stay the night but as I'm not sure how tonight is going to go...I refrain from asking him. I really hope it goes well, but something-my gut, probably-tells me that he's going to end up storming out of my house. My mom must notice something is up because when I walk in the kitchen she hands me a cookie.
"So, you're going to tell him?" She asks me as I take the cookie from her hand.
I nearly choke on the bite of the cookie I just took. "How did you know I was going to tell him? Did Tori say something?"
"No, honey...just mother's intuition. Plus you didn't bring him home with you like you normally do on Fridays."
"Yeah, I'm going to tell him...I don't know how it'll go though,"
"It'll all be alright, okay? We'll all be here if you need us. But I think you're stressing about something that doesn't need to be stressed about."
"What do you mean?"
"I think everything is going to be okay. With that being said, be safe and use protection."
"MOM!" I say, feeling myself blush and nearly choking on my cookie (again!).
When the doorbell rings, Ryan comes up to my room a minute or two later. I hear his voice replying to my mom before he enters my room; I think I'm going to throw up.
I can't do this. I think to myself. But I have to. I reprimand myself. Suddenly the internal battles and conversations I'm having with myself are over because my bedroom door opens. He sits down on my bed.
"So...what's wrong?" he asks me.
"Wrong? What's wrong? Nothing's wrong!" I scoff.
"Layton, I've been your best friend for over five years. I know when something's up."
"I can't do this anymore." I blurt.
A wave of emotions rolls over his face.
"Why? What's wrong?" he asks. "Did I do something? Because if I did, we can fix it,"
"No, no, no, no, Ry, you didn't do anything!" I reassure him. "But, I'm going through some internal battles inside my head...about you,"
"About...me?"
"Yeah...look, I like you. I like you a lot, Ryan, and it's not fair for you to continue to put everything into this--us when I'm not giving it all back because I'm trying not to panic or tackle you so I can kiss you," As I ramble on, I look down so I don't have to see his face when he realizes his best friend is...well, you know... But after a few moments, he still hasn't said anything. I look up to find him with a huge grin on his face.
"Are you done now?" he asks.
I nod, looking at him and feeling thoroughly confused.
"Okay," he says, and crawls forward, kissing my lips. He pulls away after a few seconds, biting his bottom lip and looking at me. I feel my heart pounding inside my chest; almost as if it's trying to escape.
"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" He asks me.
I look up at him, a brief moment eye contact occurring. "Honestly?" I say, as a rhetorical question. "I don't know..."
"I'll tell you what's going on in mine." He says, tilting my chin to look at him. "What's going through my head right now is that I have an incredibly adorable, and hot, best friend, that I've liked since fourth grade, and I'm shocked that he actually likes me back, that I want him to be my boyfriend, and I also want to kiss him again. That's what's going through my head right now."
"Y-you...want me?" I stammer.
"I do," he replies, stroking my chin with his thumb. He looks me directly in the eye and refuses to break eye contact. "I love you,"
I release a breath I didn't realize I had been holding--a breath of shock. Then, I find my words again. I find what I feel in my heart. "I love you too, Ryan," I whisper, leaning in close to him. He crawls on top of me, straddling my lap. He tips my chin up and presses his lips to mine softly. When I wrap my arms around him, he intensifies the kiss, licking my bottom lip at one point. He breaks the kiss a few minutes later, both of us breathing heavily, and looks at me looking up at him. He runs his pointer finger over my bottom lip, smiling lightly, and then leaning in to kiss me once more.
Ryan ends up staying over that night since it was Friday and it did go well. Tori and Mom knew we kissed as soon as we came down the stairs, but honestly, it wouldn't have taken a detective to figure it out. That night, Ryan cuddles up to me, his body pressed up against mine, and my arm around him, our fingers laced together. He falls asleep almost as soon as we lay down, but not until I kiss him goodnight...
"Goodnight," I whisper in Ryan's ear, kissing his cheek before closing my eyes to welcome sleep.
12/26/19
